Revenge is glorious. It truly is. Especially when you don’t have to do anything. In fact, I let Elvis do the talking and Granny Wick did the rest.

  There is a certain satisfaction watching an event like this. I know that men are generally stronger than women, or at least they were before the Advent kicked off, but you wouldn't have guessed that Earl or Mansfield knew it by the way they cowered in front of Granny Wick’s menacing figure. That broad grandma wielded a big ass hard-backed hymnal in one hand and a double sized cast iron skillet in the other, broadcasting her disgust.

  She wasn’t mad. She was disappointed. And that was pointed directly at Earl, Mansfield, Mike, and his wife. They withered in front of her. I was so blown away by her tirade that I thought they were going to physically shrink into dust and blow away. The building itself shook with Granny Wick’s disappointment.

  “I bout’ raised dun’ half of y’all and you tink’ I’mma’ let you sadden the Good Lawd like a dis’?!”

  WHACK!

  “Hard bread and wahtah’! Nuna’ da good stuff till ya pray away this pride and selfishness now heya’!”

  WHACK!

  “I’m mighty surprised the Angels on your shouldas’ hadn’t smote ya down, seeing as how you deal like Ol’ Scratch whicha’ back feet an’ hooves sliding back and sinnin’!”

  WHACK!

  “We gonna beat the good sense back inna’ ya till the Good Lawd Himself returns if that’s what it’s’a’ gonna take!”

  WHACK!

  I didn’t stop it or even try to get a word in. I just sat there and grinned. I let the lady of the house do her work. Elvis tried to hide behind me and Thomas scootched back until he was next to the exit door.

  Granny Wick set her tools of the trade down and slowly sipped a glass of water. “Now, where was I? Ah, yeeees, discipline.” She reached into a drawer and pulled out a long paddle. “Now, I’m going ta’ finish paddlin’ the ladies out of sight of yous’ men but rest assured they won’t a-sit for a week straight when I’m tru- widdem.”

  Her glare made Isabella visibly wilt.

  “Now go-awn and get yer friends. I’ll be there in a few, missy.”

  Isabella stood up and shot out of the room. Granny Wick looked at me, pointing her paddle my way. “You want some discipline too, honey? It’s not right to take pleasure in the pain of others.”

  I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face but I did shake my head. “No mam, just happy to see someone sensible is in charge around here.”

  Elvis laughed but Thomas gulped.

  It didn’t take long for food and water to be placed in front of everybody except for Mansfield and Earl. Granny Wick proceeded to whirlwind around the church kitchen, cleaning and cooking and blessing while listening to me lay out the deal I had worked out with Boris. When I mentioned my suspicions about Lannie coaxing Isabella and the others against me, her face darkened but she didn’t interrupt.

  There must have been something in the air because I couldn’t really stop talking. I spoke about my team, and my wife, and how I envisioned my apocalypse scavenger team to be a tough bruiser team prioritizing survival. How I could prep and arm my team with my Alchemy and control terrain with Earth Magic. Or how Elvis could be our big tank while Paul with his solar powers would function as our big cannon while Thomas could be our utility tank making shields to protect us while saving up kinetic energy to super-sucker-punch monsters. I told her about how useful Mike would’ve been on this team with his psychic hands to trip up enemies and his ‘Shatterpoint’ ability to find difficult weak spots. She even let me lay out the reasons why this was so important to me, having ready access to healers in a convenient location. Before I knew it, I had completely spilled my guts to this lady I barely knew.

  I coughed right at the end and she handed me a metal cup full of water with a few ice cubes in it.

  Thunderclouds crossed my face as I finished my water, my brain catching up to my rebellious mouth. I saw the sheepish look on Mansfield’s face and the pained look on Granny Wick’s.

  The metal cup crumpled in my hand.

  “You did this.” My words were more akin to a pained growl. “That, that was magic. How- why?”

  The metal ball in my hand compressed even more, squealing as my grip tightened.

  Thomas and Elvis snapped out of a daze and they shot to their feet. I held up a hand to forestall any arguments but my glare wiped the color from Mansfield’s face.

