Past the door was the Iron Garden, or so said the steel sign mounted above Blorbo’s head. It was what they called the grimly beautiful front yard of the Barony of Luxden. The name that sounded poetic until you realized it was meant literally. Instead of flowerbeds, the grounds were dotted with metallic flora, namely silver roses with razor-edged petals, copper lilies tarnished green with age, and steel thorns twining around decorative iron trellises for absolutely no reason. The occasional real plant fought for survival in stone planters, and of course their leaves were wilting under the oppressive presence of so much lifeless artistry.

  Nonetheless, the abundance of guests here suggested they didn’t give a buttock about fakeness. Lords and ladies, merchants and mercenaries all donned the kind of opulent clothing that made it clear they had far too much money and far too little self-awareness. They talked in voices raised just enough to be overheard, as if this was just a giant well-rehearsed performance for them.

  The First Lady stopped to talk to some rich-looking guests as Rob and Lena walked past her. As Blorbo grazed past a copper lily that was somehow teal-colored, the System pinged him with a message.

  [You’ve been poisoned. Gained Temporary Aura: Poisoned]

  [- 1HP per second for the next minute.]

  What? [-1 HP] I don’t even— [-1 HP] —have 60 HP! [-1 HP] How do I get rid of this? [-1 HP]

  Who puts a poisonous metal plant in the front garden FOR GUESTS TO SEE? [-1 HP]

  [SIDEQUEST AVAILABLE: Familiarize Yourself with Poison]

  Objective: Slowly get to know the potency of poison in this world by familiarizing yourself with playful, harmless poison.

  Prerequisite: Touch a poisonous object.

  Reward: Temporary Aura: Poisoned Removed.

  Failure: You die.

  Accept: YES/NO

  Not even a single EXP? [-1 HP]

  But I’m dying here. Can’t be picky. [-1 HP]

  He clicked YES immediately.

  [SIDEQUEST COMPLETED]

  [You have familiarized yourself with poison. If you die later, it’s your own fault.]

  Reward: [Temporary Aura: Poisoned] Removed.

  Wha?! But I haven’t done anything?

  Wait. The quest simply said to familiarize myself with Poison. It’s basically: drink poison and you won’t get poisoned this one time.

  Did the System just save me? I have no Poison Resistance, at least not that I know of. I would’ve died there.

  Lena encouraged as she took another step, careful not to touch any rich-looking person. “C’mon, Robert, darling. Hunch over. Show your exertion. We have to make it look like Blorbo’s heavy!”

  Rob groaned, muttering under his breath. “I am hunching over. He’s too light!”

  “Where’s your enthusiasm, sweetie? I’m light and you still hunched over,” she whispered.

  I don’t need to know that information.

  “Can you see the private quarter anywhere?” Rob looked around.

  The plan was to deliver this to their private quarter, then disabling the locks as they were on the way out so Anders could sneak in. Blorbo would be placed by the entrance or at a chokepoint so if there was any alarming ripple in the veil, the investigators would either focus on the enchanted table or the party could have it block the way so Anders had time to escape.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  “Oooh! They have crystal balls in the ballroom!” Lena craned her neck exactly where the private quarter wouldn’t be.

  Rob pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lena. Private quarters. Focus.”

  “But they’re floating, Rob,” she whispered in a reverent hush. “Look! Just bobbing up and down like little glowing moons.”

  “You told me to not ask about why Blorbo is moving because that would draw suspicion from the Lady…” Rob muttered.

  “Well, the Lady isn’t in front of us anymore. And I thought you moved Blorbo.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “I also didn’t. Then why did Blorbo move?”

  “I just asked you that,” Rob sighed.

  It wasn’t helping that the booming voice of the First Lady rang out behind Blorbo, making things more hectic and distracting than ever, “Oh! What beautiful copper lilly that is somehow teal-colored! The Lord must have poured his heart into making this ball exquisite just for me! I must bring it to my private quarter at once.”

  Lena kept talking, “Do you think they explode if you throw them hard enough?”

  “What ‘they’?” Rob asked.

  “Oh wait. Look. Look!” She pointed at something.

  “Not now, Lena. Nothing can be more important than finding the private quarter.”

  “An army of armed knights are walking right toward us! So majestic!”

  “Lena, focus—wait, what?”

  Both Rob and Blorbo turned around.

  Indeed, an army of knights was approaching, making clanking sounds as their armors moved.

  The guests parted like silk curtains, fear rippling through the crowd as murmurs turned to gasps. But the knights weren’t marching toward Blorbo.

  They stopped at the sprawled figure of a woman collapsed on the ballroom floor, her elaborate gown pooling around her like spilled wine. In her delicate, gloved hand, she clutched a beautiful copper lilly that was somehow teal-colored.

  Her mouth hung open in a silent gasp, foamy residue bubbling at the corners of her lips. Her fingers twitched once, twice, then went utterly still.

  One of the knights unsheathed his sword with a metallic sching! and bellowed, “The lady has been poisoned!”

  Oh. The poison wasn’t there because the Lord wanted it to be there.