DetectiveRed

  Max is a sadist. A brutal sadist. There is no other expnation for this. I feel so small, so helpless. I want to implode and take her out with me. To make matters worse, the waitresses keep calling me ’Miss’ and Max calls me ‘Sweetie’.

  And I am reacting every time.

  I can't let Max notice that, though. She's trying to mess with me. Make me slip up. I need to keep my cool.

  "Can I have my phone?"

  "Of course." She reaches into my jeans and hands it over.

  Can I tell Lee about this? Probably not. She'd see it as proof. Maybe I can tell her some bits and pieces. I stare at the bck screen. I can’t even risk that. Even if I didn’t care about Lee judging or analysing me, I couldn’t tell her. She won’t believe me. No one will believe me. My body is being held hostage and I have no leverage.

  "Are you going to do anything with that?" She's got a stupid smirk on my face. I'm just a toy to her, and it really shouldn't be making me blush. I should be scared. I am scared, I'm alone, but here's this horrible feeling of comfort gnawing at my gut and ripping it out seems like the only solution.

  "Why are you doing this?"

  "Because you keep dodging questions and refusing to help me figure this out. You apologised when we first swapped bodies; there's something you're not telling me."

  "I was scared you'd be mad at me." If I give her what she wants, will she let me go? Or at least stop teasing me.

  "You acted like it might have been your fault. Why?"

  "I had no way of knowing what let us swap bodies." I was panicking st night. I lost my cool and she's reading into it. "You could have accused me of anything! I ran into you!"

  "Is that all there is to it? Yeah but we bonked heads immediately after that and it didn't work."

  "You made it happen today. You know better than me. How did you do it?"

  "I wanted it to happen." She looks horrified. It’s the most rational reaction she's had to anything so far, and yet it felt worse. What she's thinking of isn't the whole truth, but my sudden inability to turn off my emotion could give her the wrong idea. Her face rexes after a second. I’m done for. Horror or disgust, she knows she has something.

  "Oh."

  "You wanted to be me." She smiles again. Panicking won’t fix this. Even if she thinks she got something, if no one will believe me about this, they also won’t believe her. Percy is scary. Percy is a man. Percy is a scary man, and the idea that he is any kind of freak died years ago. He is a scary, tough, man and he wouldn’t want this.

  "I wanted to disappear," If I stay calm and correct her, she might give up. The unfamiliar surroundings aren't helping my anxiety. Everything is so vibrant. These feelings are so loud. It's enough to overload my senses. Why can’t I just fade out like normal? "My thoughts wandered a lot of pces. Including becoming someone else."

  The smile falls from her face. Is there any right answer in this situation? Any way that she’ll just give up and leave me alone? Meeting up with her was a mistake. Not meeting up in a familiar location was a mistake. I thought it’d be better, but I don’t have anywhere to run. Do I even have enough money for a cab?

  "What made you want to swap back?"

  "I don't want to talk about it right now." Charley’s friendly smile fshes in my mind. I need to try something else.

  "What happened?"

  "I became you," I snarl and she hardly reacts. If I was in my body right now, most people would be backing away.

  "That's not what made you run for your life." She sounds worried, which is weird. This has very little to do with why we swapped and I'm trying to make it clear I'm pissed at her. Nothing is happening. She doesn't care.

  "Maybe not. But not wanting to be you was a lot of it." Does being mean help here? Could she even be scared of me? Am I even capable of hurting her with words? She did try to talk to me while I was in my body and maybe thought my reputation held up. If I couldn't scare her away then, what chance in hell did I have now. No matter how many teeth I bare, she'll call my bluff.

  "Sure it was.” She rolls her eyes. “Look, honey. Why did changing back suddenly become urgent?"

  "I saw Charley, that's all,” I say. If I monitor this voice and act cold, she has to let me go.

  "Okay, that's all I need to know for now." She rexes into her chair and I do the same. Any second she could start up again, but I at least need to pretend I’m okay. If I don’t, she’ll look for more angles to get more out of me.

  The server sits a bowl of chips on the table. Okay means eating, but I can't think about eating. In front of me is a girl wearing my face, staring expectantly.

  I ordered fish, but I don’t even know if it’s any good here. If it’s bad, I’m going to be wasting her money. Which shouldn't worry me. She stole my body. Feeling guilty about wasting her money is stupid. In terms of scumminess running up the bill isn't nearly as bad as taking a joyride in someone else's body. That still didn't change that it does make me feel guilty.

  Chips should be safe, but the unfamiliarity and the general anxiety makes it hard to think about eating. I mean these taste buds aren’t even mine. What if I like different foods now? What if I'm in a totally new sensory minefield where I have to figure out what I can eat again by process of elimination?

  She pops a chip in her, my mouth. How can she eat without a care in the world at a time like this?

  "I didn't have breakfast. You are gonna be hungry if you don't eat." My, her stomach grumbles as if on cue.

  "I don't want you to waste your money."

  "I'm not wasting my money. I said it was my treat."