  “I see. You’re trying to provoke me. What for?” I said roughly, standing up. “You want me to bring this church down to the ground? For some reason, you don’t want to have a nice, secure building in which to live. Right? Am I misunderstanding your intentions here?”

  Mansfield shot furtive looks at Granny Wick as surprise resolved into anger. Earl reached for his holster but Thomas appeared with a bone blade pointed right at Earl’s throat before he actually touched his gun. The serrated edge had a wicked gleam that was almost crimson in the right light.

  The ball of metal in my hand bent to my will, the metal flowing until it became a small pearing knife. Its edge gleamed in the unnatural light of the church. I gently pressed the tip of the knife into the table to show everyone how sharp it truly was. It sank in as if the table were made of fresh butter.

  “What I don’t understand is, ‘why’? Why do this? Why not just ask me instead of using some kind of mind magic on me to force me to talk?” I gently twisted the knife, carving patterns on the table. “I haven’t threatened you, any of you. All I’ve done is help and you do this?”

  Thomas looked at me. “Bro, I’m backing you up here cause this old dude was reaching for his gun, but why exactly are you mad at the other old dude?”

  I just nodded in Elvis’ direction. My first employee stood there like a boulder blocking out the light, his sheer size imposing on all of us how small and weak we truly are compared to him. He bristled as he took it all in. I didn’t trust Elvis as much as I did my brother, but Elvis had been with me for days, enduring all kinds of apocalypse shenanigans plus I’d saved his life. He knew what was going on.

  “Boss man did his best to set up a working relationship with him and them. Worked his butt off to help people out. And now they do some hoodoo to make the boss talk about us and our plans and strengths and weaknesses?” Elvis’ face darkened and the light seemed to dim as he took a heavy step forward. “Why Granny Wick? Why do this? Why help him?”

  “Dawlin’,” she said, her voice a bit thick. “This ain’t right but these old bones will fix it. I did not know he was going ta’ do this! He said he was gonna get everybody calm, not’ta’ spill yur beans.” Granny Wick took a deep breath but I cut her off.

  “You’re done talking.”

  My gloved hand landed on Mansfield’s neck and I lifted him up so he could face me, my warhammer resting on his shoulder.

  “Fool me once, shame on you.” My weapon poked him in the neck and he turned whiter than the walls. “Fool me twice, shame on me.” I pulled my warhammer back and let it hang loosely near my foot. Leaning forward until he could see the whites of my eyes, I snarled, “There won’t be a third time, bitch.”

  Earl started to move but Thomas’ bone gauntlet covered hand snatched him back. “Don’t think about it, just sit tight.” He said soothingly, as if talking to a rabid dog. “Don’t be dumb. Just take a deep breath.”

  Elvis took another step forward, his focus on Granny Wick. “This isn’t right. You know it’s not right. I want to know why.”

  She pointed at Mansfield who glared in response, not wanting to answer the question. I sighed, giving him a shake while squeezing the sides of his neck. The human body has nerves that run up and down the neck. Pinching those properly with the thumb and middle finger can cause excruciating pain if done correctly. This time, I shook him with some authority.

  “Okay! Okay!” Mansfield cried out, sweating from the fear and the pain. “Our church’s blessing grows stronger the more our congregation grows. More converts, more power and blessings and space to grow!”

  I glared at him, squeezing just a bit harder.

  “It’s true! I swear up on the Book!” Mansfield’s hand slapped his big Bible and both glowed in tune with each other. “The more converts we gain, the larger our blessing extends! Disease is purified! Wounds are healed! Decay is kept at bay! The more we grow, the more each can contribute and in turn, the better we all do!”

  Granny Wick, faster than any of us could respond, walloped him in the head with her thick hand. “Yur a lyin’ dawg!” She snarled, the anger on her face at odds with the kind visage she normally portrayed. “Dese’ are kids! Youngins! Good ones too!”

  My eyes narrowed seeing the split in the church for what it is. The classic power versus kindness, ego vying for supremacy against empathy. It made me sick.

