Volume 2: The Warehouse of Heaven's Grain Chapter 1: Declaration of Rebirth

  The air down here is still okay, if I can feel it. Looking up, a chaotic mess of souls in different colors float around.

  Look, a soul plane. Hey, wait, let me make a paper airplane. This word seems to have multiple meanings, fortunately I didn't shout it out.

  There is now a rotten woman Shu Qingya, YY from heaven to underground.

  I've decided, I want to be the most YAOI-loving goddess in history.

  "You're lucky, there's a chance to go back, some can only stay here, like me... Ah, but considering I can mix with the lowest of ghosts, it's fine... Line up, line up." The ghost officer wearing prison-like clothes brought me down to the end of a long queue, waiting for reincarnation.

  Dazed and looking around, a long dragon, everyone is floating vaguely in mid-air, left and right, up and down, such a long dragon is not uncommon, mine is still relatively short.

  "It's been so long." I sighed.

  "This is considered short, if it coincides with natural disasters and man-made disasters, this place will be crowded with people. You'll have to wait slowly." Prison clothes uncle added emphasis on the two words "slowly", as if it would be very slow.

  In front of me was a chubby girl who would jump up from time to time. Then, during one of her jumps, my foot got trampled flat.

  "Hiss!"

  "Right, sorry." Chubby turned around and apologized sincerely.

  I rubbed my feet: "In line."

  "Really, are you excited?" Chubby's eyes sparkled brightly as she looked at her with affection.

  What's so exciting about a dead person?

  "Haha, looks like you're not that excited, but I'm thrilled, finally can be reborn again."

  I wondered: "You... aren't happy being alive?"

  Chubby girl pouted: "Yes, being sold to a brothel, what's there to be happy about."

  "Uh...to be honest, with your figure, sis...you should be relatively safe, right?"

  "Yes, I thought so too. But that concubine insisted that I'm a beauty and forced me to lose weight. You know what? She wouldn't even give me food! It's so cruel! And she said that if I lost weight, I could help the 'Hundred Flowers Palace' save on food!"

  "Baifa Palace"? Ah, Old Mother! What a coincidence, this world is really small. Running into familiar people everywhere.

  "Then... aren't you going to run away?"

  "Run?" Fat girl rolled her eyes, "How to run? You know, there were five girls who were sold to the 'Hundred Flowers Palace' with me. At that time, except for me, everyone else wanted to run."

  One of them had their leg broken and was dragged back, and to this day they still limp; one tried to commit suicide by eating a poisonous plant, but that night they were ***, it's better to be dead than alive; there's another who claimed to know some high-ranking official, even the empress laughed three times saying she was the emperor's mother. She was thrown directly into the main hall to receive guests; then there's one who knew martial arts, yes, she was quite fierce, unfortunately, she was chased back by the "Hundred Flowers Palace" four great masters. Another round of brutal beatings ensued.

  The last one is me, I originally thought that as long as I was obedient and didn't even dare to disobey my aunt, I would just be a miscellaneous worker or something. As a result, who knows what she saw in her eyes, she found out that I'm a beauty and told me to lose weight.

  Good heavens, not being allowed to eat is simply torture for me. I was so hungry that I lay in bed, and only a maid named Yueyue took pity on me, often bringing me some mantou to eat. Usually it's just water or that damned weight loss soup prescribed by the doctor. And sometimes even the servants would forget to feed me.

  "I was starving for three whole months until yesterday. Just last night, Xiaobi and Xiaolu were busy watching some excitement, I heard it was a performance by one of the imperial concubine's attendants. They forgot to feed me again, and as a result, I didn't have the strength to take another breath, and that's how I ended up like this. Xiaobi and Xiaolu probably still don't know, but I should thank the imperial concubine, finally, I'm free..."

  "...For a moment, I didn't know whether to admit that I was indirectly the one who "murdered" my benefactor. Just as I looked up, a ghostly figure flashed before our eyes and inserted itself in front of us. I pointed at the ghostly shadow and changed the subject: 'Cutting in line! What nerve!'"

  "Never mind, I'm used to it. All day long, people keep cutting in line, they have this attitude." Pongyu pinched my hand and I was shocked: "How can they possibly bring money down here?"

  "One look and I know you're a wrongful death, normally a proper burial would involve burning money for the road."

  "I didn't know buying road money was used like this!"

  "Yeah, I also found out when I came down. But this kind of thing won't happen a second time, let's wait slowly. Fortunately, ghosts don't get hungry easily, we can chat and pass the time."

