Intern’s Log: Maybe the World Needs Non-Human Troops After All

  Date: Redacted

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I regret ever asking questions.)

  It’s funny.

  A few months ago, I thought the biggest problem in my life was tracking a few rogue genetic experiments.

  Then it became containing a war-crime raccoon.

  Then stopping a rogue wolf-soldier from leading a revolution.

  Then preventing an international crisis between Russian bears and Chinese panda assassins.

  And now?

  Now I’m sitting in my mother’s dining room, listening to a classified government agent and a psychotic cat discuss how the world is under threat from something worse.

  And the worst part?

  They might actually be right.

  Phase One: The Part Where Eleanor Ruins My Night Even More

  "You’re not cleared for this." Eleanor had said, moments before dropping the single most terrifying sentence I’ve ever heard in my life.

  "They’re not here to eat cats. They’re here to eat something else."

  Silence.

  Mittens’ tail flicked sharply.

  Vicky just watched, ever so entertained.

  The cat-people all exchanged concerned glances.

  My mother? Fully passed out in her chair.

  And me?

  I regretted everything.

  "So," I started, voice deadpan. "You’re saying the planet is actually in danger?"

  Eleanor just gave me a flat look.

  "What do you think?"

  And unfortunately—I thought a lot of things.

  Phase Two: The List of Things I Can No Longer Ignore

  ? We’ve seen… things.

  ? The aliens watching us were disappointed—but not surprised.

  ? Classified research files have been disappearing.

  ? Military operations have been shifting resources toward ‘unusual’ threats.

  ? Vicky has been playing the long game.

  ? Eleanor is involved in something deeper than I ever suspected.

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  And worst of all?

  ? Mittens’ insane conspiracy theories have been right more often than they’ve been wrong.

  And now?

  Now someone else knows it too.

  Phase Three: The Uncomfortable Truth

  "Why haven’t we heard anything about this?" I asked, hands clenched.

  Eleanor sighed, rubbing her temples.

  "Because the last thing the world needs is panic."

  "You let the world panic about everything else."

  "Yes, but we control that panic."

  Oh. Oh great. Fantastic.

  "And the Good Boys?" I asked.

  That’s when Eleanor glanced at Vicky.

  "They were a first attempt," she admitted. "A prototype solution. Not just for war—but for survival."

  My stomach dropped.

  "You’re telling me—"

  Eleanor nodded.

  "Yes, Reynolds." she said calmly. "If the things we suspect are true, then this planet will need non-human troops after all."

  Phase Four: Mittens, Against All Odds, Becomes Relevant

  "I TOLD YOU!" Mittens slammed his paw on the table.

  "YOU MOCKED ME! YOU CALLED ME CRAZY! BUT NOW THE TRUTH IS CLEAR!"

  One of his cat-people nodded sagely.

  "The war council must convene."

  I dragged a hand down my face.

  "This is ridiculous."

  Mittens hissed.

  "No, Reynolds. THIS. IS. WAR."

  And then, in the single worst moment of my entire life, Eleanor nodded.

  "He’s not wrong."

  OH COME ON.

  Phase Five: The Reality I Can No Longer Deny

  Eleanor had already made up her mind.

  Vicky had been waiting for me to realize it.

  Mittens? He was already ready.

  And me?

  I was still playing catch-up.

  Because now, I know what’s coming.

  And worse?

  I know we might actually need every single one of these insane, genetically enhanced, chaos-fueled creatures to survive it.

  Final Thoughts

  ? The war is real.

  ? The world isn’t ready.

  ? The Good Boys were just the beginning.

  ? Mittens—against all reason—is actually useful now.

  ? I am never, ever getting my normal life back.

  I don’t know what happens next.

  But I do know this—

  This war needs soldiers.

  And I?

  I just got drafted.

  End Log.