Intern’s Log: This Is It.

  Date: Redacted

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (There is no escape.)

  The aliens gave us a choice.

  Fix the mess.

  Or be “gently” corrected.

  And considering their version of “gentle” involves planetary intervention, I’m really hoping we don’t have to find out what that means.

  But here’s the thing.

  I don’t have a plan.

  I don’t know how to stop Bandit.

  I don’t know how to make the war bears stand down.

  I don’t know what Fen is really doing out in the frozen wastelands.

  I don’t know what China is planning with the panda warriors.

  And I definitely don’t know what the hell my own government is going to do.

  But you know who does?

  Vicky.

  Phase One: The Plan (Which I Did Not Make)

  She was waiting for me when I got back.

  Leaning against my desk, arms crossed, looking annoyingly confident.

  "You look tired, Reynolds."

  I was tired. But I was also annoyed.

  "I just had a psychic yelling match with aliens, Vicky." I groaned. "They basically told us we’re an intergalactic embarrassment and we have to fix this, or they will."

  Vicky tilted her head. Smirked.

  "Well, that’s not surprising."

  She said it so casually that I almost forgot she was one of the reasons this whole thing started.

  "Vicky," I sighed. "Please tell me you have a plan."

  And that’s when she did something that actually scared me.

  She laughed.

  Phase Two: Vicky’s “Solution”

  She walked up to me, close enough that I could see the way her golden eyes flickered with something unreadable.

  "Oh, Reynolds. I’ve had a plan since the day I woke up."

  Then she leaned in—voice low, confident, dangerous.

  "And now?"

  "It’s time for you to do exactly what I say."

  I should have protested.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  I should have argued.

  I should have done something.

  But I just stood there like an idiot and nodded.

  Phase Three: What She Told Me

  Bandit is moving.

  The Free Procyon Federation (a.k.a. his war-crime raccoon nation) is planning something big.

  We need to stop him.

  Or at least redirect him.

  Russia’s war bears and China’s panda assassins are about to clash.

  If that happens?

  The aliens will definitely step in.

  We cannot let that happen.

  Fen is NOT just running a wolf cult.

  He’s been waiting.

  For what? She wouldn’t say.

  The government won’t fix this.

  They don’t even know how.

  But they are watching me.

  The only way this ends well…

  Is if I talk to Bandit personally.

  …What.

  "Are you INSANE?" I blurted. "How am I supposed to reason with a raccoon who invaded Mongolia over BBQ?!"

  She just smiled.

  "You’re going to remind him of something important."

  "And what is that?"

  Her expression softened.

  "That he likes you."

  Oh.

  Oh no.

  Bandit does like me.

  I am one of the few people he hasn’t actively tried to sabotage.

  I am one of the only people he enjoys messing with.

  I am technically, sort of, his “favorite human.”

  Which means Vicky is right.

  I have to talk down the most dangerous raccoon in history.

  I am going to die.

  Phase Four: The Last Thing She Said

  She turned to leave.

  "Where are you going?" I asked.

  Vicky paused. Looked back at me.

  And then she said something so completely unexpected that my brain just shut down.

  "It’s time for you to meet my mother."

  What.

  WHAT.

  I opened my mouth to demand an explanation, but she was already walking away, tails flicking behind her.

  Phase Five: I Don’t Like Where This Is Going

  ? Aliens are mad.

  ? Bandit is planning something insane.

  ? Russia and China are about to go to war over their uplifted animals.

  ? Fen is waiting for something.

  ? And now I have to meet Vicky’s mother???

  I don’t know what’s coming next.

  But I do know one thing.

  Vicky has been playing a long game.

  And I?

  I am right in the middle of it.

  End Log.