  As we were talking, another ghost passed in front of us. Good grief, this is getting ridiculous, it's like I'm not making any progress at all.

  "Chubby girl! Chubby girl!" A ghost messenger came looking for her, and soon found her due to her large figure. He took out a blue booklet, and the chubby girl was overjoyed: "Could it be that they've discovered my death and burned money for me to spend on the road? I can finally cut in line!" The chubby girl grasped my hands and bounced up and down excitedly.

  Guī chā and Qiú yī dà shū chuān de yī fú yí yàng, tā zǎ ba le yī xià zuǐ, jiāng lán běn běn fàng zài dù zi qián, píng dàn de kàn zhe xīng xì de pàng nǚ: "Pàng nǚ, nǐ yáng shòu wèi jìn, xiàn zài yào dài nǐ huí qù. Jì kè qǐ chéng."

  Chubby Niu's happy expression froze instantly, and then she hugged my body and started sliding down: "Don't want to go back... I don't want to go back... I'd rather die than go back..."

  "You silly girl, have you gone mad! Others want to be reborn but don't even get the chance, now you're given a free rebirth and you don't want it! No way, no way! Go!" The ghost pulled on the fatty's waistband, and the fatty changed from hugging my waist to hugging my leg: "I don't want to go back ah——it's better to die than live ah——sister save me——save me ah——"

  "This... I'm also dead... Love is powerless..."

  "You're dead too, ah, sister, you'd better come back to life, I'll swap with you!"

  "Huh?"

  "Oniisan, handsome devil, can't you?" Chubby girl got up from the ground and hooked her arm around Oniisan's neck. I feel like both Chubby girl's tone and actions are somewhat similar to mine."

  The ghost raised an eyebrow, glanced at the chubby girl with a lazy eye corner, and nodded: "If both parties have no objection, it can be done."

  The ghosts surrounding us immediately boiled up.

  "I agree!"

  No way, pervert? That's BL already.

  "I'd like to as well..."

  No way, Auntie, haven't you ever tasted a man's flavor? Do all prostitutes want to be like that?

  "I agree!"

  "I'm willing too!"

  I didn't expect there were so many people in this world who like being prostitutes.

  "Sister~~~~" Fat girl started to hug me and act cute, "Please, just change it for me~~~~ I'm not ugly, even grandma said I'm a beauty, I'm just a bit fat, really, after starving for a month I should be thinner, anyway when I came down I felt my arms were as light as cotton, don't worry, the quality is absolutely guaranteed!"

  It's not an issue of quality, but one of identity.

  "Shu Qingya, you're so clever, a small 'Hundred Flowers Palace' can't hold you back." The old man in the prison uniform said it more lightly than I did, "Look at you, you don't have money or connections, and even if you do get in line, it'll take at least a year. Just let Fat Niu go ahead of you, anyway, when you return to your own world, you'll just be reincarnated again."

  "Isn't it rebirth?"

  "Where are there so many ready-made ones to choose from? Your original body was also smashed, and now it's unknown which fish belly it has entered. So you're re-entering the cycle of reincarnation, and you'll have to drink Meng Po's soup again. Think about it, this chubby girl still has 60 years of life left here, but over there, you'll truly be starting from scratch."

  "Restart?! Forget it, I like having memories." Since we're going to be reborn anyway, why not enjoy these sixty years and then die? This world is still full of wonders, at least most people are more genuine than where we came from. Plus, I have the 9527 plan, don't waste those good resources.

  "Are both of you willing?"

  I and Pàng Niū exchanged a glance, nodding in unison: "Yes!"

  "Then, I'd like to ask Miss Pangniang, in the long wait ahead, will you regret today's decision? Will you appeal to our leaders to change today's decision? Will you constantly disrupt our work? Will you be unreasonable and make a scene? Will you be hysterical? Will you take advantage of the situation to throw a tantrum and engage in other abnormal human behavior?"

  "No way!"

  "Then, Miss Shu Qingya, in the next sixty years, will you choose to commit suicide due to dissatisfaction with mundane life? Will you bribe our superiors with money and regret today's decision? Will you drag a few martial arts masters to die together and take revenge on us? Or will you become our superior after death and dismiss us from office? Of course, the last possibility is almost zero, but it's not that I'm afraid of ten thousand, just in case."

  "No!"

  "Alright, everyone go back and forth, see you off—"

  "Ouch!" Someone kicked me hard, how come nobody told me it was going to be sent like this?!

  "Remember to burn some paper money for me on your way up —" Fat Niu's voice accompanied me all the way to the afterlife.