Daniel Peterson

  I remember waking in the back of a moving truck. I was in a bed with an IV strapped to my arm. The whole place looked like an ambulance but bigger. It was all white and plastic. Overhead, an annoying light buzzed down, preventing me from drifting back off to sleep. My thoughts were slow and hazy. I could still think, but it was like everything was slowed down.

  I tried to move, but I didn’t have the strength. I glanced over, and I saw my left arm was a stump. It took me a minute to process what I was seeing. I could still feel my arm. I could still feel curling my fingers… but they weren’t there. It was so wrong, and I should’ve been freaking out about it. But it just didn’t seem real.

  This was all a dream, a passing dream. I would wake up back at the Defenders’ Tower. I would get dressed in my stupid costume, get yelled at by Walter, and pine after Sarah.

  Sarah.

  There was a face I desperately wished to see again, but all I saw was Jayne. He was standing over me. His lips were moving, but I couldn’t quite make out the words. I remembered I was supposed to be angry at him for something, but I couldn’t remember what. He moved over to adjust something, and a few seconds, my thoughts got clearer.

  It was still hard to focus, but I wasn’t as dazed as I was before. I saw Jayne again. He looked just as haggard as when I met him before, but he had a pained smile on his face.

  “How…?” I tried working my very dry mouth.

  He reached over and held a glass of water to my lips. I drank thirstily, but it hurt to drink.

  “You’ve been out for the better part of two days. You went through the meat grinder kid, but we have people to fix that. About your arm though, well, that’s going to be a bit harder…”

  I looked over again, and I began to hyperventilate. I tried pushing off of the bed, but my body still wasn’t working right. Images began flashing in my head, memories came back. Jayne. Jayne was working with Seattle Vance. Why? And Mason…

  I gritted my teeth as I looked at Jayne helpless. I tried clenching my fist, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t there.

  Jayne looked at me with hurt pity. He put a hand on my shoulder. “Calm down, kid. You’re safe. That’s what matters.”

  I tried to teleport away. That was the panic button. That was the thing that always worked. It was the thing that never failed me, not once. It always got me out of trouble, out of every bad situation I found myself in.

  But I couldn’t. My vision was practically swimming. Something they pumped in my blood was keeping me from concentrating.

  I couldn’t run away.

  Jayne sighed, knowing some of what I was going through. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt in the operation.”

  Operation? Jayne was a chaperone. He didn’t have an operation. At least, not that I knew of. But here I was, in a strange truck being carted off to who knows where.

  A guilty look crossed his face. “I wanted to tell you—for a long time actually. But there were just too many risks, and the leadership above me prohibited it. This had to be done very quietly and completely off the radar. If any trace of it was linked back to us…”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Leadership? What? I shook my head, not understanding anything he was saying.

  “I… work for the Index,” Jayne explained.

  “You’re a… terrorist?” I mouthed the words, confused.

  “Heh, it seems everyone’s a terrorist in the Democratic Union.” Jayne took off his fedora and held it to his chest. “No, the Index are brokers. We connect the powerful with the people who can do things they can’t be caught doing, people with powers like yourself.”

  “But… Vance…”

  “Seattle Vance was an independent. He doesn’t work for me. Alongside his other job, I hired him to get you out of there.”

  I panted heavily in anger. “He… nearly killed me.”

  “Yes, he did.” Jayne replied. “He was acting on his own. Had it been done my way—”

  “What about Mason!?” I spat.

  Another guilty look crossed Jayne’s face. “They found Adam Mason dead. I’m sorry about that, but he never did have much time left.”

  I was downright furious. I should’ve been there. I thought we were going to go out together, or at least, I thought I was going to be there. Except Vance had snatched me away at the last second. And Jayne wasn’t even Jayne anymore. He was some super secret power broker. I had known him for years and only now I was finding this out!?

  Jayne saw my anger, and he did genuinely look saddened by it. “This was the only way to save you, son. Hate me for that if you want. I don’t have any regrets about what I did, besides you getting hurt, that is.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me… before?” I asked, still seething. “We were friends. You could’ve trusted me.”

  “Because that would’ve put you at risk. The only thing more dangerous than being a mole is being the person next to him. But that doesn’t matter anymore. The important thing right now is that, as far as the Registry and City 57 are concerned, you died during the attack on the regional headquarters. The heat is off you. Walter thinks your dead. And before you ask about The Urban Defenders, yes, they think you are dead too.”

  Fuck that. I had to go tell Sarah—

  Jayne interrupted my thoughts. He knew me too well. “The Urban Defenders made a comeback, by the way. They became the city’s heroes when they disobeyed orders and began rescue efforts. The team has been saved. Sarah is safe.”

  He leaned in, and I saw nothing but sincerity and concern on his face. “You got lucky—real lucky. This was the best possible outcome for everyone. Walter hushed up your betrayal. As far as the world cares, The Urban Defenders have a clean record, and they’re willing to keep it that way. However, if the ASA or the greater public ever discovers that you’re alive and well…” He let that threat hang in the air for a moment.

  I knew what he was putting down. It wasn’t just me who would suffer the consequences of my choices. If I dragged The Urban Defenders’ name back down into the mud, they too would pay the price for it.

  “So what am I supposed to do?” I gritted my teeth.

  “Get better. Rest up and think on things. You now have a lotta time, kid. Don’t waste it. And when you’re ready to make your choice, I’ll be waiting.”

  “What choice?” I asked, shaking my head. I was barely keeping up with bombshell after bombshell. What else was there to say?

  “The way I see it, you have two options. You can choose the quiet and easy life. You can go to Panama and keep your head down for the rest of your days. Meet another girl, set down roots, the good life. And I would very much like to see you live that life. It’s a lot better than what men like me get to live.”

  “And what’s door number two?” I asked.

  Jayne looked hesitant to say it. And I got the feeling this wasn’t the option he wanted me to choose. “Door number two is that you join the Index. You’re a powerful asset, and you won’t be overlooked. I tell you this because you ought to know the Index isn’t just a brokering organization. There are people who are building something, a real future. There’s more to the world than the Democratic Union.”

  “And what’s so bad about that?” I tried to understand why he was so hesitant.

  “Because people in our business don’t live very long. And of those who do, we don’t get happy endings. I don’t want you to end up as someone like me. But you ought to know because you deserve to make that choice.”

  “I-I,” I stuttered for words. “I… can’t…”

  Jayne put his hand on mine. “You don’t have to worry about it now. Rest up. Think on things. This truck is currently headed south to City 13. From there, we’ll set you up in a safehouse until you can make a decision. After that, it’ll be all up to you.”

  I was tired. I was so very tired. I looked up at the swaying lights overhead. I didn’t want to make any hard choices right now. I just wanted to sleep. And I so desperately wished I could’ve said goodbye to Adam one last time.