Chapter 217 - fession Day

  Kinue:

  Today is the day. Finally, the long-awaited day. Ever since I realized how much I care for Nathan, I’ve been preparing for this moment—the one where I’d finally share what I feel. We demi-humans are different from humans when it es to love. Our desire springs from something deeper, something more tied to the soul, while humans… perhaps they’re drawn more to the body first? I ’t say for sure. I’ve read tless romanovels trying to uand how human minds work when it es to love.

  For us, love is about partnership and trust. It’s allowing someoo see who we really are, to uand and appreciate us. To trust ao the point of being vulnerable at their side—that’s deeply instinctual. Perhaps it es from our beast side. To sleep together, to share the same den, means trusting enough to let down uard, like a wolf lying peacefully o another, unafraid of attack. Love, for us, is exactly that: trusting someone so deeply that you give yourself pletely.

  Since I met him, Nathan has been my one-wolf pack. He takes care of me, listens attentively, gives advice, and stands by my side even in my darkest moments. That’s what drew me to him, what made my admiration turn into something more. He was my first friend and the one person I could trust without hesitation.

  “Natha know any of this. He’s human… and I don’t know how humans fall in love. I’ve tried everything, read so many books, but I still don’t uand…” I murmured, gazing at my refle in the mirror, as if seeking some ahat might help.

  My eyes reflected doubt, and my ears drooped slightly in discement. I tried to uand this feeling, something that was so clear iories, but in real life, it seemed to slip through my fingers. Every romance I read spoke of humans and their restless hearts, of fleeting gnces and unsaid words. But it all felt distant, like I was trying to decipher an unknown nguage.

  I sighed, running my fihrough my hair thten it. “Maybe he’ll never realize…” I whispered, almned but with a tiny spark of hope. “Or maybe he’s already noticed, and his silence was the answer…”

  “He’s more elf than human… maybe that’s why.”

  I thought about everything I’d learned from reading over the years, and ohought suddenly washed over me.

  What if he only likes elves? If that’s the case, I’m lost…

  By human standards, I know I’m attractive and that my appearaches people’s attention, but none of that matters. I don’t want to catyone’s eye but his.

  I sighed, taking the box of chocotes I’d bought for him out of my ste bracelet. I held it for a moment, looking at the carefully chosen packaging, and a knot formed in my throat.

  Sihe day Nathaered the academy, I started ting the days on my dar. I marked eae, even knowing that special date was still far off. He has no idea how anxious and nervous I’ve been for this moment. No clue of the tless books I’ve read, trying to uand how humans experiehis feeling called passion. And now, after all this, I’m going to give up.

  I put the box ba my bracelet, feeling a weight settle in my chest.

  “My best friend loves my best friend,” I murmured, tasting the bitterness of the truth. “I love them both… they’re my family. I ’t hurt Chloe… I don’t have the heart to do that to her.”

  I looked at my refle in the mirror. There was something broken in my gaze, a hidden sadness.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, more to myself than to anyone else. “I spent all this time trying to be beautiful, trying to be someoeresting, and in the end… all that effort was for nothing.”

  I sat on the bed, feeling the weight of my decision, a quiet mencholy spreading through me.

  “I just want them to be happy,” I whispered, as if sharing a secret with the wind. “Even if that means I’ll be left feeling sad.”

  What else is there to do but stay by their side… and hope they’ll always be my friends.

  I’ve had this versation with myself so many times tely. Ever since I realized Chloe’s feelings for Nathan, everything started falling into p a different way. To me, they were always just cousins, but now, it’s as clear as daylight that she sees him in a whole new light.

  Leaving the room, I touched my ste bracelet instinctively, as if seeking fort from it.

  Nathan, you’ll always be my first and only love. I’ll stay by your side and Chloe’s, proteg you both, as I promised. And because of that… I ’t hurt my friend. You’ll never know how much I love you, and that thought eats away at me… because if I ever lose you, I know it will hurt more than I imagihe irony? The pain is already here, even before anything has happened.

  For a moment, a bittersweet smile crossed my face. “It was o imagine, even if just for a sed, that there might be somethiween us… but that kind of thing only happens in stories. In real life, a oner doesn’t meet her prince.”

  Chloe Evenhart:

  The day had arrived. Finally, the long-awaited day. I’ve known Nate for ten years, and holy, I ’t even pinpoint when I started to like him. I was so young, and I ’t remember exactly when it began, but to me, it feels like I’ve always had feelings for him.

  “Do I look pretty?” I asked myself, gazing into the mirror. I was trying on a few outfits for athering after css, when we’d go to the restaurant with the others. I wao look a little… attractive for him.

  Just a little? No… I want to look very attractive, I thought, ughing to myself.

  Today is the st day of school before the month-long break.

  “Today is Chocote Day…” I murmured, holding the box of chocotes I’d prepared for him.

  I’d hand him the box and make my fession.

  I started thinking about how I’d say everything. I po talk about all the moments we’ve shared, all the times I wao hug him, but he always seemed to shy away. Since I was eleven, I’ve tried to make him see how much I care, but he always seemed to dodge it.

  He has no idea how many times I’ve tried to open up, only for him to ge the subject.

  Just the thought of his face made me blush.

  “Darn it… Nate…” I mumbled, throwing myself onto the bed and hiding under a pillow.

  Do I really have to face him? Just the thought makes me embarrassed. Maybe I fess by asking him to look the other way?

  I ughed at the thought.

  He’s my fiancé, though he doesn’t know that yet.

  Nate is someone I’ll have to keep an eye oalented and handsome… I’ll have to be careful of any girl who gets close. Thankfully, Cyl is always nearby.

  I started thinking about the future.

  We’re already engaged and practically adults. We’re both fifteen… maybe we could get married soon?

  I got up, feeling my face flush.

  Not that I’m rushing anything… It was just curiosity.

  I went back to tidying up my uniform, trying to focus.

  “Besides, I don’t have to wait to do ‘that’ anyway. Wheime is right, I’ll make it happen. I just he ideal setting. I’m definitely not doing it in the castle… or at the academy either.”

  Maybe I could lure him on a ‘mission’ in the duchy… and lead him right into a trap?

  I ughed again at the thought.

  “Kinue…” I murmured, thinking of my friend who’d always been by my side. A bittersweet feeling washed over me; I didn’t want to hurt her.

  I just have to accept it… I thought, trying to muster the ce.

  You, as his sed wife. Maybe at first, I’ll feel a quiet pang of jealousy, a small sense of disfort, but… you deserve happioo.