Chapter 025　 The nourishment for her life.

  *

  The car turned onto a side road where some remaining cherry blossoms still clung to the trees. The wheels constantly stirred up the scattered petals on the road, causing them to flutter briefly before settling back down.

  Su Xian suddenly realized her silence was making the atmosphere tense, so she quickly said, "I completely failed to think of buying you a gift then. I'm really sorry."

  "You certainly don't need to buy me a gift. From start to finish, it was my wishful thinking. You don't like me; you were just playing with me, much like amusing a puppy you meet on the street."

  She wanted to explain and say "that's not true," but felt that since things had reached this point, she shouldn't complicate matters further. She opened her mouth but said nothing.

  "Actually, the reason I came to see you today is that I have something to confess. Team Leader, please pull over and park the car."

  *

  The small street-side park was deserted at night. A "Wet Paint" sign stood beside a yellow bench, so the two had to stand beneath a tree.

  The word "confess" made Su Xian very uneasy.

  Li Chengshi was also nervous, but he had made up his mind that he had to tell her tonight. "The incident that night on Youlu Island was actually caused by me feeding you poisonous mushrooms."

  ?

  !

  Seeing Su Xian's astonished expression, Li Chengshi explained the situation in detail, expressing deep apologies for intentionally concealing the truth out of fear that she would report him to the police, and for pretending to be the victim in front of her.

  Su Xian froze, then let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I knew my tolerance for alcohol wasn't that bad. So, it was hallucinogenic mushrooms."

  "Are you going to report me to the police?" he asked nervously.

  "How could I! Just consider it a random fling."

  "Then will you tell Engineer Zhao to remove me?"

  "Of course not!" Su Xian reassured him. "Did you tell me because you were prepared to be removed? If it were me, I would absolutely never risk revealing the truth before the opportunity was secured. So, Li Chengshi, you truly are a very honest good kid. Continue studying Japanese and get the chance to go there. Don't worry, I won't make things difficult for you over there. If you feel awkward, it won't be too late to switch to another company once you've gained experience."

  "Team Leader, I..." He looked like he wanted to cry.

  Su Xian smiled, "It's nothing. I'm a good person too, though just a basic model."

  *

  "Let's go. I'll take you home."

  This should be the last time, Su Xian thought, turning to walk back to the car.

  "Team Leader, wait."

  "Is there anything else you want to say?" She looked at him gently.

  "That day on the snow slope, you said I had a lot of 'colorful thoughts' in my head. I got very angry, partly because you were right, and I was a bit mortified, but the rest was truly serious. Even though it's all in the past, I hope that when you occasionally think of me in the future, your impression is that this guy liked me, not that he just wanted to sleep with me."

  Su Xian felt a touch of emotion. "I apologize. I myself lost my innocent mindset and started seeing everyone in a vulgar light. You must have been very hurt then, right?"

  "It's all in the past."

  Su Xian nodded. It's all in the past, and there's no opportunity to make amends.

  "Also, I don't accept your suggestion to maintain a 'purely physical relationship'. It's not because I look down on you, but my thinking isn't advanced enough. However, there are a lot of bad men out there, Team Leader. You should be more cautious in the future."

  Su Xian felt a prickle in her nose, but she carefully controlled her emotions and only said, "Thank you, Li Chengshi."

  **

  During the May Day holiday, she first spent two days sleeping to catch up.

  The function of her shoulder and arm had fully recovered. Su Xian resumed exercising and found a Sanda (Chinese kickboxing) gym, planning to start training next week. For no other reason than that she had met Mrs. Ono once in Hokkaido. She did not have the gentle, good-wife-and-wise-mother demeanor that Su Xian had imagined Zhao Nanfeng would marry. Instead, she seemed rather calculating and deep. In case Zhao Nanfeng caused any trouble that involved her, she hoped to be able to defend herself if Mrs. Ono brought people to confront her, especially since they would be in a foreign country, which was unsettling.

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  She also needed to intensify her Japanese studies. Since she could no longer rely on Li Chengshi for practical matters of live, she needed to prepare as much as possible.

  The two shawls and the Li Chengshi doll were all placed in her bookcase. When tired from studying, she would spin her chair around for a quick look. She still felt a small sense of warmth inside. Although she had decided to be brave and was prepared to accept or seek out love, for a 34-year-old woman whose life revolved around her career, the opportunities weren't abundant. This little interlude would likely be the nourishment for her life for a long time to come.

  **

  Liang Wenya interviewed over twenty designers and finally hired two.

  "The salaries of both of them together don't even add up to your pay," she teased Su Xian.

  "Hmph, but the two of them combined can't do the work of just me."

  "Then hurry up and teach them."

  "I won't. If things don't work out with Zhao Nanfeng, I'll have to come back. If I teach them everything, where will I go then?"

  Despite saying that, she seriously taught them everything they needed to know. The two young designers, Xiao Zhou and Xiao Wu, were 26 with only three years of work experience. Although she wasn't as exceptional as Zhao Nanfeng, she was more than enough to teach them. They were constantly expressing gratitude, their attitude was humble, their flattery was sweet, and they provided high emotional value. This made Su Xian question Liang Wenya's hiring standards.

  Liang Wenya just smiled and said, "I've never changed. I chose you back then because you were good at flattering me."

  *

  During a break, Xiao Zhou and Xiao Wu asked Su Xian for fitness guidance in the gym area. They were deeply impressed to see her do pull-ups with one arm. Hearing that she was practicing Sanda, they eagerly asked to visit the gym with her to observe and learn.

  "My coach would love for me to bring people to observe," Su Xian was also pleased.

  "That's great! Team Leader, can you give us both a shoulder throw then?" Xiao Wu sounded excited.

  "No problem!"

  The structural department was nearby. Lao Zhang glanced back at them a few times and said to Li Chengshi, "Engineer Su's quite attractive to her little fanboys."

  Li Chengshi "hmm'd" without saying anything, but a strange sense of annoyance welled up inside him.

  That day, he had mustered the courage to finalize the breakup and said a lot of things he truly felt, yet she hadn't shown any sign of being heartbroken. Since returning to work, she was full of energy and smiles every day. Clearly, she hadn't taken him seriously at all! Recalling how she not only didn't refuse ambiguity but, when forced to declare, proposed to "maintain a purely physical relationship," it was clear she was unwilling to invest any emotion—a textbook heartbreaker!

  The more he thought about it, the angrier he became!

  But he was the one who had proactively cut ties completely. To bring it up again now would be childish and unreasonable, and he couldn't afford to lose face.

  Whenever their work occasionally overlapped, he carefully controlled his emotions, maintaining a cold, distant, yet perfectly courteous attitude.

  *

  In Su Xian's view, she simply felt that he still disliked her. But that was normal. If you offer a "purely physical relationship" to a young man who fantasizes about pure love, what he might hear is a "dirty physical relationship." How could he not be devastated? He even specifically told her, "I'm not looking down on you," but saying that is looking down on her.

  However, she didn't regret saying what she did. That experience was not a shameful secret for her. Even now, if she were willing to date Li Chengshi, she wouldn't deliberately conceal it for fear of losing him.

  **