Intern’s Log: Update on Mittens – The Nightmare Returns

  Date: Redacted

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I should have left this job months ago.)

  Mittens is back.

  I repeat. Mittens. Is. BACK.

  And, somehow, he’s even angrier than before.

  Last time we saw him, he had vanished into the night after turning an entire high-security military lab into his own personal playground of terror. We assumed—hoped—he had simply disappeared, off to torment some other unsuspecting country.

  But now?

  Now he’s heading west.

  And he’s raving about aliens.

  Phase One: The First Sighting

  The first report came from a small town in Nebraska, of all places.

  ? A gas station attendant claims a "weird-looking guy" in a trench coat stole an entire display of tuna cans.

  ? A farmer woke up to find all his chickens herded into a "strategic formation."

  ? A truck driver swears he saw a “man with glowing green eyes” hijack his vehicle… only to abandon it 40 miles later, leaving a single dead rat on the dashboard.

  And then?

  Then came the security footage.

  At exactly 2:37 AM, a gas station camera picked up a feline-shaped silhouette perched on top of a fuel truck, tail flicking aggressively, eyes glowing like tiny green hellfires.

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Audio analysis detected muttering.

  What was he saying?

  "Damned aliens. Eating cats. Freaks think they’re superior—"

  "I’ll show that Malconian."

  Malconian.

  What the hell is a Malconian?!

  Phase Two: The Growing Pattern

  ? Texas: An entire vet clinic’s supply of catnip was stolen. The only clue? Scratched into a metal kennel door: “War is coming.”

  ? New Mexico: A bar owner reported an unsettling cat-like figure sitting at the counter, drinking milk and grumbling about ‘space tyrants who disrespect feline sovereignty.’

  ? Arizona: A government facility was broken into, its files on Project Prometheus wiped clean. Security found a single furball and a half-eaten alien biology textbook.

  ? California: A UFO cult was overthrown in the middle of a meeting. Survivors claim “a shadow with claws” stormed in, stole their documents, and declared himself “Commander of Earth’s Feline Defense Initiative.”

  So, uh.

  Mittens is preparing for war.

  Phase Three: The Big Question

  We don’t know what a Malconian is.

  We don’t know why Mittens thinks aliens are eating cats.

  We don’t know how he’s been staying under the radar for this long.

  But we do know this:

  ? Mittens is out there.

  ? He has a plan.

  ? He is armed with stolen knowledge and unlimited spite.

  ? And if there’s an intergalactic threat to cats, he’s not waiting for permission to handle it.

  I told my boss.

  You know what he did?

  He just sighed, rubbed his temples, and muttered:

  "God help the aliens."

  End Log.