After blocking the drain, I pumped some cool water into the sink. Taking a deep breath, I dunked my face into the frigid water, then gasped as I pulled myself back out. I brushed my soaked bangs from my face and took a few more deep breaths as I grabbed the nearby towel and dabbed myself dry. The shock from the freezing water did wonders, snapping me awake. I pulled the towel away and looked at myself in the mirror.
Messy-ass hair, though my cute face doesn’t look dead anymore. Making progress!
Knowing that my mother would make such a fuss about my hair, I decided to go back to my room and take the time to brush it. Ever since becoming a girl, I’d learned to hate the tedium that is hair maintenance.
Originally, when I learned of my abrupt new gender identity, I was fine with giving long hair a shot. Back in my prior life as a man, I had two forms of hair:
One, no hair, as every summer I shaved it all off and took on my Heisenberg persona.
Two, hair grown out to about past ear length. I usually did this around the winter.
My winter hair, while slightly long for a guy, was pretty easy to maintain. Bed heads weren’t an issue, and usually, a quick shower and brush were all it took.
Yet now, with hair going down my back, first off, it was heavy. I felt like every time I bent over, gravity was just grabbing my hair and yanking me to the floor. Especially when it rained or after a bath. Maybe it was just because I wasn’t used to having hair that long. I wondered if there were any neck exercises I could do to make it easier.
Secondly, it could smell. Like, really bad. Now, I know this was probably just because I didn’t bathe as much, or maybe I was bathing wrong. But like, after days or nights of being outside with my brother and getting all sweaty, and even after washing, I swear the smell just got stuck. Whenever Mother washed my hair with me, she seemed to be perfect at it.
Mental note: get Mother for some girl talk when things calm down about washing hair.
Yet a second idea came to mind.
My mother always had short hair. Why don’t I just cut mine too? If I do that, I can join her on Team Tomboy. Yes, yes, I like this idea. Mother does seem to rock the look well, so maybe I could too.
This could be a solution. Yet for now, I was stuck with the endless knots and curls that refused to straighten out as I sat in my room for ten or so minutes brushing. When I did finally get it to a state I could be satisfied with, I proceeded to get dressed. Which was thankfully not an issue due to Mother’s help earlier that morning.
Ever since Puberty 2.0 kicked in and my breasts began developing, the pain they brought me when changing was annoying, to say the least. It was like a sore that didn’t go away until ter in the evening. I also noticed some concerning markings—red spots and what look to be stretch marks—appearing around my bumps, though my mother said this was normal. I sure hoped so. In my prior life, my great-grandmother had breast cancer.
Now that I think about… does cancer even exist in this world of magic? If it does, is it even called cancer? Duh, no. That’s an English word.
Diseases and such did exist. Varis and I had gotten sick before, a couple years ago. It was horrible, like a flu but worse. Not only did it make me and my brother bedridden and constantly puke, but it also made our muscles spasm. My parents called it “the trembles.” I wondered why they didn’t just use magic on it. Instead, they went to the physician’s office in town and got normal medicine, which helped, of course, but wouldn’t it have been easier to just poof it away?
Well, let’s think about it like D&D. In that game, some spells require components to cast, which cost money. Maybe it’s the same thing here? Healing magic is probably expensive.
Anyway, today I chose to go for something different. I had asked my mother a while back about getting me some clothes that weren’t just dresses and skirts. To my surprise, she was more than happy to provide. As Varis grew taller and taller, Mother modified some of his older pants and gave them to me.
I was shocked to see that I could fit this weathered pair of jeans. As I pulled them on in front of the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice that my shape seemed a bit different than normal.
Am I getting fat? I wondered as I looked myself over, noticing some very faint curves forming, taking shape. I had grown taller over the past year, and now that I was looking at myself… yes. I looked like I’d put on a little bit of weight. Nothing bad, quite frankly; it was nice. It was like my body was finally taking the shape it wanted.
