Eventually, they emerged into a different cellar to the one they’d arrived in, but they didn’t immediately ascend through the building. It was brighter here, little hints of light peeking in from the gaps in a rickety old wooden door at the top of a staircase. They waited as they adjusted, but still remained once Lucas could see. It seemed they were waiting for him to make the first move. Instead, he took a moment to just… breathe.

  The cellar was empty, every surface covered in a thin film of dust. The room itself was barely wider than the staircase; he wouldn’t have been able to stretch his arms to full length in each direction. It was strangely tall, though, easily twice his height with little cubbies cut into the walls like shelves. They’d emerged from the back wall, and it was like walking into another of the corridors, just with a little more light. A markedly odd place, but that matched with his current mood somewhat, so he didn’t hate it.

  In truth, Lucas felt like he was living a dream-like bizarro world. His mind just couldn’t make sense of the fact he’d killed someone, no matter how he rationalised it. A matter of months ago, he’d been a relatively normal guy, all things considered. A regular student in a medium-sized city in England. Much fitter than average, and he’d always done well enough on tests, but he’d always thought he was destined for a simple life, even if he hadn’t known what shape that would take, yet.

  It wasn’t even necessarily guilt hitting him now—it was something more like sheer disbelief. The idea that he’d find himself killing another human being had never even occurred to him back on Earth. It seemed so far outside the realms of possibility back then. Not worth considering. Not even for a second.

  Honestly, he was starting to wonder if it would have been better to just let the ‘first time’ come in the heat of battle, because at least in that case he would have had the immediate aftermath to distract him. Now, he’d been alone with his thoughts on their trek through the underground passageways beneath Dawnguard, and he couldn’t stop dwelling on the surreality of it all. Him. Lucas Brown. A killer. Anyone who’d known him back on Earth probably would’ve laughed at the concept. He’d never been a pushover by any means, but he wasn’t the macho guy who went around starting fights, either.

  But then, what would anyone from back home have said about Jamie, Rian, Aarya, or Claire? They didn’t seem the killing type, either. Or world-saving heroes. This situation would forge a new person out of anyone, and he was no different. He saw the future stretching out before him now, clearer than ever before. In a paradoxical way, the surreality of the day brought the oncoming reality into greater clarity.

  And in it, he saw himself. Wielding a sword, aiming a bow, holding a shield, waving a wand. A path lined with corpses stretched out behind him, with the Demon Lord and his forces still arrayed ahead.

  It wasn’t a nice thought. But it was his reality. Ser Nial would be far from the last man to die at Lucas’ hand, and he had no choice but to face that. Unremarkable as he thought himself to be, he at least fancied he had the courage to forge forward, as long as he knew he’d be reunited with his friends. That was what mattered.

  Lucas reached within his cloak, letting the tips of his fingers trace the outline of the little wooden box he’d placed in one of the cloak’s inner pockets. He couldn’t bring himself to leave the compass behind. It told him Jamie was out there somewhere, and the temptation to go follow it was horribly enticing at that moment, for a multitude of reasons.

  Not least of which was the upcoming violence he’d unleashed on Dawnguard. “So, how do we play this?” Lucas asked. “I assume the Order will want to put together some kind of official operations to suppress this group.”

  Valerie and Florence had been watching him in silence, and they exchanged a look at his words.

  “First, we’ll pass on our information to Meyah, Master of Security,” Valerie said slowly. “It’s her job to gather intelligence related to such things. And she’ll have a greater picture of the factions manoeuvring within the city, and what resources the Order have to deal with them. She won’t be the only one making decisions, but her input will have a large influence on what groups are prioritised.”

  “Will we be able to get ourselves assigned to it?” Lucas asked.

  Valerie watched him for a moment, icy eyes inscrutable. “We can try to make it happen, if that’s what you wish.”

  “It is,” Lucas said. “I’m involved directly with this group now. I feel obligated to see it through to the end, make sure I keep my word that the people Ser Nial cares—cared about are given the chance to surrender.”

  “It’s good that you recognise they may not cooperate,” Valerie said.

  “Can’t exactly expect people who’d join a group like that to be reasonable, can I?” Lucas said dryly. He shrugged. “I’m not going to put myself in danger out of obligation to a man who’ll never know the difference, but I’ll at least try to let his people leave with their lives. In an ideal world, we manage to sniff out all this New Dawn group’s plots and foil them before anyone gets hurt. But I’m not expecting it to go that way.”

  Valerie nodded.

  “And how are you feeling about all this?” Florence asked. There was no gentleness to her voice. She wasn’t acting like he was going to blow up at any moment. Which he appreciated, he supposed.

  “It’s… it is what it is,” Lucas said with a helpless shrug. “How did you two feel after your first time killing a person?”