  “So it’s a ponzi scheme.” It finally clicked. Unfortunately, the pieces were coming together, making an odd kind of sense. Faith is fuel for these folks. They deal with the true economy of scale, people. It’s not about powers or magic or even winning, it’s about pulling in people.

  Too bad they do have what I need. Dealing with Mansfield felt like negotiating with corrupt doctors or a slick mobster playing the role of a worker’s union rep. They could just as easily do good as they could do some really dark shit. Zealots. Religious fanatics. That’s what I was truly dealing with. Granny Wick is the nice, welcoming face of the church to make everyone feel at home. Mansfield is the slimy snake spouting the feel-good epithets to keep people motivated and Earl is the knife in the dark, the enforcer.

  It all made sense. It did. Which is why it truly surprised me when Mike was the one to stand up and face me.

  “I can fix this.” He said, putting his hands on the table with a slam getting everyone’s attention. “If we can all calm down for a minute, I can actually make everyone happy here.”

  If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Elvis just raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. Thomas went to relax but I gave him a look and he put his bone blade right back on Earl’s neck. The last thing we needed was a scuffle in the church kitchen.

  Mike’s wide eyes held no deceit but I let him stew for a minute. My mind flickered back over our history. He’s always been a good neighbor, returned my tools after borrowing and helping me out if I needed it and vice versa. Our wives got along, if anything, perfect neighbors for us.

  “Okay. I’ll bite.” I said, letting my hand drop down. “Please tell me what’s worth the loss of three healers, your assistance on the team, plus being treated like an enemy around here after these three acted like our friends.” My fingers drummed on the table. “I gotta hear this. How do we do this without this miserable snake-” I nodded at Mansfield, “meeting his Maker sooner rather than later?”

  Mike turned to Earl. “Is your son Eli still around?”

  Earl’s face took a journey all its own going from taken aback to angry before ending up resigned and yet oddly relieved. At first I thought he was going to put up a fight but then Earl straightened up a bit. I didn’t know if that flash of triumph in his eyes was a trick of the light or if that was just me, but Earl finally uncoiled, relaxing his hands. They clasped in front of his leather belt.

  “He is. Not sure what you want with him.”

  Pastor Mansfield gulped. “He’s perfect! He can heal!”

  “And not much else.” Granny Wick grumbled.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Elvis asked. “We do need a healer.” He pointed my way. “It’s what he bargained for.”

  Granny Wick sighed, her hands kneading each other as if they were thick dough. “I’m sorry there, boys. There’s more to that story than you want to know.” I motioned for her to go on. “But y’all do need ta’. He can heal, Eli that is. But the letter of the lahw’ and the spirit of the lahw’ are two different thangs’.” She gestured at Mansfield. “He wants to give you the healer that can’t do much but also has no faith. And he-” She waved at Earl, “never got along with his adopted son, bless his hart’. So it gets a kid who can’t get along with his father out of our hair and he-” Wick glared at Mansfield, “gets ta’ hand off a problem.”

  Both Mansfield and Earl looked ashamed. But I knew better. This was for my benefit. They wanted me to feel sympathy for this kid I’ve never met while also accepting the deal so they can say that they did in fact oblige me. That part of me that was carefully tucked away, the side of me that secretly enjoyed the violence, the killing of monsters and zombies and pitting myself against the apocalypse, it whispered dark thoughts to me.

  “You won’t miss him.” The little voice said. “Nobody will miss him. Who cares if another monster gets the ax? Everyone will be better off without him. Hell, the church needs a good cleaning out. Start with this scumbag.”

  My gaze hardened as my conscience fought valiantly against the very valid concerns my darker side reasoned with. Cassie, Elvis’ psycho necromancer girlfriend, needed to be put down. Imagine if she’d had a few more days to build an army of undead and mind-controlled people with super powers. Shit. I was looking at her spiritual mirror, just on the other side. Reliving her death was never far away when my head hit the pillow at night.

  I didn’t want more on my conscience if I didn’t have to. Luckily, a plan started to form.

  “Earl,” I said, after thinking it over for a minute or two, “I’d like to meet this son of yours. Let’s see if he can contribute to the team and help fix the shitty impression y’all have had lately.”