Once again, my thoughts began to wander to what I would look like in ten years or so. I was taking heavily after my mother; almost an exact clone of her, it seemed. There was a bit of my father in me too, such as his sharp eyebrows and nose. I pictured myself looking like my mother but with my father’s height. The thought excited me. Unlike my st life, I didn’t want to squander the chance at working on my self-image. I wanted to be strong, confident and… very attractive.
For some reason I felt wrong thinking that. Dirty. Was it wrong for me to be thinking about stuff like that at my age? Realistically I was an adult. Like, chronologically speaking, I mean. I would have been thirty-four back on Earth. I would also have been a guy. Yet now I was a young girl trying on her brother’s clothes wondering how big her tits were going to be and how hot she wanted to become. God, I felt disgusting. It felt like I was just making excuses to enjoy this…
I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. You’re. Luna. Now. You aren’t “him,” you can be and enjoy whatever you want, I tried to tell myself. While the dread in me was pushed away for now. I could feel it still lingering. Focus on the now. Let’s have fun.
Wiggling my hips, I pulled the pants up my legs, then waist before buttoning them. Then I looked back up into the mirror and shifted, kicking and shaking my pants-covered legs, before doing a twirl in the mirror and looking back at myself from over my shoulder.
It wasn’t bad. The pants were worn and a bit faded, but Mother had done a good job at refitting these. I could hardly tell they used to be my brother’s aside from the aged look. The material clung nicely and wasn’t too tight. Yet something wasn’t right.
“This feels weird,” I said out loud to no one in particur.
I haven’t worn pants in how long, I thought. Years, maybe. As a once-avid pants-wearer, this feels strange now. Mother had always had me wearing skirts or dresses. Or, well, she hadn’t “made” me do anything. Those were just the only clothes my parents had gotten for me.
While I had worn pajama bottoms, those don’t count as true pants to me. Unless you’re one of those folks who walk around in public wearing them, which, hey, I used to do that too. But then after a few judgmental looks while wearing my Star Wars pajama bottoms, I realized that maybe I shouldn’t. Perhaps I’m just a coward. No, I am. I’ll admit that.
Mother would have absolutely killed me, though, if she saw me outside in my pajamas. So I’d stuck with skirts and dresses. Which, honestly, were fantastic. I’d never imagined how attached I’d become to feminine clothes. The exceptions were bright pinks and such, but thankfully Mother and Father were understanding of that, so I mainly wore cooler colors.
Compared to these jeans, skirts were so much more liberating, and never too much of a hassle for me. It’s all about your loadout, if I were to use video game terms.
You need to prep the right equipment. If you’re going out in the field, say the camping trip, you’ll need a suitable dress or skirt. Don’t go with the big frilly ones that drag on the ground. You’ll be trailing all sorts of dirty things and snagging on every branch. So go with a shorter, form-fitting outfit like I had. You get the freedom of movement and it’s comfy. Just gotta think practically.
I never knew I’d be so into this… into dressing up or, well, acting feminine. It was really refreshing, and it made me happy. But today I was feeling nostalgic. I’d wanted to see how I look wearing boyish clothes, and … these pants, while weird, were nice. I might actually be able to pull off the tomboyish look I was gunning for. Watch out, Mother. Soon I’ll be the prettier tomboy!
From my dresser, I pulled out one of the casual shirts that my mother got for me a few years ago. It was getting small, but it would go well with the pants. So, I slipped into it. The abaster fabric clung to me; it was a bit snug, but in the mirror, I looked like a little farmer girl. All I was missing were some suspenders and a straw hat. I smirked at myself and giggled. Doing another twirl, I looked myself over, admiring the simple yet comfortable outfit. The outfit felt almost like a second skin as it ran over my growing form and shape.
As I turned, I stopped. Around my chest, there was a subtle suggestion of my developing womanhood. My face turned a deep red. I spun away and went over to my bed, grabbing my boots and pulling them on, as I tried to erase that image from my mind.
