“Gray!”

  Alexia and I looked at each other before yelling, “What?!”

  “I need you two to make yourselves scarce tonight. I’m having some friends over to play poker.” Dawn grinned.

  “This is my dimension,” I reminded her.

  Dawn put her hands on her hips. “And you are my grandchild. Don’t make me withhold cookies,” her grin turned evil, “and soap operas.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

  Dawn’s eyes bore through mine. “Try me.”

  Alexia grabbed my hand. “You can just stay at my place tonight.”

  “You mean sleep somewhere that is not here?”

  Alexia nodded. “It’s pretty normal for couples to sleep at each other’s places. I stay here pretty much every night."

  I shrugged. “I just assumed you had nowhere else to go.”

  Alexia’s face blanked. “You thought I was un-housed?”

  “Or kicked out, house explosion, Captain California flew through the middle of your building, destroying it. Many things could have happened.”

  “You amaze me,” she groaned.

  I smiled. “Thank you.”

  “It wasn’t a compliment.”

  Dawn’s voice boomed through Nowhere. “Hey, lovebirds! You gonna skedaddle or what?”

  A portal formed and three people stepped through.

  Alison waved. “Hey, Gray. It’s been awhile.”

  CP bowed.

  “Always good to see you, Gray and Alexia. You need to swing by the Duck and we can throw back a few.” MJ grinned. “See if we can get you to do your one person play again.”

  “Ignore Gray and Alexia, they’re just leaving,” Dawn shouted. “I hope y’all brought enough booze!”

  The trio muttered their goodbyes as they walked to Dawn’s gameroom.

  Alexia slashed through reality, took my hand, and walked through the portal.

  I looked around and saw a giant building with the name “Morgan and No One Else Inc.”

  “So this is where you live? Looks nice. And right across from MJ’s bar.” I scratched my chin. “I wonder if that’s the same Morgan I’m friends with?”

  “I don’t live there, Gray. It’s a business… of some sort.” Alexia turned and pointed at the floor above “Wiley Waffles and Whiskey.”

  “You live in a waffle restaurant?”

  “I live above a waffle restaurant. C’mon, let's go.”

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  Fingers entwined, Alexia dragged me up the stairs to her apartment. Another person was sitting on what appeared to be a couch-shaped dumpster sipping beer, a joint hanging from their mouth.

  Alexia rolled her eyes. “Hex, Gray. Gray, this is the walking catastrophe named Hex.”

  I tipped my imaginary hat. “Nice to meet you, Hex.”

  His red eyes looked me up and down before returning to the joint and beer.

  I looked at Alexia. “Is your roommate deaf and mute?”

  “No. He’s just a dick.”

  Hex’s middle finger shot into the air, his joint fell to the couch.

  “Let’s head to my room, Gray.” Alexia looked around suspiciously. “Before something gross latches onto us and sucks our eyeballs out.”

  She dragged me toward her room as I waved. “It was… odd meeting you, Hex.”

  The door shut and I found myself in an immaculate room. Nice cozy bed, a fridge, a microwave, a TV hanging on the wall connected to various gaming systems, and a top-of-the-line gaming PC.

  “Kind of looks like how you set up my room back home.”

  Alexia looked down, blushing. “Yeah. Only I made your walls a deep plum.”

  I nodded. “The plum is better than… what even is this color?”

  “I’ve come to call it if-beige-took-a-shit-on-blue.”

  “I can see that.”

  Alexia laid back on her bed, staring at the stars on her ceiling. “Make yourself at home, Gray.”

  I stared at the ceiling. “I like your stars. Did you get them from the microverse?”

  “No,” she laughed. “I got them for five bucks down the street at the drug store.”

  I scratched my chin. “I’m guessing those are not real stars?”

  She sat up and kissed me. “No.”

  Deep in thought, I took in the rest of the room.

  “Hex seems like someone Dawn could get along with.”

  Alexia collapsed laughing. “Oh my god. Let's set them up.” She grinned, then whispered, “She would crush Hex like the rotten leaf he is.”

  “I take it you do not like your roommate?”

  “What gave you that idea?”

  “Wanting Dawn to crush him like a rotten leaf… which I am not sure is plausible.”

  Alexia opened her fridge then popped two slices of pizza into her microwave.

  “Why do you live here if you dislike him?”

  “I can afford it and it’s downtown. Do you know how much crazy crap happens here? The Rubber Duck had a molasses flood, some dude punched a monster through Morgan and No One Else Inc., and Asteroid Chicken is,” she closed her eyes and moaned, “orgasmic.”

  “You could have all that if you lived with me. We live near everything.”

  She grinned mischievously. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

  “It seems the obvious solution to your Hex problem.” I looked down, blushing—stupid human form. “I would… enjoy having you around more.”

  Alexia hopped up and we totally made out.

  “Alright, first things first,” Alexia said sternly. “Dawn must go.”

  My jaw dropped, then something hopped down my throat, preventing me from speaking.

  She pulled me into bed. “I’m joking, you know I love Dawn.” Her eyes turned to me. “And you.”

  My jaw returned to normal and the throat beast disappeared.

  I lifted my scythe. “Should we move you in now?”

  She pulled me closer to her. “We should give this room the farewell it deserves. How about we fade to black?”

  The next morning.

  I opened a giant portal to Nowhere and moved all of Alexia’s belongings, except her bed, into Nowhere.

  As we wandered the dimension, looking for the best place to make a storage room, we entered Dawn’s gaming room.

  Dawn was facedown on the poker table surrounded by empty liquor bottles, half-smoked joints, and cigars. Gripped tightly in her hand was a blackjack.

  Alison and MJ had very much made themselves at home under the table—dressed only in a blanket.

  CP slumped against the wall, a goose egg on their head, and a five-gallon bucket of bills, coins, and Dawn’s jewelry held close.

  Alexia and I looked at each other, laughed, then said in unison, “We keep telling her she’s terrible at poker.”

  Dawn learned nothing.

  The Adventures of Alison Alistair and The River and Friends series - River and the Bug and The Beagle and the Robin.