  Three minutes of tense waiting later and Mike led in a skinny kid who I knew was around sixteen but looked like he was even younger than that. Short, skinny, no glasses, and clear skin but he was shy as if he used sport big glasses and plenty of teenage acne. Nerd. I was looking at a younger version of me. But weirder than that, he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

  Taken aback there for a second, stepped forward and held my hand out to shake his. My gloved hand enveloped his hand but what I saw made me freeze. Two stubby little glowing swan wings poked out of his shoulder blades.

  My mouth forged ahead of my brain. “Hey kid, nice wings.” Elvis gave my shoulder a light slap. “All right,” I said. “I’ll be nice. Damn. My name is Grant. Mike said your name is Eli?”

  He nodded. “Uh huh, Eli Ward.” Looking furtively around, he shook my hand back before snatching it back and taking in the odd scene around him. We were all watching him like a hawk.

  “Did anyone tell you why you’re here?”

  Eli shook his head.

  I grit my teeth a bit and took a deep breath before sighing with exasperation. “Sorry kid, you’re being offered as a consolation prize to me because your church leadership is rotten. They can’t hold up their end of the bargain and my continued help for the church depends on you. So, instead of me trying to sell my team to you, I figured I’d let you and Elvis and Thomas chat for a bit while I have a heart to heart with your pastor.”

  Motioning for Earl and Mansfield to follow me, I pointed to the hallway just outside the kitchen. “Granny Wick, if you wouldn’t mind staying here so that Eli doesn’t feel like anyone is ganging up on him. Gentlemen, just tell Eli about the past couple days and see what he thinks.”

  Turning, I strode into the hallway and kept right on going until I stood next to the closest ‘Exit’ door. Early afternoon sunlight streamed in through the glass door and I glanced outside out of habit to make sure no monsters were coming this way before my chat.

  Mansfield’s face was pale in contrast to Earl’s weathered tan and his resolute countenance. That man always looked like he was on a mission.

  “I figured I’d talk to you both in private considering the color of my thoughts.”

  Pastor Mansfield paled even further and Earl’s eyes narrowed. I must have cut an imposing figure, my thick armor with an even thicker medieval shield and a wicked warhammer at the low-ready.

  “I had wanted to say how disappointed I am in this church but I ain’t your father and that wouldn’t really get across how fucking angry I am. The world met an unexpected kind of ending and someone thinks it’s a smart idea to screw with a friendly group of super-powered humans?! I get that y’all have numbers and faith and some kind of magic bullshit that keeps your building safe but do you really have a clue how FUCKED y’all would be if I decide to come at this little group of naive twats with everything I have at my disposal?!”

  Earl bristled at the naked threat but I lifted my warhammer a bit and slammed its head against the tile floor putting a small crater into it.

  “You have no reason to know this but my wife is a psychic nuke. She blew a hungry mutant insect bigger than a city bus to bits WITH HER MIND. And that’s my sweet, kind wife who just wants to garden and bake biscuits. Elvis is a freaking demi-god, my brother Thomas has far less morals than I do, and I have super strength and a temper that I fight daily to keep in check.”

  I held up my hand to forestall any arguments from either of them. The handle of my warhammer stuck in the air as I let go of it.

  “Earl, after the advice you gave me during our last conversation, I expected better of you. What’s the point of a sheepdog that can’t guide the lead sheep? Sheep are dumb and you fucking know it. Keep this-” I pointed at Mansfield, “On the straight and narrow or I will in a much more permanent fashion.” I focused the full weight of my attention on Mansfield. “And you, the end of the world really showed me your character. You went from a relatable and nice religious leader to a slimy megachurch guy with a greasy smile. That took what, four days? I have half a mind to let you speak to some neighborhood monsters to get your mind right.”

  That teeny voice in the back of my head begged me to haul them both out into the street just to force them to come to grips with what lay just beyond their consecrated land. I stuffed it back into a small dark corner before choosing my next words carefully.

