Chapter Nine – Tears and RainGray stood with Sindara at a wooden bar underneath an awning that continually dripped water onto the cobblestones around them. Gray had a new appreciation of those stones and what they’d seen. At one point, the city around them would’ve been swarming with demons all under the control of the hellish archdukes and archduchesses.

  But that was before Akazel and the Cambrosians built the seven towers. The pit where the wrath tower once stood was just down the way from the charbrew stand.

  Sindara had drawn her hood back from her face. She was lethal or flirty or dripping with arrogance. No, she looked small and tired; her hair was unwashed, combed but lifeless. She couldn’t meet his eyes.

  They stood there, sipping the charbrew, which was the morning stuff reheated. It was foul, but Gray hardly tasted it. He was curious, but more, he was wary. This woman was a viper. She had to be.

  “You saw.” Sindara closed her eyes. “How much did you see?”

  “Enough,” Gray said. “Your hut. Your mother. Your father. Was he a grandmaster magus?”

  “Close.” She gnced into his eyes for a second. “He was a sovereign master. He was very powerful, and he did…bad things. For the money. It was always for the money. For the healing spells that never worked. What else?”

  “That’s all I really know. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  A tear slid down her cheek. “Of course you didn’t. I didn’t either. I didn’t know that I was going to lose control like that. But I could feel your heat, your power, that crazy energy in you, and I wanted…I wanted to get close to it.”

  “Like it was sunshine.” Gray thought of Ames, and how she talked about his expansive core.

  Sindara nodded. “We didn’t know. I mean, that bitch of a captain, Sevanya, she bragged about you, went on and on, but we didn’t know.”

  “Why do you hate her so much?”

  Sindara lifted her cup with a trembling hand. Her hands were dirty. For some reason, that bothered Gray. Like her greasy hair. This wasn’t the same confident woman he’d known. It was clear she was unraveling, or was this a ruse?

  The redhead ughed bitterly. “For one, I was paid to hate her. And your whole squad. No one thought you would win.”

  “Who paid you?” Gray asked.

  Sindara shrugged. “Does that matter? No, your captain murdered her st two squads when they didn’t perform well. Why do you think she had to go to the Null Breaks to find you? Why did she come to the Crown?”

  “I don’t care,” Gray said. “Fuck Captain Sevanya. And fuck you, Sindara. We all have sorrow. If I saw into your soul, you saw into mine. And what did you see?”

  “Weakness,” she hissed. “Sadness. Desperation. But you had Blind John and Old Agatha. You had fucking love. All I had was training and a sick mother and even sicker urges and—” she caught herself. “No, this is not how I want this to go.”

  She set down her cup and grabbed his arm with weak fingers. She was shaking, sweating, and seconds away from breaking down completely. “I want to join Squad 23. It’s the only way for me to be safe. Blythe doesn’t give a shit about me. She only wants to use me. Everyone just wants to use me.”

  Gray grabbed her cold hand and flung it off him. “Why should I care if you’re in danger? You’re not my problem.”

  “But…” her voice cracked. “But I need your help. You know what it’s like to be poor and desperate and you find yourself in a pce where you’ll do anything, anything to escape. Even steal a neckce from the woman you love.”

  Gray ughed, and it sounded so bitter to his ears. “I wasn’t thinking about love when I was between the princess’s legs.” It was a half-truth, at best. He’d cared for Lillian. But he’d not loved her enough to stop himself from stealing from her. “No tears. No touching. You’re going to get to the fucking point. You’re wasting my time.”

  She licked her dry lips. “I know…I know who killed Thormud Forgemace.”

  “What’s that?” Gray asked.

  “The dwarf.” She was trying not to break down completely. “Before Culling Day, he was found dead. I know who killed. And I think I know why, but I’m not sure. I didn’t really care until…until it came out. And they know I know. Maybe they don’t care that much, but maybe they do. But it’s more than that. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake by leaving your squad. I would take it. I have to take it back. Please, I know you’ll win. Everyone knows it. I have to be on the winning side. I have to be close to you.”

