Volume 2 Chapter 15: The Frozen Silky Feathers of Tianxia's Granary

  Xiao Yan Yu wants to hear a joke, then I'll tell him one.

  After some thought, he casually said: "In the past, there was a rice cake seller who called out in a weak and hoarse voice. A kind-hearted person asked him why his voice was so weak. The rice cake seller replied that he was hungry. The kind-hearted person was puzzled and asked if he couldn't eat some of the rice cakes. The rice cake seller whispered, 'These rice cakes are stale and can't be eaten.'"

  The grand hall echoed with a gentle, lingering laughter. Xiang Yu laughed and said: "Hehe... the rice cake seller doesn't eat rice cakes because he takes out the stale ones to sell, what a sly merchant! However, Piao Piao girl, this joke isn't as brilliant as yours from this afternoon. Piao Piao girl is hiding something, and this wine... I won't drink it."

  "...you really have a knack for this."

  I no longer held the tray, but placed it on his desk, raised my eyes, and a hint of mischief flashed in Xianyu's eyes. He raised an eyebrow, and his light golden hair shone with a captivating glow under the candlelight.

  I blinked, and slowly began to say: "Once upon a time, there was a bear who was very bored. In the end... he died of boredom." My face was expressionless, my tone cold. Niang Yu was stunned, to be precise, the entire hall was stunned, beautifully awkward, the only sound in the entire hall was the howling wind.

  Someone started whispering: "Is...that it?"

  "What kind of joke is this?"

  "No, no, no, I think this joke is interesting."

  "Hey! Now that you mention it, this joke really does have some meaning."

  "Do you feel a bit cold?"

  "It seems... it's really not as hot as it was just now."

  Jianyu picked up his wine cup, took a light sip, put it down, and raised the corner of his mouth: "Not enough."

  You're an invincible M, and you still owe me a beating? Alright, I'll satisfy you today!

  The story of the bear's boredom spread quickly, all the way to the Snow Bear (Arctic bear) in the extremely cold land. The Snow Bear was also bored, but he thought, "I can't die from boredom, it's too embarrassing." So he started counting his fur, plucking one and counting one, plucking one and counting one. He plucked all the fur off his body, and when the north wind blew, he shivered and said, "It's so cold..." In the end, he froze to death... The grand hall remained silent and expressionless.

  "Pffft!" Someone snorted out laughing.

  "Froze to death, haha..."

  "This bear is really stupid, haha..."

  "No, no, no, I feel colder and colder."

  "Me too."

  Xianyu smiled and took another sip, his enchanting eyes sparkling with electricity. Tongtong was forced back by my cold aura, if you want to tell a cold joke, you have to be cold enough yourself.

  "If you can continue with this bear's story, I, the prince, will drink all of this wine."

  "Prince Featherlight. Do you have a grudge against this bear or has it attacked you before? Two are already dead, and you still won't give up?"

  "What do you think?" Niú Yu raised an eyebrow, winking at me and even flirting with me. I closed my eyes, then opened them again: "The news of Xue Xiong's death spread quickly, just like the first bear, becoming a laughing stock for bears. But, the bears in the forest are also very bored."

  Xiong Jia said to Xiong Yi: We can't be so boring, it's going to be boring to death! Xiong Yi was also afraid of death after hearing this, and then said: But we can't pull out our hair, or we'll freeze to death in winter. Xiong Jia and Xiong Yi started thinking, and soon Xiong Yi thought of a method and said: Let's tell jokes! Xiong Jia said: Good.

  Then, bear B started telling jokes. As a result, the more he told, the colder it became. The more he told, the colder it became, and finally... it froze bear A to death. It turned out that bear B was telling cold jokes...

  "Hahaha... exactly, this is the kind of joke that I, the prince, want to hear." After saying that, he tilted his head and downed the wine in his cup. This guy was asking for it, wasn't satisfied until he scolded him.

  The whole hall burst out laughing immediately afterwards.

  "This joke is interesting."

  "No, no, I think what makes this joke brilliant is the last part. You guys forgot, when we were listening to it just now, we thought it was a bit off..."

  "Oh! Mr. Fang's words are really enlightening!"

  "Your Majesty Xuan Yuan!" Suddenly, Hu Yu Chao Xuan Yuan Yi Fei bowed, "May this beauty be bestowed upon the prince? The prince is willing to exchange three beauties for her."

  Huh? Sold twice in one day! It feels like that friend's buying and selling game, the price keeps going up.

  I immediately turned around in the direction of Feng Xueyin, continuing to lower my head, eyes looking at my nose, nose looking at my heart, selling to anyone is useless.

