Keid smoke wafted down the hall and drew Erador toward the library. His attention perked at the sound of voices and a coin flipping into the air. He slowed his steps to listen.

  “They were gone for days,” Breck said. “This is why we can’t involve them.”

  Erador moved into the library. “Involve me in what?”

  The coin dropped and rolled, landing between Erador’s feet. He picked it up and brushed his thumb across the stamped anchor in the silver.

  “Where did you get this?” Erador said.

  “None of your business.” Breck ripped it from him. He rammed into Erador’s shoulder as he marched out of the library.

  Hawth leaned against a bookshelf smoking. His hopes that Dethil would be here instead, turned into regret.

  “What can’t I be involved in?” Erador asked.

  “Finding the ingredients for the spell.” Hawth pulled the leef from his lips. “He said you’re too unreliable.”

  Erador felt like he was the only one trying to keep this town together. Hawth faltered when he put the leef back in his mouth, not meeting his gaze, which made Erador suspect he was lying. He didn’t want to be involved with him or Breck. He wanted to break Yuni’s brooch anytime he saw her and end all of this.

  He moved closer. “Why does Yuni wear that brooch?”

  “I’m supposed to know?” Hawth said. “It’s probably some witch thing.”

  “You know something and you won’t admit it.”

  “I haven’t seen Yuni since we were kids. She left to some witch school and hadn’t contacted Baubie or me since.” Hawth walked past Erador to the table. “It’s weird that she showed up here claiming to know how to save Judgment.”

  “You think she’s telling the truth?”

  “I don’t know,” Hawth said, staring into the candle’s flame on the table. “We were close when we were kids. After she left… I thought she didn't care about me anymore.” He pinched the end of his leef to douse it as he moved to a chair. “Since she came, she hasn’t said anything to me. It’s like I don’t exist.”

  “Sounds like she wants to cut ties to her past,” Erador said.

  Hawth dropped in a chair. “I wish I could.”

  “She saw your mother die too?”

  Hawth nodded and set his leef on the table. “She was a lot closer to Baubie than I was. I think he wishes I left instead.”

  From the weakness in his voice, it sounded like he didn’t hate his father as much as he claimed. Sibling rivalry was something Erador could never understand. Baubie was warmer to his son. Erador couldn’t shake away the emptiness. How different it must be to have a father like that.

  Erador moved around the table. “Do you have other family?”

  “No.” He nudged his leef on the table. “But Baubie's not my real pa. He took us in after my ma died.”

  “He knew her?”

  “I don’t think so.” He sighed and slid down in the chair. “It wasn’t fun being with Baubie. He traveled a lot, and sometimes he was on the run. He would deal with some of the worst kinds of people to make money. I’d be joking if I said someone wanted to kill me only once.”

  Erador leaned his hands on the table. “That’s why you came here.”

  “It was the first time I got to stay in one place for more than a two weeks.” Hawth laughed lightly and scratched his head. “Sometimes Baubie did heroic things that didn’t make him seem like some black market dealer who only cared about money. Sometimes it would lead us to be in danger and I hated him for it.”

  “He cares about you.”

  Hawth shrugged. “It’s hard to believe that when he always put everything else first.”

  Erador smile slightly. “He wouldn’t have threatened me, if he didn’t.”

  “I guess not,” Hawth whispered.

  “Aren’t you worried what Yuni will do?”

  Hawth’s eyebrows drew together as he looked at him. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she was pretending to be some healer for money or to hide.”

  “From what?”

  Hawth shrugged. “Maybe she got in trouble. I mean… Baubie did raise us.”

  “Sounds as bad as my father.”

  Hawth laughed and stroked his fang earring. “What are you planning on doing with Yuni?”

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  Erador crossed his arms and looked him over suspiciously. “Are you worried about her?”

  “I’m worried about what she might do... if you mess with her.”

  “Should I be scared of breathing in a little crystal vapor? If you didn’t kill Emera, don’t you think Yuni could have? You said yourself you don’t know her.”

  Hawth shrugged. “I don’t see why she would kill her.”

  “If Emera had something to do with letting the Raven out… I can see it,” Erador said. “Maybe Yuni didn’t want her to tell.”

  “I think Emera left because she was tired of it here. Anyone could’ve killed her. I have no reason to do it, but…” Hawth looked Erador over. “You do.”

  “Me?” Erador licked his lip. “I would never do that.”

  Hawth rose from the chair. “The best way to stop her from spreading more lies was to kill her.”

  Erador’s nostrils flared. He wanted to beat the shit out of Hawth for blackmailing him. His talk about Baubie and his sister didn’t seem genuine anymore, not that Erador believed it. Hawth was looking for any way to protect himself and point the blame if he needed to. He had reasons to lie and cover up what he did as the little guard that never seemed to hurt anyone. It only made him further believe that Hawth was the killer. Erador was afraid that everyone would believe he killed Emera, but he resisted yelling because it would only make him look bad.

  Erador left the library and went down the hall, stopping at the main stairwell. He turned toward the room with Judgment’s painting. Inside, Sescina examined the bird mask in the case. Seeing her quelled the steam rising in him and her warm greeting was enough to draw him toward her.

  They watched Judgment's painting in silence. Erador tried not to look at his father for too long, instead counting the number colors on the mask over and over again.

  Sescina stroked her anchor necklace. “It’s hard to let go of him, you know?”

  “Sometimes I think it would be easier.”

  Sescina followed Erador’s gaze to her gloved hand and she hid it around her back. “You say that now…”

  “We already lost him years ago,” Erador said, staring at the painting.

  “But… he’s still here. You mourn what he was.”