Why am I getting flustered over something so natural?! I shook my head again. Don’t think about it.
Once I was ready, I did a once-over on my hair again and went downstairs.
It was very early in the morning; Father was still snoring like a bear, and as I passed by Varis’s room, I could hear him snoring equally loud. It’s like they’re having a snoring competition, I thought, and giggled.
Downstairs, I faintly smelled coffee and cinnamon porridge. From the living room, I turned to the kitchen and saw Isa, as usual, already awake and eating breakfast. My mother must have been working the range as the two of them talked softly.
It was Isa who took note of me approaching first, her feline ears perking up and swiveling like two radar dishes as her eyes gnced up to meet mine. I stopped as she squinted, noticing her eyes scanning me from head to toe.
A big smile soon bloomed on her face. The serelli said, “Cailynn, come look.”
My mother appeared from around the corner, wearing a surprisingly simir getup to my own, though her shirt was gray, and her jeans were not as worn-out. She was using a washcloth to wipe her hands off. Her eyebrow rose at the sight of me.
I blushed. “Wh-What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do I look funny?”
My mother smiled. “No, sweetie, you look different! But good! Great, even!” She walked in a circle around me.
I blushed even harder and felt the tips of my ears wiggling as my mother said, “My little girl is turning into a woman!” She squealed, which sent me almost to the ceiling. “Isa, look, my little one is going to need a bra soon!” She pointed to my chest, where a tiny bump was hardly visible through my shirt.
Instinctively I yelped and crossed my arms over my chest, my face burning. “H-Hey!” I squeaked and turned away.
My mother was abuzz. “How should I make it?” she asked herself. “Luna, what’s your favorite flower? Or color?”
I stared and shifted from foot to foot, arms still shielding my chest. They were practically mosquito bites. I was nowhere near the size of needing a bra just yet. “Uh…” was all I could say in response, my brain seizing up and crashing. We were all women here, yet the mere thought of me talking about this with my mother still made me shudder.
Isa snorted and guffawed before covering her mouth and grabbing her water so as not to choke on her breakfast.
Seeing my embarrassment, my mother quickly composed herself and said, “My apologies, Luna. I just… you look so cute!” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me as I squeaked into her stomach. “You’re growing up too fast! You need to slow down!”
It took Isa to cw my mother away from me.
Once everyone had calmed down, my self-consciousness returned to a normal level. Mother made me a pte of porridge and toast, along with a small cup of coffee. We all sat around and enjoyed our breakfast together in silence—that is, until on the st sip of my coffee, Isa looked at me.
“Cailynn told me you had another nightmare earlier.” Her feline ears flicked and swiveled towards me.
I stopped sipping midway and lowered the cup back down. With a deep breath, I nodded. “Yeah, it was really scary.”
“Was it like the one before?” Isa asked as my mother watched me from across the table.
“No, not exactly. But it felt real, like super real.”
“Super real?” Isa murmured, and I nodded. “Can you tell me about it?” She lightly pushed her empty bowl away.
I cleared my throat and shrugged. “It’s hazy; the dream wasn’t as vivid as before.”
“Please try.” Isa motioned for me to speak.
I gnced up at my mother, who nodded towards Isa, and sighed.
“I was running away from something… I was me, I think. I didn’t really check. It was nighttime. I heard… machine gun fire.”
“Machine gun?” Isa gnced at Mother.
“I don’t know what a machine gun is.” Mother shrugged. “Slyran would probably be more familiar with firearms.”
Ah crap, I assumed once again.
I sipped my coffee again, but whimpered when I noticed it was empty and set it down. “It was like a gun, but it shot really fast. Like ratatatatatata.”
Both Mother and Isa snorted and covered their mouths to hide their giggles. “It isn’t cute!” I protested. “It was really scary!”
As they calmed themselves, Isa nodded and said, “I know, Luna. Sorry, please continue.”