  “Me?” he shook his head. “What you’re asking is impossible. There is no way we’d let you back on. On the topic of murder, you’re lucky that Settie didn’t murder you both.”

  Sindara found a smile. “Oh, you call her Settie? Are you close? It’s well known that Captain Sevanya only likes women.”

  “She likes me all right.” Gray drained the st of his coffee. “Your life is not responsibility. Now, the deal was, I’d talk to you, and you’d tell me what the events would be for Soulshred Week. That was the deal. Let’s hear what you know.”

  Sindara raised her chin, finding some steel. “Yes, that was the deal. It’s going to be a sporting event with brackets, heats, that sort of thing. Blythe saw a listing of the squads and who would be facing off against who. And there was a shipment of balls sent to the pink pace. It’s not Sixblood. It’s going to be something different.”

  “New, different, horrible.” Gray had to chuckle and shake his head. Poor Rynn. She’d spent her life learning to fight when she should’ve learned to py catch. But it made sense why Blythe would say that only having five on their squad might be a problem.

  He’d seen Sindara in action. She was tough, quick, brutal. Her father had trained her well. Would she fit in with their team? No. But could they make it work? Maybe. But he wasn’t going to let her get within five hundred miles of Ruin Manor. He didn’t even want her petting his dog.

  Sindara had her eyes cast down. “If you allowed me back on your team, I could figure out which game they’ll be choosing. Please. I’m begging you.”

  “It’s not my decision.” It was a lie. If he went to Settie and demanded they bring back Sindara, she would do it. Even though he was still crippled, his expansive core and ability to fight made him invaluable. Besides, Rynn wouldn’t fight if he didn’t, and she was lethal.

  “But…”

  Gray felt such coldness in his heart. She wasn’t his problem. Still, he was curious to see how much she would grovel. “But what?”

  “But you were given kindness. Blind John was kind to you, as was Old Agatha. I’m asking you to be that for me.” She was fighting not to cry, and he had to admire that, but he couldn’t trust her. How many weepy whores had he seen stab their clients in the back? Far too many.

  “I can talk to the captain,” he said finally. “But first, who paid you to betray us?”

  “The Fae,” she said. “We got our money from Pamalee Thornpinch, at least I did. Blythe would’ve done it for free. The dragons hate your sponsor for free. Every dragon I’d met Even Mama Cinders doesn’t care for her.”

  “Because she murdered her squads, toppled the Wrath Tower, and was responsible for the fall of Astria. Yes, she has a checkered past. Don’t we all.” Gray didn’t believe any of that, not really, but he liked that she had such a wicked reputation. It made people wary of them. “Who is paying Pinch? I know she has a greed resonance. I’ve seen her get mana from her extortion.”

  “That I don’t know. But you’re right. She is doing this for money. It’s the Fae, so we have to be careful. Very careful. Will you help me?”

  “It’s not up to me—”

  She cut him off. “But it is. You’re the leader of Squad 23. You can convince the captain. I can fight. I can give you information. I’m trusted. I could…I could spy for you. We could keep this a secret until the very st minute, and then I could change teams. Don’t you see? This could give you that extra edge. Not that you need it.”

  He smiled, and he knew it wasn’t nice. “Already offering to spy for us? Or perhaps spy on us. We can’t trust you.”

  “I know. I know that! But you have to. Please, you have to trust me. I’ll do…I’ll do anything. Even that.” She began to cry for real, now. She’d held it together for this long but seeing that cold smile on his face must’ve broken her.

  And then, before he knew it, she was rushing into his arms.

  This wasn’t the violent attack when they’d kissed before. This was something pitiful and broken-hearted.

  He could’ve shoved her. He probably should have shoved her away.

