Chapter Ⅱ
"Have you ever had the feeling of being in a dream? As if your brain would no longer link to its body, perceiving everything as completely foreign. Did it ever feel like watching your actions from another point of view? Seems like finding a secret button for the autopilot mode, forgetting, though, that would make it impossible to turn off to get back to the command post."
Liv stopped reading after those few sentences. It had been three years since she had written them, but they still sent shivers down her spine. She would've never been able to forget that alienating feeling, she could actually still sense it on herself even after all that time, like some greasy ring permanently stuck to the skin, impossible to clean.
Three years ago, when she was sixteen and had graduated recently, she woke up with the heavy knowledge that something had changed; it still hadn't left her. She did not recognise the people she had around, had to learn all over again who were friends and family, but she pretended nothing was happening.
Just a few weeks later everything seemed to be back to normal. Someone would've maybe discussed that she was only getting used to the feeling because she denied needing any help, and that in reality she had simply learnt to know those foreign faces. But Live didn't think that was the case, because there were times where she could smell and taste her childhood again, remember the feeling of her mother's hands brushing her hair before going to school, the endearment she felt towards her family; other times, though, there was nothing, an empty void that left her feeling as indifferent as she was confused.
Effectively, it wasn't the sudden loss of memory that worried her, yet the awareness that she had no problem with each time before going back to normal. The girl felt like a whatever machine, guided solely by the will not to go out, with no destination nor means to stop: she did not know anyone, did not love any of those people for full months, but behaved as everyone expected her to because she wouldn't listen to medical advice. She refused to be labeled as crazy, despite doing so herself any time she caught herself analysing her situation from an objective point of view, because the idea terrified her. What if they misdiagnosed her, forever ruining her system and rendering her to a shell unable to work on her research in any laboratory? Even worse: what if they were right?
Yet Livia couldn't deny that as much as objectivity pointed out neatly the chance that she might suffer from a disorder - other than the delusional disorder, that is, which, however, she still refused to consider - there still were many inconsistencies. A patient suffering from delusional disorders or loss of memory would not be aware of that, not to that point; what had been defined as "delusions" were certainly a consequence of her discomfort, sure, like the sensation of being generally disliked by everyone despite being aware that many of her coworkers looked up to her and just as many people loved her, but that was not enough of an explanation to why she was managing to find answers regarding her thoughts of belonging to another universe.
Sat on the plane that from Tokyo would've brought her to Novosibirsk, Livia pulled out of her purse the notebook she had been using to note everything about her personal research in the past few years, not before setting the older and worn out one down in its place; Souls were not her only object of study, they simply resulted as part of theories advanced enough and supported by different people, working in completely unrelated laboratories. What actually caught her interest, in those last three years at least, was a theory that discussed the existence of a Multiverse: debunked multiple times, it was abandoned somewhere around a decade ago cause lack of funds after the Founder of the ??? ?? labs, "Laboratories in the Shade of a Cherry Tree", died. From then on no one had heard about neither the small complex of laboratories supporting the research, nor the scientists that took part in it. Liv had managed to find an old piece of korean news about Sun Jung's death and tracked all the way back to the "Cherry Labs", as she labeled them in her notes, website. Incredibly, the website resulted to be still on and even periodically updated, which could only imply that someone had took the company's reins in place of the woman and resumed her research. She still hadn't managed to contact whoever was now in charge of the project, but on that site she made out the chance to find important information about the discovery of plausible, other Universes.
As she already used to suspect before those uncovering, Universes are physically impossible to reach by travel, as it could be thought to get in the Abyss or to the Great Star, on the contrary. The resources and materials to reach them this way were lacking, as that meant crossing the vastness of the entire Universe to reach and overstep its border, an experience no Creature could possibly survive; even supposing an individual with such a physical strength existed, they would've still died of old age before reaching the endpoint of the expedition once overstepped the border of our Universe, considering that even species as renowned for longevity as Dragonborns could only make it up to 800 years or so. It's believed that a distance like that with our current technology could be covered in a time exceeding the thousand years. So the only way to solve it was what Liv had discovered: mainly through dreams and in unclear ways, Livia had remembered an event in particular, detached from her remaining experience.
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"Imperfection showcases itself in multiple occasions in our Universe. Those we call premonitory dreams, deja-vus or other phenomenon explained through supernatural forces in the past and as psychological events in our days, are nothing short of miscalculations in the space-time fabric. As proven by ??? ?? labs studies, published in 2017 and recognised as true thanks to confirmation by two more companies, ??? corp. (Kamal, "lotus" in Hindi) and Wedjat (seemingly tied to the Eye of Horus), Universes are tied together, born in different instances from the chemical reaction that shaped the one we populate; extremely similar Universes exist and we call them "Alternative Universes" for simplicity. When two Mirror Universes, term used for two Universes that are alternative to each other, share the same events in an exact moment the Multiverse gets confused, a bit like our mind when it finds itself before episodes that seemed to be already happened: the space-time fabric of one of the Universes creates horizontal folds in an attempt to match the other's speed, but the delay of even just a few seconds between the two distinct rhythms exponentially grows until a tear is created. This chasm in space and time has exactly two tasks: to re-establish the original rhythm before the Universe keeps on ripping itself apart, and shut itself close upon completion of the first charge. That means that the tear absorbs an incredible amount of Magic Energy from plants and people around it, which is why most individuals that ever happen to face a space-time imperfection feel particularly confused and dizzy, in the case of Humans, Shadows, Fauns and Satyrs, devoid of particular inborn magic abilities and so of great amounts of Magic Energy in their soul, unlike Faeries, Angels and Elves, which even experience loss of senses; this explains why no one remembers such events with precision, but leaves everyone with a question: how can I be so certain of what I'm saying?"