  Valerie and Florence exchanged a look. For some reason, Valerie’s lips twitched like she was trying not to smile. “My circumstances were rather different than yours, Lord Lucas. For one thing, I was a child.”

  “Ah,” Lucas said, feeling like an idiot. Part of him wanted to turn back and lock himself in the underground now.

  “It's not quite so traumatic as you might be imagining, though I admit things got a lot worse immediately after, to the point I didn't dwell on the first very much.”

  “That sounds pretty bad,” Lucas said

  Florence was grimacing as she watched her comrade in silence.

  Valerie didn't seem to notice. She tilted her head, gazing off to the side towards the wall, but clearly not seeing it, instead watching something far distant. “It was a guard from my town. I didn’t know him well, and his name has long escaped me now, as most of them have. I had been declared missing, and there was a grand search out for me. The thing I remember most is the look of relief on his face when he found me. There was a gap in his teeth when he smiled, and his shoulders slumped like he’d just dropped something heavy. My memory is somewhat blurred. Next thing I knew, my hands were buried in his chest. Lady Claire says my recollection may be inaccurate, but I believe she was merely trying to soften the blow that I’d killed almost everyone I ever knew and loved when she was telling me that.”

  Lucas drew in a shuddering breath. “Fucking hell, Valerie. You say that’s not traumatising?”

  “I didn’t say it’s not traumatising.” She frowned, still staring at the wall. “Just that my first kill wasn’t so traumatic as you might be imagining; I knew the man, but he wasn’t particularly close to me, compared to others. It could have been much worse. Honestly, I haven’t dwelt on him much. Other things to think about.”

  Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  Even Florence’s eyes were wide. “My first kill was a bandit leader who liked to cut off the ears of his victims as trophies, when we were in the academy,” she said.

  “Ah, yes. I remember that,” Valerie said.

  “You should talk about these things more, Val,” Florence said.

  “Why? Bringing up these memories just causes me great distress, and, in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s generally agreed that I should avoid excess emotion as much as possible.”

  “That’s not healthy, and not fair on you.”

  “Gotta agree there,” Lucas murmured, feeling thoroughly guilty for even thinking his first kill merited any kind of consideration from these women, at this point. Even Florence’s had to be far worse than his. The Academy, she’d said. Technically, there was no age limit on the place, but she seemed to be the same age as Valerie, and they’d gone up through the ranks together.

  Fucking hell, he thought. This world was a cruel place.

  He shook his head as if to dislodge all these dark thoughts, and took a step forward, gesturing for his companions to lead on. It wasn’t fair to them to dredge up all these dark memories for the sake of comforting him in his time of self-pity. “Let’s get back,” he said.

  Thankfully, they complied without complaint.

  Night had fallen when they found their way back to street level. Poles with dim crystals hanging from them acted as street lights, doing a surprisingly good job of fighting off the darkness. The building they emerged from was a smaller one by the standards of Dawnguard, standing at a measly five stories of pale wood and red stone. They had to navigate through some kitchens and a now-empty dining hall on their way to the exit, but they encountered no one. The street they found themselves on was quieter, practically a back-alley compared to the main road they’d travelled earlier.

  Florence took the lead once more, leading them on a winding route that Lucas figured was meant to avoid the area of the tavern they’d entered what felt like a lifetime ago. They didn’t want to encounter Nial’s friends right now. It felt like it would be a bit of a dick move if they ended up having to kill the very people Lucas had implicitly promised to spare that very same night. They had to rejoin the road to get through the gate into the inner ring of the city, but by then the risk wasn’t as high. The Moontower loomed in the distance, its barrier shimmering in the air like a luminescent silk curtain. Interestingly, from this perspective, travelling up the Road of the Star, a bright star twinkled just beyond the Moontower’s very tip.

  Curious, Lucas asked about it. Valerie seemed lost in thought, so it was Florence who replied after a second of hesitation, “I’m not as well read on folklore as I should be, so I can’t give an in depth explanation, but it’s known as the Morning Star. The story goes that it always leads travellers back to Mornlunn, wherever you are in the world.”

  “And does it?” Lucas asked.

  “Well, I can’t speak for anywhere in the world,” Florence said. “But it was certainly visible north of me when I was on missions to the south of Mornlunn.”

  They were silent the rest of the way back to the tower. Their gait was unhurried, not wanting to draw attention to themselves by looking like they were in a rush or fleeing. Still, Lucas felt more and more eyes on them as they walked, raising his trepidation, but no one stopped them or called out to them. In fact, they saw no issue until they reached the gates to the Order’s territory itself, where it seemed a crowd still lingered even after sunset. There was no particular hubbub going on, and he could hear no raised voices, but there were definitely at least ten times as many people there now as there had been when they’d set out.

