“Yeah, fuck, come on.”

  Amy seemed surprised, and it took her a moment to catch up as I shoved my way back into the house. She'd probably expected a fight, but I'd resigned myself to this conversation sooner or later. I had been hoping for a day or two to get my shit together, then explain myself, at least mostly; she deserved that much. Unfortunately, Jack fucked with my plans because he was an asshole.

  I sat down heavily on the couch, pulling off my mask and hood. A moment later, Amy sat at the opposite end, looking anywhere but at me. I shut my eyes and tried to gather my scattered thoughts. This wasn't something I could just blather on about at length. Well, maybe first I should figure out what exactly she wanted to know.

  “So,” I began. I saw her flinch as I looked over, and she wouldn't meet my gaze. “What's up?” Well now she was looking at me. And glaring.

  “What was Jack talking about?” Amy asked. “The end of the world? Sorry am I crazy or did I hear that right?”

  “Ah, yeah.” That would be the most pressing issue. “Coil's pet precog--”

  “His what?” I sighed.

  I started with Dinah's prediction, it had been outed at the meeting between the heroes and villains so it was safe at least. When she asked who Dinah was, I had to go out on a limb with half-remembered crap about her being kidnapped by Coil a few months ago.

  “Oh shit,” I swore.

  “What?”

  “Forgot,” I explained. “Undersiders' first job, at the bank, that was cover for kidnapping her.”

  “Are you fucking serious?” Amy's face was crimson. “They're working for Coil?”

  “Yes, well, not for long, it's complicated.” Coil wasn't long for this world, but just how long he hung around... “Anyway, Jack's taking it seriously, that means I'm taking it seriously. I think it can be averted, or at least Skitter does.” She pursed her lips.

  “When you say the end of the world,” she began shakily.

  “I mean a significant portion of humankind dying out and the planet becoming pretty fucking hostile to life.” Her lower lip began to tremble. I offered a hand. “But, like I said, some people think it can be stopped so...”

  “How can you be optimistic about something like that?”

  “Because I can't afford not to be,” I snapped, then sighed. “Ask your other question, it'll explain why.”

  “You sound like Tattletale,” Amy grumbled. “That's not a compliment,” we groused together.

  “Sorry,” I continued, shaking my head. “But I just...I don't know what's going on in your head, what's like...the important part of it to you.”

  “Whatever.” She paused and frowned. “I just...he told you to kill yourself like you'd...like you'd come back.”

  “I would have.” My alarm rang in my ears and when I spoke again my voice shook. “I don't know when though.”

  “So you...”

  I started from the very beginning, at least of coming back, three days before Leviathan. Told her about my times skipping school, testing my powers, going to the heroes...not about the Undersiders. I shrugged off questions of warning people about Leviathan, who the hell was going to believe a sixteen-year-old with no powers on record? The Protectorate, but only if she submitted to getting kidnapped by Coil.

  “We met on my seventh try,” I said, clenching my hands. “I...survived. Best I ever did.”

  “Jesus.” Amy's eyes narrowed. “Wait, how do I know you're not bullshitting me?” I glared and stuck out my hand.

  “Well?” I challenged, staring her down. “You can see my body right? See any and all tells? Go ahead if you really think, after all this shit, that I'm bullshitting.” She took my challenge, the bitch. “I died six times to Leviathan, then a fucking bunch to the Nine, half of them trying to stop all this fucking shit from unraveling. Jack wanted me to give up everything on the off chance he was telling the truth, and I don't think either of us are that fucking stupid.”

  “But...” Amy began, then shook her head. “No, you said...you said back there...”

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  “I'm not giving that up,” I said when she didn't finish. “You and your sister are alive and...well, after a fashion. Hell of a lot better than yesterday.”

  “I...yeah.” Amy sighed and shook her head, her hand gripping mine tighter. “You're not kidding.”

  “I'm not,” I confirmed.

  “What if...” She began after a moment, then paused. “I...what if I hadn't listened to--”

  “Let's not,” I cut her off. “I don't want to think about it, and you don't want to know about it.”

  “I have to,” she said after a minute of silent staring at the carpet.

  “You really don't,” I countered. “Knowing what you didn't do won't help you with anything but beating yourself up. Better to focus on making up for what you actually did.” She let me go and wrapped her arms around herself.

  “But if I don't know...” Amy swallowed hard. “If I don't know, I can't make sure I don't do it. You have to tell me Lia.”

  “Amy...” I sighed. “That doesn't make sense. If you know, all you're going to do is dread it happening, like what happened already. Being afraid of doing something doesn't mean you can't do it, we've all got the capacity to be fucking monsters.” I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, blocking out Amy's plaintive look. “Maybe later, when we're not starving and on edge, when I didn't die ten minutes ago. Sometime when we're thinking straight, deal?” I held out my hand to shake. She stared quietly.