  Instead, he let her cry on his chest, holding her, feeling her heat. She had to have washed because he caught her perfume, and it smelled good. More than that, he felt the heat of power, her core, and he could see it was being fueled with lust. For him. For a new life. For an escape from the cage where she found herself in.

  Before he knew it, his core was reaching out to hers, and hers was reaching out to him. He felt himself falling into her life, and at first, he stopped it from happening. He didn’t want to delve, but with what was going on, a little delving was necessary.

  But he saw her alone, curled into a little ball, in her bed in the barracks weeping softly. She didn’t want Blythe to hear her crying. About her life. About her future. Her mother was long dead, but now, her father was ill. The same sickness? Perhaps. And he wasn’t in the hut anymore, but a fine house in a little town on a cold sea. Both of them, working together, had escaped the hut but both couldn’t shake themselves of the years of watching mother and wife slowly die.

  It was just cruel irony that he would fall ill after making a name for himself teaching magic and martial arts to the people in the town. Him and his daughter, who handled the female students. A few of the older students, women with years of experience under their belt, she had romances with, but never going all the way because that would risk bonding.

  Sindara was a passionate woman, one with a lust resonance, and she found others to share in her lust. And yet, she kept her core hidden because she didn’t trust anyone, no one at all, and in the end, that made her untrustworthy because she assumed everyone was the same.

  Blind John warned of that. “If you like everyone is a liar, you might as well lie. But not everyone is a liar. Not everyone will cheat you. But don’t let the shark bite you twice.”

  He knew he could take Sindara to the Pleasure Market, find a room, and do what he wanted with her. They wouldn’t necessarily need to have sex. They could find their lust in any number of ways. She was an expert at that.

  But no. Even now, Rynn would know he was with Sindara. They were bonded. She would feel his growing excitement. He wondered what Rynn would think of Sindara’s offer? She was so kind and clear-headed. She might let Sindara back in. In the end, pying whatever game Soulshred Week promised would be easier with six than five.

  Sindara finally stopped crying. She stood there, both of them holding each other, until she could breathe normally again.

  He might risk another bond with Ames, but not with Sindara.

  Still, he held her, and then heard a voice, a growl really, and it was from around the corner…from somewhere. It took a second, but he realized he was hearing one of Sindara’s memories. In the memory, Sindara was standing outside the room. “I fucking don’t care. If she knows about the dwarf, she’s a liability. We can’t trust her, not with her past. She’s a nice piece of ass, but that’s all she is.”

  That voice sounded so familiar, but Gray couldn’t pce it. He’d heard it before, but from where?

  Sindara stepped away from him. She went to take his hand, but she stopped herself. “Thank you. I see now. You and Rynn, bonded forever. You love each other. I get that. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have let you hold me. But I needed some…” She smiled at him; her face was streaked with tears. New tears shimmered and he saw she was being honest. “I needed some of your sunshine. It was enough. It might have been the best embrace of my life, Grayson Fade. And that is saying something.”

  He felt himself moved. But he wasn’t going to let his emotions make his decision. His emotions were wild horses. He needed something far more calm. “I will see about you joining us. Have you told Blythe about the dwarf and what you know?”

  She shook her head. “They would know. I don’t know how they’d know, but they’d know. I think it’s some kind of divination magic, but I’m not sure. It’s why…it’s why I can’t tell you who did it, not until I’m with your squad.”

  “Stay close to Blythe. She won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Sindara ughed, and it was a hard, cold sound. “She doesn’t give a fuck about me. No one does. Only my father, and if I don’t send money back home, he’ll lose the house, the healing, all of it. And without him, I won’t care what happens to me. Thank you, Gray.”

  “Don’t thank me yet,” he said.

  She reached out to touch him but stopped herself. “No, you talked to me. You held me. Tell Rynn I wouldn’t get between you. I wouldn’t. Such bonds are rare. You’re lucky.”

  He was. In all sorts of ways.

  She left without finishing her charbrew. He watched her walk away until the rain swallowed her up.