  Though her words made his chest quake, he quickly shut it down. “It’s easier to accept his death now instead of lying to yourself that he’ll be that again,” he said, nodding to the painting.

  Sescina looked down. “I’m used to seeing patients suffer, but I never got close. With Lord Judgment… it’s different. I’ve healed him for decades. He’s family and that’s what makes it harder.”

  Erador wanted to refute that but what good would it do? Part of him felt like a fraud telling her to let go, when he still wanted his father to admit his wrongs. He rubbed his neck when the idea of not getting closure was more than possible. He wasn't sure what to do after his death. In some ways he didn’t care, but Sescina didn’t know what it was like to be mistreated by him.

  Sescina touched his arm. “I understand it’s hard for you to say that after what he did.”

  Erador felt like she was reading his mind. He sometimes forget that others knew about the suffering his father inflicted on him. They treated him as if he’d done nothing wrong. No matter how much it hurt Erador, he knew people like Sescina had different experiences with Judgment. He tried to accept that, to bury the bitterness but he couldn’t. He would resent his father until the end.

  Sescina tore her supportive hand from his arm, tucking it to her chest as she lowered her head. “I know it’s difficult to look past that but you have to let go. You have to move on or...” A tear slipped from her face onto the floor before she could wipe it away. “It''ll consume you until every piece of you feels broken and you can’t take it anymore.” More tears fell as she wiped them away, aggressively. “I was there before. I wanted it all to end. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save people."

  Erador’s reached to rub her back, her trembles causing his body to feel like it was sinking. “That’s not your fault.”

  Sescina looked at him with pained, teary eyes. “But it felt like it.”

  “You tried,” Erador said. “You can’t save everyone.”

  Sescina rubbed her nose and nodded. “I know but… sometimes I felt I could’ve done more. I don’t want that to happen to Lord Judgment.”

  “His fate isn’t in your hands. You can’t carry that burden.”

  Sescina went silent and watched the painting. She would always carry that burden like Erador. As a child, Erador wondered how she managed to not cry and stay strong despite having to help the sick and wounded. He had no idea she carried so much pain. Now, the burden was greater, weakening her body and mind for years. If she didn’t save his father, it would be on her.

  She got nothing for her sacrifices, except maybe an occasional thank you. Erador realized he’d grown to expect her to care for his father, taking for granted that Sescina would always be there to ease his suffering and help him live another day.

  “Thank you, Sescina, for helping my father.”

  “It’s nothing.” She waved.

  “No… I don’t say it enough. None of us do. You sacrifice so much for my father… and for us.”

  Sescina gave an appreciative nod.

  He couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he saw why she had faith in Yuni.

  “If it wasn’t for Lady Absolution… I wouldn’t be here.”

  Erador cocked his head. “She helped you?”

  “She saved me. I thought she was a god at first.” Sescina laughed through a pained smile. “Her presence was mesmerizing. If she didn’t convince me to get off that bridge...”

  Erador looked at the red curtain where Absolution's painting was supposed to be. Sometimes he forgot that people like Sescina, Loma, and Eli knew her more than he got to.

  “She told me I had a purpose. Lucrethia gave me that and more.”

  “When my father is gone...”

  Sescina smiled weakly and touched the anchor necklace. “I guess I’ll have to find a new one. It could be… pestering you to find one for yourself. Maybe a certain someone,” she said, nudging his side.

  Erador pushed his tongue in his cheek. “Let’s not go there again.”

  “I’m sure you can find something to do besides yelling at your father. You have a good head on your shoulders. I’m sorry your father can’t see that. You know, Lady Absolution told me she had a hard time getting through to Lord Judgment and he valued her highly. So… all those times you’ve tried, know it’s not you. Your father is hard to break.”

  Erador’s face dropped. “I don’t know that he can be.”

  Sescina sighed. “Maybe not but… I doubt it’s easy going from a strong leader to… what he is now. He has his own suffering but sometimes I wonder if it has to do with what Pia told me.”

  Erador’s shoulders perked when her voice trailed to a whisper. “What did she say?”

  “She felt a presence attached to him.” Sescina touched over her heart. “I assumed it’s was his element, but she said it’s strong.”

  “That can’t be. His element should be weak.”

  “Yes, but she said it’s different. Not like an element you or I have. It’s too much for anyone to handle. This usually happens to Harians who just received their element. Their body is not accustomed to that kind of power, so they need time to adjust. They can experience negative symptoms and sores like our Lord but smaller usually, not as many, and they heal with treatment.”

  “I thought you’ve helped him.”

  “Orbid is used to draw out some of the element so there's less in the body, but it didn’t work for Lord Judgment. They cracked. All I'm able to do is ease his suffering by making his sores smaller.”

  “Do you think it had something to do with the pendant?”

  “Maybe. As we age our element typically weakens.” Sescina rubbed her fingers across her covered palm. “I’ve even felt that mine isn’t as strong, but out Lord’s never expends.”

  Witch crystals were powerful and Erador saw what they could do. It wasn’t surprising that it affected his father negatively. But what was this energy? Could the magic from the pendant have gone into him like a vesper’s spirit? But instead of him shifting into some being, it was hurting him.

  Sescina gripped his arm. “Don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want to worry anyone.”

  “I won’t.” Erador watched as she twirled the anchor necklace. “Why are you wearing that?”

  She dropped it. “What?”

  “That,” he said, nodding to the necklace.

  “Oh..” She let out a soft laugh. “It’s to remind me to let go when the time comes.”

  Erador felt like that was directed toward him, even though Sescina didn’t hint it. Maybe she got that from Eli.