"Kitayana! What's going on? Come on, let me in." Consistent knocking echoed around the room.

  Lilas, concerned and needing help, isn't what I need right now. It just makes it feel worse. It makes me feel like I can actually ask him to help me...and he would, and that's not what I need right now...

  For his sake and mine. I need to turn on the soundproof...

  If he hasn't put two and two together yet, he's going to soon...

  "Where...where did it go?" I rasped out.

  I look around the ground, desperately grasping at nothing.

  My eyes are blurry with tears, and I can't stop shaking.

  The pounding at the door stopped, and instead, I heard a desperate voice calling out to me, "Kitayana, please open the door...let me help you. Whatever it is, I can help. I need to..." His voice sounded pealing.

  There...under the bed...I feel it... the magical rune.

  I drag the device towards me.

  I clutch it in my hands and tap twice weakly. Then suddenly it's silent. I can only hear my shallow pants and the sound of my raging heartbeat.

  I'm safe... I'm safe.

  No one needs to get hurt because of me.

  Not even Lilas can break through his spell without causing harm to himself.

  My eyelids are starting to feel heavy.

  The desperate sleep I craved earlier today has found me and is clutching on to me, pulling me into a slumber that I don't even know if I'll ever open my eyes again.

  As I fight against sleep, I think about all the other times Lilas has helped me with my damming heat.

  I know just thinking about those memories isn't going to help me now, it's only gonna bring me more pain.

  The more I try to fight my body and my mind, the more I find myself losing.

  I lay in the fetus position on the ground next to the bed. The cold wooden floor helped my scorching skin cool off before it started to feel like it was prickling millions of needles into my skin.

  I need to get up.

  I need to lie in bed.

  I need to comfort myself even in the smallest way possible.

  It takes excruciating effort to get into bed and start to pull off my clothes frantically. Once I do, I lay there. Letting the cold breeze gently surround and sway against my scorching body.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  I blink slowly until I don't blink again.

  When I flutter my eyes...I notice I am wrapped in a thin white blanket. A firm body held onto me desperately. It clutched onto me like it knew I wanted to disappear into a faraway place. The body gently and shakily rocked back and forth.

  "Kit..."

  He said my name so desperately, like it was a prayer.

  "Come on...please say something, Love? Hm?"

  I looked up at him, and he looked down at me expectantly. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't...not from his sad, drowning eyes.

  "What...if I can make this...all go away?" He asks as he stops rocking us back and forth.

  That's when I truly looked at him, like I really looked at his tragic expression.

  "I can take all the pain away..." He rasped out, "I...can rewrite our history. I really can. I— " He swallowed, "...I can make it so... I never was a part... of your life," He choked out. He held me tighter.

  "That's...not," I cough out, "not helpful."

  "I...then what else can I do? What else can I do to make the pain go away...?"

  He sounded like a desperate child asking an obvious question.

  "You...don't. You live with it."

  He shook his head. Desperately trying not to accept my answers.

  "If I didn't—"

  "There is no you, Lilas...not in this. My body...my heat was bound to happen any day now..."

  "But I—"

  "If...you're going to cry, blame yourself and have a pity party holding me... then get out. I didn't ask you to be here. I don't need you here." I said sharply, and that made him freeze.

  He looked at me and tried to hide the hurt in his eyes.

  He nodded and shifted us into a new position on the bed. He lay me onto him, clinging to me. My head rested on his naked chest as I heard the steady beat of his heart pounding.

  He was still only wearing a towel around his torso...the way he held me didn't feel unsafe...if anything, it brought peace to my inner self.

  Like I was desperately in need of any form of touch.

  If I felt what I thought was heat subsiding this easily, that means...it wasn't my heat at all. It was a heat spike. One that felt like the world was painfully shattering inside and out of my body.

  How many days do I have until my true heat comes for my reckoning?

  How do I fix this?

  If Lilas's touch is the only thing keeping me grounded, then... that means I am using him.

  This isn't what I wanted at all.

  "Kitayana...I think. No, I know that we can't be doing this any longer."

  What is he saying?

  What is he talking about?

  He paused before continuing, "Your body can't handle that spell anymore...It's causing more harm than good."

  I let out a sigh of relief until I realized what he was saying.

  "No," I said desperately as I dug my nails into his chest, "You can't...not this... You can't do this to me."

  "Love...it's for the—"

  "Don't bullshit me!" I tried to sit up and pull away from him, but he didn't let go, "Not this...anything but this." I said as I cried into his chest, "I would rather you kill me than this." I shouted into his chest.

  "Listen to me. You didn't let me finish." He slid me off his chest and had me lie beside him. He stared at me and at me. He looked at me like he truly wanted me to understand what he was about to say.

  "I meant that we should stop the spell temporarily. Only for the month we are here."

  I blinked rapidly at him.

  I didn't say anything for a long time

  "...But there are events...where we need to go out."

  "Don't worry. I already thought of something. The alternative option I created might even cause less strain on your body."

  "What if something goes wrong? What if the spell doesn't work anymore...after the moment? What if someone finds out about me...?"

  "Don't worry, nothing is going to go wrong...if it does, I'll fix it. I'll make all your problems go away. I promise."

  I nod slowly.

  "...Don't do anything stupid," I said.

  "...I wouldn't dream of it."

  "Promise me. Promise me you won't do anything stupid!"

  "I promise."

  He didn't look at me when he promised.

  "You're a liar." I hissed, but I didn't try to move away from him, and he didn't say anything, "...You already did something...didn't you?"

  He kept silent at my accusation.

  "Nothing, you need to worry about."

  "I...don't trust you."

  "You're going to have to."

  At that, I say nothing and let him hold me.

  It wasn't until I closed my eyes that I questioned how he got in here...