  “Say that again,” Amy said, grasping me. “When...you'll tell me, you will.”

  “I will,” I promised. I wasn't looking forward to that in the slightest. “And if you give me shit about lying then, I'll slap you.”

  “That's not fair,” she pouted. “I need to know—”

  “You could try trusting me,” I snapped, taking my hand back. “Would be a nice change of pace.”

  “I do trust you,” she retorted. “But...you know how the saying goes: 'trust but verify'.” I held up my skinned over, still missing fingertips.

  “There's your verification,” I said bitterly. I closed my hand and took a deep breath. “Fuck this. Amy, we need to stop talking about this shit because if we keep going one of us is going to say some unforgivable shit. Probably me, admittedly, but all the more reason to stop. We're on edge, tired, and starving. Let's just...let's look for something to eat, then figure out our next move, okay?”

  “Okay,” she agreed after a moment. “I...yeah, I think that's okay.”

  “Thank you.” God...for once someone compromised and it was Amy Dallon. The world was fucking insane. I sat up on the couch, then stood. “You find anything before uhh, the mist hit?” She grimaced.

  “Didn't have much chance to look around,” Amy replied. “Found where your dishes are.”

  “I guess I could have shown you the pantry,” I said, shrugging. “Sorry.”

  “It's...fine, you were tired.”

  “Yeah,” I said, nodding. “I...yeah.”

  The conversation died as we began rooting through the kitchen for something to fill the ache in my stomach that she probably shared. How long since my last meal? Before Siberian, that was all I knew, before...all that shit. Maybe that was why Amy was being so reasonable, the hunger had completely eradicated the bitchiness from her body. I snorted and shook my head, getting a weird look from Amy, but I just kept looking for food.

  Month old, gross cereal with flies coming out of the box, cans of unappetizing beans, a look in the fridge made me gag and I quickly ruled out anything from in there. If I ever got the place I'd have to burn that thing ... I had to get a chair to check the upper cupboards, something that had Amy hiding a grin. Whatever, it let me dig around and find a couple cans of Alphagetti that weren't past their best before. I tossed one down to Amy, then hopped off the chair and retrieved a can opener.

  “We're gonna eat this cold?” I rolled my eyes at the complaint.

  “Doubt we have power here,” I replied. “Anyway, this is just to take the edge off. I figured, once we're good and sure the Nine are gone, we go back to the Protectorate.”

  “I don't want to join--”

  “I'm not asking you too,” I said quickly. “But I don't have a choice, I have to go back. You don't, sure, but what other options do you have?”

  “Leave,” Amy replied simply. “Go...somewhere else, make up for what I did by healing people til I bite it.”

  “Fucking grim.” I sighed. “Makes sense but, I have to ask, why somewhere else?”

  “I can't be here anymore,” she said after a moment of thought. “Can't be around my-- around Glory Girl, it's not safe and I don't deserve it anyway.”

  “Deserve what?” I asked, cocking my head. “To be in the same city as her? Amy, being honest, I'm saying this because I didn't think going home was an option for you. This way you get a roof over your head and are in a place to help people who need it. God knows Brockton Bay is somewhere people need your help more than most. And frankly, I don't think Glory Girl's going to be hanging around either of us anytime soon.” Amy stared at the floor, lip trembling.

  “I-- I can't--” She stopped, sniffing.

  “I'll vouch for you,” I continued when she didn't. “Tell them to lay off you for a bit, give you a break. Pretty sure they'll listen, and I bet Gallant at least would go for it, maybe Miss Militia too.” I frowned. They probably would have helped if I'd bothered to ask, or felt I deserved it... “I know you feel like you don't deserve help Amy, but...but you need it. I guess I do too.”

  “Fuck,” Amy swore, her hands balled tightly.

  “Come on, let's deal with this later,” I said, grabbing the can opener from the drawers by the sink. “Food will do us good.”

  She nodded glumly and took the can of pasta and a spoon when I offered them. After I'd gotten mine, we headed back into the living room and sat down. I poked and prodded at my food for a while, stomach churning at the thought of eating. It was stupid, I was hungry, hadn't eaten in more than a day, but the idea of even a mouthful was--

  “Snrk.” My head snapped over and made Amy flinch. “Just...” She held out her can of noodles, spoon pointing to a trio of them grouped together.

  'G-A-Y'

  I stared at the word for a while, then slowly looked up at Amy. The dam broke and both of us burst out laughing. It really wasn't that funny, considering it, but we giggled about the stupid, immature shit until our sides were sore and tears were streaming down our faces. We slowly calmed down, though our meal was occasionally punctuated by a quiet giggle. I sighed as I prodded at my lukewarm pasta.

  It finally felt like things might be okay.