  “If I so much as think for a second that you’re going to fuck me over . . . I will break all of your limbs and tie you to a tree in the woods and watch as monsters eat you alive. Fix your shit or I will fix it for you. Permanenly.”

  Earl stepped between Mansfield and me. “That’s going too far. I-”

  My hand shot out and snatched him by the neck. I lifted him up with my right hand. My left hand reached forward and ripped his holster off his belt. Earl’s hands gripped my wrist desperately trying to get free. His kicks glanced off my armor and I gave him a little shake to show how much like a toddler he seemed. Doing it slowly to make my point, I set him back down and handed him back his holster.

  “I’m not joking.” I said, very calmly, picking up my shield and warhammer. “And I could always go much much further. There is no law enforcement here that means a damn. Billions of people are dead. There is no city anymore, there is no law and order. The only thing we have left is magic and might and our ability to put those to use. The mana-rain wiped out all infrastructure and basically all pets and wildlife have gone psycho. You have no concept of ‘too far’.”

  “I deployed with men like you.” Earl said quietly. “Time and time again they would do the mission and come back but some piece of them never did. They always went back, volunteering for more and more dangerous missions. Until they didn’t come back. You are more in danger of losing yourself than you know.”

  His eyes flashed white and for a second, I saw an Angel standing behind him. Even worse, that fucker was glaring right at me.

  *********

  Mike

  Conversations like this always made me feel like I was a small child cowering in the next room. Mommy and Daddy raging at each other, not even having the decency to turn the TV up to drown out the noise. Being a grown man didn’t make that feeling go away, instead it made everything even more complicated because I knew what was going on and all the details.

  Granny Wick, never really got her real name, had her thick finger right in Mansfield’s face telling him what’s what and Earl kept pushing her finger down and trying to move that mountain of a woman back. She was upset with Mansfield for misleading her about how he had planned on using her ability to enhance other people’s powers. Instead of making people feel warm and welcome and bringing everybody to the table to talk, he used his own ability to get my neighbor to tell us more than he should have.

  What made it worse was that Mansfield felt fully justified in doing so, citing that unless they were a part of the church, there was no good way to know what their intentions were. Even though Grant and his wife Sandra had been nothing but kind and generous and straightforward with everyone.

  Earl, well, he saw none of that. His problem was with Grant standing up for himself and calling out Mansfield the way he did. Maybe threatening his life was a bit far, but he did have a point. Not having healers is a pretty good way to end up dead in the apocalypse.

  My gloved hands traced the grooves in the armor Grant had made for me. The metal breastplate and enhanced jean under-jacket fit perfectly on me. Custom ordering stuff like this a month ago would’ve cost thousands of dollars and Grant can whip up several of these in an hour if he’s got the right materials.

  My issue with all of this basically was how it all turned out. I knew that exploring with Grant and Elvis was better than doing it without them. They watched each other's backs as if they were family, and damn, they made me feel like I was a part of that. Part of me was angry with my own wife. Isabella cared too much about what other people thought. While I loved how agreeable and kind she was, mainly because of how much she enjoyed loving on our kids, it really didn’t help anytime there was real conflict.

  With Lannie disliking Grant and not being at the church, it didn’t take her long to wiggle her opinions into my wife’s brain without me there to deflect. And with Isabella getting set on leaving Grant and Sandra’s house, it was only a matter of time for Rochelle and Denise to not feel safe and want to leave as well.

  I thought it was stupid. Regardless of the belief system, church is about community. I saw that Elvis had a crush on Rochelle. Or was it Denise? There was a possible tie, a potential avenue of recruitment to pursue. Damn, we’ve been neighbors with Grant and Sandra for years. If we’d just played our cards differently, like not being dicks, then we probably could’ve convinced them to just move on over to the church. With Grant’s Earth Magic and Elvis’ strength, expanding with a real community behind them would’ve been incredible!

  But Mansfield had to go on a power trip and Lannie couldn’t keep herself to herself.

  By the time I’d thought it through, Mansfield and Wick were still arguing and Earl hadn’t made any headway on calming that storm.

  God. I hope Grant’s having an easier time than I am.