  "But--"

  "But nothing. You are in my body. You are gonna make me hungry if you don't eat. So eat." She’s trapped me; maybe if I freak out she’ll give me my body back, but I don’t want to cause a scene. I’m going to have to risk the food not being okay.

  I quietly obey. Her forcefulness is scary. She watches me while I eat. Like I'm a subject to be studied. Perhaps I ate too much earlier and she's not hungry. I don’t get why she isn’t eating much. She just said she'd steal some chips and I have to think about it because instead of eating, she won’t stop looking at me. How am I meant to rex?

  "What are you looking at?"

  "What do I call you while you're in my body?"

  "Call me my name."

  "Can I have my phone for a second?" she asks.

  I reach into her jeans and hand over her phone. She's full of non sequiturs and deflections. I hate it. I'm starting to hate her. Why am I only starting now?

  She points the camera at me and I hear the snap of a photo being taken before I can cover up my face. She shows me the photo and, well. That's me. I mean it's Max, but it's not just her. I can see a couple of my features there. My eyes are the biggest one; there's a slight tweak in the facial structure and the expression is definitely mine.

  "Does this look like a Percy?"

  "That's me?" My face starts to warm up. When Kait was messing with my hair and making me presentable, I was too anxious to actually process how different I looked from my usual self, and how different I looked from the normal Max. She’s trying to mess with me.

  "Yes, it is. Max is gender-neutral, but Percy isn't. You need a name. Just for today, at least."

  "Using a girl's name is too far." Lee would have a field day with this.

  "Dude. Man up. It's not hard, just choose something." She's right, I can’t let her keep using pet names. I need to stay sane. Pet names or Percy, people might think something weird is going on. Or worse, they might think we are dating.

  "Kay." I didn't even think. Damn it.

  "See, was that hard, Kay?" Maybe pet names would have been better. Being mistaken for a couple would have been better.

  My face burns when she calls me that. I hate it. I hate her. I should never have entertained that name idea when Lee floated it. I shouldn’t remember it and I shouldn’t have said it. Lee will never let me live this down if she finds out. So she can’t. I need to process this on my own ter, for now, shove it down.

  I should focus on the problem in front of me: Max. Comparing her face to mine, I can see a couple differences; again the eyes, but her jaw is sharper than mine and her stubble makes her look dashing rather than zy. She’s turned my face into one that looks good with only a couple of tweaks. I want to sp her. I want to put this behind us and go back to normal. Maybe if I eat fast, we can get this over and done with.

  I pick at the fish on my pte as she analyses me. It's putting me off eating. At least it seems to be fine. I guess since fish and chips are a British staple, they'd have to be hard to fuck up. I wish I could enjoy it. Her green eyes stare intently at my face.

  "We should clean up your reputation," she says as she keeps staring at me.

  "Why are you looking at me like that?"

  "It's just odd. Kait thought you were some tough guy, but you haven't even tried to swap back forcefully yet."

  "There wouldn't be a point," I mumble, between bites. It’d be dangerous to try; she doesn’t know how strong I am.

  "Maybe I'd give it back if you tried, though. You never know."

  "I'd prefer not to risk hurting either of us."

  "You are just a gentle giant, aren't you?" The giant thing stung, but she's right.

  "I guess," I mutter.

  "I didn't mean it as a bad thing."

  "Just because I don't want to hurt you, doesn't mean I like you. It's a basic courtesy. I still can't believe you took my body." She’s so lucky that people don’t have an accurate idea of me. Why couldn’t she have just believed it.

  "Wanna go shopping?"

  "Are you even listening?" She's either ignoring how wrong the situation we're in is, or she knows and is intentionally ignoring me. I have a feeling it’s the second.

  "Come on, Kay, it'll be fun."

  "I want my body back."

  "I need new clothes. Maybe you could model for me."

  "Fuck you. Shop on your own."

  "Come on."

  "Why?"

  "Cause girls’ clothes would look good on you, Kay."

  She uses that name like she's twisting a knife. I let slip too much. I knew I couldn't trust her. I knew it. She must be feeling so smug. Percy is under her thumb, she can get him to do whatever she wants because she knows he won’t actually fight back. She knows the real Percy now. The meek little freak with a girl's name sitting in his back pocket, just waiting for her to ask. That’s who he really is and her knowing means my life is over.

  "I'm serious, Max. I want my body back and I want to go home." She stops smiling. There's no point trying to be brave anymore. Maybe if I break down crying, she’ll let me go.

  "I can't risk you ignoring what happened to us."

  "If we just avoid each other, it won't happen again. I’ll keep my distance, I can pay you to keep yours.” Desperate. Stupid.

  "It's not that simple, though, is it? Something changed after we first swapped. The first change, only our eye colour changed. Now you look different from me. Not drastically, but we could be sisters."

  Since we first talked at the dance, she's been treating me like something to be investigated, or a toy to be pyed with. She stopped briefly when we swapped for the first time, and she's stopped again now. I need to capitalise on it and get out.