  Anyway, it won't hinder my escape plan, I just hope it ends soon so I can make a run for it.

  "It's not possible for the Emperor." Did Feng Xue Yin really think that Yuan Yu could give me to Nie Yu? That's right, even if Feng Xue Yin gave me away, he wouldn't dare accept.

  "What? Why not? This beauty was given to me by the Queen, she is my thing, I want to give her to whoever I want, and who is it. Moreover, Prince Yun Yu is a noble guest of the Xuan Yuan Dynasty."

  "Your Majesty, this is a kind intention of Qing Ya, but how can you... This is probably not suitable. Moreover, since Your Majesty ascended the throne, the harem has been empty, with only Consort Zi and Consort Mo, even playing around feels quite dull."

  Xuanyuan Yifei stopped talking, he was never a person who liked to talk much. Fengxue Yin's meaning was very clear, she didn't want to send me to Nianyu.

  "Empress, you're putting me in a difficult position. Prince Nianyu has asked me for someone, how can I be so petty?"

  "Prince Kaguya." Fubuki began his attack on Kaguya.

  "Your Majesty."

  "The floating girl is deeply liked by the palace, and the palace really can't bear to part with such a person who tells jokes. Why not have the palace send six beauties to the prince as compensation?"

  Hey! First, three for one, then six for one, my price is doubling. But what's weird is that Feng Xue said "I'm happy for you" in front of Xuan Yuan Yi Fei, isn't that admitting to our illicit relationship? The whole thing is getting more and more confusing.

  "This... Since Her Majesty the Queen likes it, I won't force my way, but I request that Xiaoxiao continue to tell jokes in the same vein as before. If she can still come up with a story connected to the previous one, I'll give up. How about it?"

  I said... this bird shouldn't have been screwed by a bear, right? So many died and still not satisfied.

  "It's just drifting, don't mention it." Feng Xue Yin's voice was always very gentle.

  "Yes." I turned to Yan Yu again, raised my eyes, and Yan Yu gave me a flirtatious glance. He was stunned for a moment, and indeed, he was shocked: "Since Xiong Yi was frozen to death by Xiong Jia... after being frozen to death..."

  "What happens after freezing to death?"

  "After freezing to death, he never told cold jokes again. Soon it was summer and all the bears in the forest felt hot and wanted Bear E to tell some cold jokes to cool down, but Bear E was afraid of killing all the bears with his jokes, so he left the forest alone and sat by the river sighing."

  Then, a hunter passed by and saw Xiong Yi sighing. He asked what was wrong. Xiong Yi told him everything and said that now everyone is very hot but doesn't know what to do. The hunter said: This is simple, just take off the bear skin, it will be cool, and then put it on again in winter, and you won't be afraid of freezing to death.

  Xiong Yi thought this method was very good, so he took the hunter to the forest. In the end, all the bears in the forest were killed." Now you're satisfied, aren't you? The whole forest of bears is gone.

  "Hahaha... Ah, what a pity!" Yan Yu sighed with a smile, "What a pity that I, the prince, have no fate with Piao Piao..."

  "Thank you, Prince Yuyue..." I returned to my previous obedient appearance.

  "It's all right, you can go down first."

  "It is...". He stood up and walked away.

  These people are really stupid, being frozen once is not enough and they want to be frozen several more times.

  The waitress immediately walked up to me: "This way, miss..."

  They led me out of the palace and into a bathing pool, I was stunned for a moment, then I knew what they were going to do.

  After being wrapped up like a caterpillar and thrown onto a bed, I looked around at the decorations. It didn't seem to be Xuan Yuan Yi Fei's bedroom, it was relatively simple and unadorned. That makes sense, an emperor's bedroom isn't somewhere you can just sleep in casually, let alone me, a courtesan.

  When everyone was gone, I sprang up and wrapped myself in a bed sheet, searching the room for clothes, but there were none. Not even scissors or any sharp objects. Luckily it's summer now, so I just used the bed sheet to wrap myself up like a Greek goddess, making a slit at the thigh for convenience, then ran off.

  Stuffing the pillow into the quilt, putting down the mosquito net, gently opening the window, looking around to make sure no one is there, then jumping out and running!

  Barefoot and cautious, I avoided the guards, looking left and right until I found a fake hill. This place was indeed unfamiliar to me, after all, Xuan Yuan Yi Fei lived in the imperial palace, and I hadn't explored every nook and cranny back then.

  Hiding behind a fake mountain and wracking his brains, how could he lure the little eunuch over to rob him of his clothes when there was nothing valuable on him?

  After circling around for three and a half times, he came up with a bad idea and tried to tempt the eunuch.