She had stopped writing her thesis exactly before being able to give a proper answer yesterday, collapsing out of exhaustion without even finishing the paragraph. Luckily, Livia managed to get back to her train of thought as soon as she finished reading whatever she had managed to previously note down and so she calmly resumed her writing.
"What if I told you that someone whose energies can't be drained by the effect of space-time tears exists? Well, whoever is affected by Sokolova-Hoffmann Syndrome, a chronic debilitating illness characterised by an overproduction of Magic Energy in the soul with following accumulation in its core leading to deterioration, can't suffer the effects caused by being near one of these lesions in the universal structure. Sokolova-Hoffmann Syndrome was, up until just fourteen years ago, the main cause of sudden death in children ageing 8 to 13 born in eterotaxonomic families, where the Magic Energy load results not to be homogeneous between parents (particularly lacking in the figure carrying the fetus), and received its name, diagnosis and cure all in the same year thanks to doctor Aleksandra Sokolova and Matvei Hoffmann's family, the child who's courage helped contribute to the development of a cure and managed to survive the syndrome at the young age of 10. I am one of these, affected by Sokolova-Hoffmann Syndrome with symptoms first showing up when I was about eight; at sixteen years old I happened to wake up with the feeling that I didn't belong to this Universe and so I started my research regarding the existence of a Multiverse. With time I managed to remember each time more vividly the time I had faced one of the space-time fractures, where I was met by the same feeling of losing my identity. I strongly sustain that during one of these alterations my two selves of the Mirror Universes merged into the one body that is writing this paragraph and I have the most serious intention to prove this theory true."
Livia asked herself how much longer she would've had faith in that thesis: maybe even that would've abandoned her for years, maybe it already did in the past but she could not recall it, maybe... how many "maybes" in her head.
She decided on closing the small notebook on her thighs and rest her eyes, allowing herself to focus on much more positive emotions. Reached Novosibirsk, she would've only been a few minutes away from her city, and she could already feel the snow under her boots and the freezing cold that she liked so much on the skin, despite being still hours of flight away.
Soul: unlike our world, where souls are something which existence could be discussed, its presence in The Lost Diary is confirmed. A Soul is an organ each living being has that forms itself alongside with the heart in human fetuses. To make it simple, it's a "stone" with a vitreous structure and the shape of a elongated rhombohedron (like the crystal in the sims). It breaks in precise, already delimited flakes, where each fragment corresponds to an organ: external fragments are tied to less sensitive and delicate organs, like the skin, and the internal ones, in the second and third layer, to vital ones. At the centre of a Soul is its core, extremely frail, which floats in a mixture of Vital Essence and Magic Energy. Every change made to the Soul corresponds to a physical change; it's as if the Soul is a palpable version of DNA with which interacting is possible without great difficulty. In The Lost Diary, Souls are also the reason why emotions are felt: emotions, feelings and sensations come from its core, are then processed by the brain and sent to the whole body through the nervous system.
Vital Essence and Magic Energy: their existence was confirmed by doctor Aleksandra Sokolova, the only researcher who was able to find enough people willing to take part in the experimentation and who had the steadiness and courage to test as a first thing on her own Soul. Livia keeps her research going, adding information and details that make these substances indispensable in the medic field and more. Vital Essence and Magic Energy are fluids present in the deepest part of every living being's Soul in The Lost Diary, but in different amounts and states of matter (they can be liquid-liquid, gas-gas or gas-liquid).
Different Species: in The Lost Diary cities are not populated by just Humans! There is a big variety of Creatures that will be slowly introduced in the book, and the great amount of them are taken from beings in different mythologies, fantasy series, videogames to then be rewritten by me. As for now I only feel the need to deepen your knowledge on Shadows, as they are almost completely changed from their starting creature.
Shadows: Shadows are a species originating in the Abyss, ninth planet of the System where we can find the Great Star, Helios, (which corresponds to our Sun) and Demeter (our Earth). They're creatures similar to reptiles on Demeter, evolved from Dragonborns of the place. Their frame is very robust and imposing, with bones much harder and tougher than those of humans, sharp teeth like Dragonborns, being opportunistic omnivores who prefer animal protein sources, they had a life span of about 350 ~ 370 years and an height that varies from 250 to 400 cm (98.5 to 157.5 inches for my fellow Americans). Their skin-tone is very dark, a purple that's almost closer to black, because on Hades intense light is almost permanently lacking, as even a very sunny day there is simply comparable to our full moon. They are doted of digitigrade legs like those of dogs and particularly stocky and robust forearms. Their ears are long and pointy and stick out to the sides of their head; they offer a main key to read their body language alongside with their long tail, which ends in a characteristic wisp of hair. Their blood is purple, their Soul is positioned behind the non dominant eye and their body can't stand mineral salts. The core of a Shadow's Soul is extremely close to a pearl: concentric layers of hard tissue that variate from Deep Jungle to Forest Green (both Pantone colours).
Multiverse: There is a Multiverse in The Lost Diary. As explained by Liv, there still isn't a theory proving it, but as the writer I can confirm so myself! About this one I can't add much more, as I would spoil most of the story.
Also, should the next chapter focus on the city of Nivengaard and Liv's memories or would you rather me focusing on the introduction of a new character? Let me know through the poll!"
~ Voidya Sherry
Should the next chapter focus on the city of Nivengaard and Liv's memories or would you rather me focusing on the introduction of a new character?