  Once again, he found himself watching the crowd as they passed. He wondered how many of them were there to gather information on the Order for nefarious purposes. He wondered if there was anyone who’d be reporting to New Dawn. What were those leaders Nial had named—Malle, Tym, and Ella—thinking, right now? Were they moving to exploit the situation? Were they panicking, thinking their plans had been exposed and that the Order’s kill squads would be coming for them?

  A vindictive part of him hoped they were scared. The people who’d indirectly forced him to become a killer deserved at least that much.

  They passed through the gates without incident, the guards letting them through after just a glance once they were past the barrier. There were security protocols in place, but they were largely secondary concerns when the barrier was active; they knew anyone who could pass it safely was not hostile to the Order.

  Jam had settled down like a cat after a meal, but now perked up once more, back to alert. Lucas’ heart rate spiked, looking around for some sign of danger, but there was nothing. Not that he could see, anyway. Something about his demeanour must have alerted his comrades, because they closed in on either side of him, at attention.

  “Okay, seriously,” Lucas muttered, keeping his eyes peeled. He jammed a finger at his breastplate over his heart. “You’re gonna need to find some way to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, little buddy.”

  Problem was, he kind of already knew, instinctively, that his bonded companion didn’t even understand what was wrong itself. There was an air of confusion to its alarm, now. If it didn’t know what to make of its hypervigilance itself, how could he hope to puzzle it out?

  A grimace pulled at his lips as they approached the Moontower proper, navigating through the small maze of support buildings and courtyards. He could really do with a place where he felt totally safe right now, and Jam’s inexplicable guarded mood was going a long way to ruling the Moontower out.

  “The creature?” Valerie asked.

  Lucas nodded. “Gonna need to look into this, at some point. Sooner rather than later, preferably. Don’t know what exactly has him acting like this, but it’s clear something to do with the Harwyck contingent has him spooked pretty bad, and it’s affecting me through our bond.”

  “I can look into the returnees for anything suspicious,” Florence offered.

  “Discreetly,” Valerie said.

  Florence shot her a sour look that said ‘no shit’ more clearly than if she’d spoken the actual words.

  There were farfewer people in the atrium than usual after sunset, and the cavernous room had a different vibe to it in the dark. The glass ceiling let them see the shining curtain of the barrier hanging above. And the stars beyond, faintly. It made him think of being inside a building with an LED billboard on the outside, with their light facing outwards. By all accounts, it was the most powerful magical shield known to Aerth, created by the greatest wands of their age, updated and built upon by successive legendary figures all the way up until Claire herself.

  He stared up at it for a long time, entranced. His companions waited patiently when they noticed he’d stopped.

  “How long do you think this conflict in the city will last?” he asked them.

  There was a pause.

  “It’s difficult to predict,” Valerie said. “I would hope not too long.”

  “It would depend on us. The Order, I mean,” Florence said. “The factions at work in the city won’t expect us to go on the offensive against them, and they’ll be caught off guard for a while, but they’ll regroup. Some of them we’ll be able to remove in one fell stroke. Others will take more effort.”

  “It’s going to be messy,” Lucas said.

  “It was always going to be, regardless,” Valerie said. “Conflict between the Order and dissident elements has been approaching boiling point for some time, hence why I was investigating Jyn and his group when I encountered you. You should not feel the need to take the blame for this situation.”

  “Not what I was getting it, exactly,” Lucas said. He finally dragged his eyes away from the barrier, looking between Valerie and Florence. “I don’t think all this is my fault, by any means. Just… a moment of doubt. I’m just wondering if the aggressive approach is the right one. Looking at that work of magic up there, it’s hard not to think we’d be much safer hunkering down in here and waiting things out until Claire’s return, you know?”

  “I don’t think that would be tenable, in the long term,” Valerie said. “We’d ultimately lose much more of the population’s faith if we were seen to be hiding away. Groups like New Dawn would gain many more recruits, and we’d simply end up dealing with a far greater problem down the road. No. The best way is to go after these rogue factions and systematically eliminate them so they can no longer pose a threat.”

  “Well, I’d say the best way would be to eliminate the reason for these groups popping up. Make the Order undeniably a force for good and such.” Lucas sighed. “But that’s idealistic crap, because there are too many groups with their own ideas of how things should be, and a lot of their ideas of the future would involve me and my friends being vivisected.”

  Valerie didn’t reply, opting instead to gaze at him in silence.

  “You do not have to involve yourself in the violence directly,” Florence said.

  “No,” Lucas said as he watched a trio of Masters approach from the grand staircase. “I’m going to, though.”

  Discord :)