Theme: Self-Development
Sunday, March 2, 2025
My top priority this week is figuring out what to do about Karen. I want to gather as much information about her as I can, plus laws against nuisance calls, etc. so I'm working on solid facts beyond 'bitch called the cops and freaked out my mom' - though that is the driving factor.
Getting some of the information is going to be easy enough. She probably has Facebook, and if she does her profile is probably public. For the rest I have to be patient. I can't just go door-to-door asking questions about her without raising all kinds of red flags. It'll have to be organic, chatting up the neighbors as we meet going about our daily business.
Which brings me to my social skills problem. That's something that's becoming more and more necessary for me to work on. There are videos on YouTube I can start with yet not fry my brain trying to do too much. Just one video under thirty minutes long a night while I'm winding down for bed.
Kitchen: 48 Coding: 48 Running: 15
Monday, March 3, 2025
What's one thing that's going really well for you right now? For a shock, school. The bus ride to and from is tolerable because the bus driver doesn't put up with shenanigans. At school, no one really bothers me and my locker hasn't been tampered with again. It's nice to be able to use it instead of carrying all my school gear with me everywhere. But what's-her-face still talks shit about me behind my back thinking it's funny. I'll be disabusing her of that notion fairly soon. And I still owe Principal Thomas for suspending me for defending myself and doing almost nothing to my attacker. I haven't forgotten. I haven't forgiven.
Today I walked directly up to Travis and asked, "Is that what you were warning me about?" As usual, no preamble or context. He said, "Partly. It's good you're thinking before you act." We walked away from each other and went about our own business. It's starting to freak me out, though. What's Travis' deal? Is there any substance to his side of our cryptic back-and-forth or am I reading into generalities? He intrigues me, and as long as he does I'll keep playing along with whatever this is.
Kitchen: 49 Coding: 49 Running: 16
Tuesday, March 4, 2025
What is your vision for the next three months? Okay, that time frame covers March, April, and May. At home I should have Karen sorted one way or another so Mom and I — and the rest of the community — don't have to worry about random visits from the Boys in Blue. I'll probably have my furniture repainted by then, unless I have to sand it first. (God, I hope I don't have to sand it first!) At the very end of this time period school will be out for the summer. I mean to have the highest possible grades and get into a couple of AP classes even though I don't intend to go to college. I'll be through with beginner coding and moving on to more intermediate lessons and I may go ahead and pay for a summer class. Witchcraft is a tricky point. I need to figure out how far I want to go with this. And I'm definitely going somewher with it. The ability to cast spells and have them really work is too big of a game changer to just drop.
My running socks were delivered today. I'm curious to see how they combine with my new shoes to make a difference, or if they do. I'm wary of buying special clothes for activities because often it's a waste of money. I've got a couple pairs of sweat pants and t-shirts I wear to run in, and my high school hoodie because of weather.
Kitchen: 50 Coding: 50 Running: 17
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Wednesday, March 5, 2025
What did I do today that brought me closer to my dream? I still haven't figured out what my dream is. It's not having a career in coding. That's just a means to an end. That end, as I envision it right now, is not being tied down to a job that I hate that barely gets me by. Coding offers freedom and flexibility. The question remains: Freedom to do what? But, as a simplistic answer to the question, doing my daily coding lessons gets me closer to… whatever.
Tomorrow is the First Quarter moon. I'm starting to pay attention to the phases of the moon because they're clearly significant when casting a spell. They're good markers for learning even if I haven't got any spells going at the moment. The First Quarter is supposed to be for balance, overcoming obstacles, and perseverance. I definitely need that kind of energy in my life right now. Would this be a good time to cast a spell to help me deal with all the proverbial balls I have in the air?
The running socks were more comfortable than my regular socks, and the running shoes felt way better than the old gym shoes I was running in. I'm giving more thought to buying dedicated running clothes now.
Kitchen: 51 Coding: 51 Running: 18
Thursday, March 6, 2025 - First Quarter Moon
What do I struggle with the most? Anxiety, both mine and Mom's. My nervous system hasn't gotten the message that we're safe yet. We don't have medical insurance to go to therapy and/or get medication so we're just muddling along on our own. I don't know what to do about this and honestly it's pissing me off. Doing journal prompts is helping me articulate my issues and confront them but it's not enough and Mom doesn't even have that.
Back to the idea of balance, today's as good as any to sort that out. I'm giving fixing up my furniture a Priority 2. School is always Priority 1. Coding is Priority 3 right now but I'll move it to Priority 1 during the summer. Spells and such are Priority 2. Cooking is Priority 3 because I only do it once a week and I already have a menu and shopping list for the next four weeks. Five priorities: One Priority 1, 2 Priority 2, and 2 Priority 3. Having these nailed down will make it much easier to plan my schedule and to-do's.
Kitchen: 52 Coding: 52 Running: 19
Friday, March 7, 2025
How can I turn my biggest weakness into a strength? My biggest 'weakness' is a lack of natural empathy, but it's already a strength. I don't get carried away by my emotions the way most people seem to. It's always a bonus to be calm and analytical when everyone else is freaking out. I can learn things like body language, facial expressions, and social cues — both how to read them and display them myself. At the very least it'll help me blend in and interact with other people.
Blech. I don't mind rain. I don't mind snow. I very much do mind the combination. This morning's weather made running less pleasant, especially when it slid down my neck and into my shirt. I'm considering getting a secondhand treadmill for days when it's too nasty to run outside.
Karen has taken to sitting on her porch with a cup of coffee every morning and watching me as I run. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a small, easily concealed pair of binoculars. I try to ignore her but she's irking the absolute shit out of me. At least she hasn't called the police on anyone this week.
Kitchen: 53 Coding: 53 Running: 20
Saturday, March 8, 2025
I was right. Karen's Facebook profile is public. I'm still shocked at how much personal and very specific information people just put out there on the internet. I now have Karen's full government name, her age (62), her marital status (divorced), her family composition (1 adult married daughter, no grandkids yet, no other family to speak of) and a long list of her favorite everything.
So what's my goal, here? Make her move? That would be one helluva spell, as entrenched as she is. Make her have a non-fatal accident? Tempting. The daughter might put her in a care facility where she would be somebody else's problem. But 62 is a bit young for that. Or I could make her stop gossiping and calling the cops on people who are just minding their own damn business. Also difficult, but more possible (and less drastic) than the other options.
I've discovered several versions of a 'STFU and Mind Your Own Business' spell. Some call for candles, but we don't have any and I don't want to buy anything special. I like the idea of using ordinary objects for magic. A couple of the 'freezer spells' look interesting although if Mom finds something weird in the freezer I'll have some explaining to do.
Kitchen: 54 Coding: 54 Running: 21