  "This won't be a problem if we hadn't swapped again, it’s our best option."

  "I need to know what that weird feeling is. It only started after we stopped and if I don't know, I can't fix it."

  "That’s not my problem. You can figure it o–"

  "I'm making it your problem. You are the only one I can talk to about this." There's a desperation in her voice, and I want to care. I want to feel bad for her.

  "I've got enough on my pte."

  "I'm not asking you to listen to me. You've made it clear you don't care about our old friendship." I’m not the bad guy here. "Or about yourself."

  "Then what do you want?"

  "Let me experiment for a bit. In return, I will get you lunch and stay away from you for the rest of the year."

  Puppy dog eyes shouldn’t work coming from my body. She’d moved her hair out of her face, something I’d never been confident enough to do, and it’s disarming. If it’s just a day, this should be fine. If she figures out what’s freaking her out, maybe we can stop this from ever happening again, and she'll keep her mouth shut.

  “And you won't tell anyone?”

  “I won’t. I’ll even protect your shitty reputation if you want.” At least she’s not lying anymore.

  "So, what do you want me to do?"

  "I want you to hang out with me. Pretend you're Kay. I'll be Max. We are just friends hanging out with each other."

  "You won't bother me for the rest of the year if I do this?"

  "I swear."

  "Deal."

  ---

  My behaviour is out of line. Really far out of line. This girl is Percy. Childhood friend Percy. Charging rhino Percy. Could probably easily kill me when we switch back, Percy.

  And yet I keep teasing him. It’s so hard to resist when he reacts like that.

  I haven’t lied about my motivations. I need to know what's wrong with me, what caused the swap, and if possible how we can fix it. Percy (or Kay) is intriguing. When I bonked our heads together, I didn't pn on teasing; I just wanted an excuse for him to stay and be open with me. It’s leverage.

  Except he's cute. I didn't expect that. I've flirted with the bi bel for a while. From what I can tell, I am mostly straight. I don't feel things for most girls, but some are cute. Kay is definitely fitting into that category. Maybe I'm just narcissistic, but her reactions to things, the way she is trying to act tough, the way she blurted out her name makes me want to squeeze her.

  He finishes his lunch and we walk out to the car together. It's hard to think of him consistently.

  "Do you know how to drive?" I ask, as we get in the car. It's my licence with my face; he'll have to drive.

  "I'm on my learners."

  "Are you serious?"

  "I walk everywhere," he says defensively.

  "I am not in the mood to walk. Bonk me, I'll drive." I lean my face into his and a brief panic appears on his face before I feel a gentle tap on my forehead.

  The world spins as I readjust to my body. I wiggle my fingers and there's a small dey between the instructions and the action. That can't be safe.

  "Were you this dizzy, Kay?" I ask as the world starts to stabilise.

  "Dizzy?" he whispers.

  "Why are you whispering?"

  "Why are you yelling?" He pipes up a bit.

  "Sorry."

  "I wasn't dizzy. I tried to make sure we didn't get concussions. Maybe I failed."

  "My head doesn't hurt."

  "I don't know, then." His louder speaking is still barely more than a whisper. His fidgeting has gotten worse, and his lleg moves the car with how fast and forceful it bounces.

  "Are you alright?"

  "No."

  "Do you need to tell me what's wrong?"

  "Max, you are using me as a test subject. I can deal with it, so you leave me alone, but please don't pretend to care." His voice shakes. I want to tell him it isn't pretend. That I'm really worried. In his mind, though, he probably would see that like a snake trying to tell a mouse everything is going to be okay.

  "I can't do this without you," I argue. I know it won’t convince him. My head is starting to clear.

  "I'll be fine."

  "I can drive you home."

  "I just needed a second." His voice is back to forceful, still quiet, but the car stops shaking.

  "Where do you want to go?" I ask. Maybe he'll be more comfortable if he chooses what to do.

  "You said shopping."

  "I was being an ass."

  "Yeah, but it's one of the few things to do. Were you serious about needing new clothes?"

  "Yeah, but you don't have to…"

  "Let's get it over with."

  My body is steady. My reaction time is back to normal, but something is still wrong. A general discomfort that I can't pin down. Yesterday I thought that it was a lingering effect of a dress done up too tight and sore feet from wearing high heels, but I'm wearing my favourite outfit. Everything fits perfectly. It wasn't there when I was in his body. Maybe I'm sick and the body swapping is unreted. Incubation periods are weird. It could be cognitive bias and I've harassed him for nothing.

  I'll have to ask him about it if we switch again today. A big if, honestly. I don't want him to run away from me, but I don't want to hurt him. I like seeing how he reacts when he's in my body, but I don't want him to cry.

  "There's an alternative fashion store here. Mind if we go in?" I ask him.

  "Do you like the clothes there?"

  "Yeah, they're comfortable, and practical. An uncommon combination for women's clothing." I can see he's starting to feel uneasy. His leg starts bouncing again. "You don't have to--" I put my hand on his arm to try to reassure him, and my sentence is cut short.