HouseDerouxScribbles

  A pair of ruby-like eyes bze in the darkness of the rolling footage, emerging from the shadows out of nowhere, a cacophony of pots and pans are cnged in orchestral fashion for Goathard "Dark Chef" Ruvress!

  [SFX: FWOOSH!]

  Licking of fme erupt from the wide-basined saucepan that Ruvress is cooking behind! The goat-faced goatgirl tosses the dish within with expert precision, the kind of precision that is practiced every thread until we reach the golden nd!

  [SFX: Fsh!]

  In a fshing camera cut, Ruvress is now standing back to the pan with dying fmes, her hands csped in a 'v' in front of her, legs wide open in thigh-hugging long dark trousers..

  "My name is Goathard, and I cook."

  (Footage of Goathard's bck gloves holding a knife that dices through tomatoes at absurd speed)

  "My entire family cooks."

  (Family portrait of Goathard and her goat-headed family, sole except being the father, a smiling heavyset Elevenese man who has his eyes censored with bck bars)

  "Whether it is in the kitchen, or on the dance floor, I continue to cook."

  (Cut to a close-up of Goathard's hands putting a bck-dyed high chef's hat atop her head)

  "To me, picking up girls is as easy as doing Fmbé...! [1]"

  (Video hard transitions to a shot of Goathard partying with sorceresses in bck ce)

  "For the 'Dark Chef', every night starts with Fondue [2] and ends with Fricassée [3] !"

  (The scene swirls, and cuts to footage Goathard standing over a kitchentop, wowing girls by using a mechanical piledriver to mix batter)

  "As with every sorceress's game, there can only be one winner!"

  (Camera cuts to an angle from an oven's interior, as Goathard shoves the cake batter into the oven)

  [SFX:SLAM!]

  "The golden nd is open, but only for the 'Dark Chef', Goathard Ruvress!"

  Percheron Nightclub, The Loft.

  You can tell that someone had way too much fun in the production room!

  Madi-san and Saint-Taiga are giggling like schoolchildren who accidentally stumbled upon an absurd stash of gold, trying to suppress their ughter!

  "This your guy, Saint-Taiga?! Gotta say, she shoulda auditioned for Mastxrchxf!"

  Saint-Taiga puts up both hands, looking into the hard camera ahead! "What can moi' say? I like the girlya's fire! You need a little fire in the nightclub! My kinda guy!"

  "Fire. Oh there will be fire tonight. But the question is. If her cooking skills transte to game. No matter what happens, there will be explosions tonight." Doktah csps her fingers in front of her face, an ominous, knowing smile hidden under those Gxndou hands!!

  "That's right! Whether its in Mastxrchxf, or Keys To The Loft," Saint-Taiga pauses to let the live audience below to shout the show's tagline;

  Girls Picking Up Girls![SFX: (YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!)])

  "... there can only be one! One person will light the fire, fire, and reach the VIP Loft by their own effort!"

  "Ehehehe! The fire rises! Well! Whatdda we waitin' for?!

  As Saint-Taiga pops open a new champange bottle in one hand and fizzy orange in the other with a single flick of her thumbs, Doktah makes yet another look towards an off-screen camera. Compared to the more seasoned entertainers in Saint-Taiga and La-Roux, Doktah seems to have a hard time tracking where the main cameras are, and keeps looking off to the side camera, as if checking for something!

  "The magickal game of Girls Picking Up Girls shall begin shortly! Coming up next after the break, our first trial by magick!

  "But now, a word from our sponsórs...! Aya-chan! Do your line!!!"

  Outside the Percheron Nightclub, Production Truck

  "Hai...? Kono bangumi wa goran no suponsaa no teikyou de okurishimasu![4]"

  What did that booba fiend and her insane acquantaince make me just read...?!

  It really feels like it has been two weeks.

  Hai. It's me, your small and cute detective, Ayano des. I have no idea what just happened. We were just looking for Rufti de Galopin this morning to solve a mystery. In a whirlwind of trouble, Madi-san dragged me and Annalie into some weird game show.

  Somehow Rufti is also dragged into this madness as well.

  All I wanted to do, was to solve a mystery! (AND clear up the yuribaiting misunderstanding!)

  Somehow I am roped into recording sponsorship lines for a messed up OrbTV show!

  The girls in duck-caps are as busy as ever, monitoring every bit of the nightclub from every angle. They weren't joking around; there are more observation orbs that are projected to the production truck than my eye can keep up with, constantly swapping angles as footage is passed from one finishing desk to another!

  Well, I'm not an entertainer, so I don't really care.

  I'm the detective, thank you very much!

  >implying that I would ever need to understand how all this works>implying that I will ever become a veetuba>never happening>not on my small, cute thighs!Both Madi-san and the weird saint with orange hair and white robes insisted on a very specific timing that the sponsorship had to be read. "Gotta do it live, Aya-chan! This is a livestream show!" Flipping open my phone, I check the time.

  It is now 19:45.

  Well. I got what I came for.

  I reach for green nyard attached to a bck-gold card that has VIP embossed in cursive on it.

  Lifting it up, I put it around my neck!

  Now! Nobody will impede this little detective in her detective work!

  Normally there would be all sorts of 'restricted areas' that Madi-san has to sneak into, but do I look like the sneaky type?! No! If we are going to do detective work, we have to walk the path of light, after all!

  Between the [Narrator's Power],

  my own [Detective's Authority],

  and now this VIP card!

  This detective will be free to go wherever I please, without anyone stopping me!

  There are only three of these in existence, by the way.

  Apparently these cards were only printed today, one for me, one for Annalie, and one to be given to the show's winner at the end of the night.

  Right now, there is only one card left on the table.

  That's the special print card that has a golden championship cup embossed on it, a completely different printing from Annalie's and mine, which only has the 'VIP' text!

  Right now, this small and cute detective has a clear path to victory!

  Find Rufti!

  Get Fox-Mask's ntern from her!

  With that, all conspiracies can be solved as mysteries!

  It's that simple!

  Its not like the literal culprit is going to be here, clubbing and picking up girls as well, is she?!?!

  Putting my hands on my hips as I sm the back door of the production truck, I saunter my way down the stairs to Percheron Nightclub!

  As the ignorant and arroganté little detective disappears beneath the stairs into the nightclub, >greentext starts etching themselves on the brick wall that is passed behind her, a sign of bad things to come!

  >oh nonononono>she doesn't know>they never learn!>guess some incompetents gotta find out the hard way!Go Go And Learn Cooking & Moonrunes With Aya-chan & La-Roux![1] Fmbé - A cooking technique that ignites the dish within the pan, usually when alcohol is added. This causes fire to rise up really high in the pan!

  [2] Fondue - A Swxss dish that is made of melted cheese and wine! Its kind of like a dipping kind of meal! Miss Starlight has this on the menu at her cafe!

  [3] Fricassée - "Non non, Fricassée is not your everyday meat stew!!! It takes real skill to keep the meat moist and tender, between saute and stew!" "YOU audition for Mastxrchxf then, Madi-san!"

  [4] Kono bangumi wa goran no suponsaa no teikyou de okurishimasu! - Why am I being made to read this?! This line basically says "We greatly appreciate the sponsors who brought to us this show!" ... And the sponsor listed is... The New Coimbra Tourism Board?!?!