I sighed and said, “I vaguely recall hiding in a hollow log when this… mechanical monster thing showed up. I think it killed some people who were running with me; it made this scary roar, and I felt this powerful heat come off of it. I was freaking out, and in my head, I could hear my own voice telling me to get to the city. That time was running and out and someone… was moving? And then I woke up because I think the monster found me.” I defted at the st bit.
Isa watched me with a focused gaze. I could see her stewing in the information. Then she side-eyed my mother, who was also watching me closely. The two of them shared eye contact for a second before Isa looked at me and leaned in.
“Have you had any more dreams like this in the past?” she asked me.
I shook my head. “Not that I know of.”
“Isa, she is a growing girl,” Mother started. “With all the stress of everything going on, maybe it’s just… a stress-induced dream.”
I nodded in agreement. I hope it’s just that!
“Maybe, though it seemed oddly specific if that were true.” Isa stroked her chin. “Back home, in my tribe, dreams are held dear. They are important in that dreams can come from far and beyond; they can carry messages, lore, and visions.”
“What are you getting at?” I asked before my mother could.
Isa gripped her chin with her cwed index finger and thumb. “You could be what is known as an Awakened Dreamer, Luna.”
“Hold on, a what?” both my mother and I said.
“Back in Kazora, our tribes had what are known as soulcasters,” Isa expined, and my eyes widened.
“Wait, like spirimancy?” I looked to my mother, who nodded.
“Exactly,” Isa said, “it is actually my people who discovered and perfected it.” She traced her cwed fingers over the table. “Soulcasters are oracles, those who have unlocked the inner eye within them and can live all their lives simultaneously.”
Like mine, my mother’s eyes widened with interest.
“This is what we call the Awakening. When we die, Luna, our souls are cast into the Current. It is here that our souls are washed clean of the memories of our prior lives before descending into the Deepest Darkest Ocean. Within this ocean of souls, we wait until the Fisherman comes and pulls us out before releasing us into the Expanse, where we travel beyond before reawakening in our next life.”
“Wait…” I blinked. “So, you’re telling me reincarnation is normal?”
Mother gnced at me, and Isa smiled. “Yes. Every one of us has lived prior lives, and in my tribe, Awakened soulcasters are those who remember all of their prior lives and use that knowledge to guide us.”
Wait, wait, wait… so is that what happened to me? I died back on Earth and woke up here. Is this Current something that exists in my old world?
I sat back and rubbed my head.
“What I’m getting at, Luna…” Isa said. “You might be or could be Awakened. You don’t need to be someone from my tribe to become Awakened, or, in this case, a Dreamer. Dreamers are those who are partially Awake but can only live old memories through their dreams.”
Mother nodded. “Before spririmancy was officially discovered,” she chimed in, “these people were seen as defective and suffering mental illnesses. Not far from here, there’s an old asylum. Sunshine’s Lunatic Asylum, I think it was called.”
I gulped. “I’m not going to be sent there if this is true, right?”
She snorted. “No, sweetie, the pce has been closed for almost over a century; I was a baby when it was shut down.”
“She is correct,” Isa said. “Nowadays, in most countries, Awakened people are well cared for. One can only imagine what it’s like to have the memories of hundreds or thousands of lives they once lived. Many do in fact go mad, but those, like soulcasters, are trained to cope and live within the present.”
I bit my lip. “So, you’re telling me that if I fully Awaken, I can go crazy?”
Mother shook her head. “No, you won’t go crazy.” She gnced at Isa. “While this has been interesting, Isa, I don’t fully buy that Luna is what you’re saying.”
Isa leaned closer to me. “I’m not fully certain of it yet either, but the likelihood is there. That dream you had on your birthday, the nguage you spoke. That is no tongue that is spoken in Enora. At least not in official circles.”
I shifted. “You said you heard an old wizard in the past speak it, right?” I asked, and Isa nodded. “Who did he speak to?”
“I was young at the time, but he spoke to our elder. The soulcaster of our tribe,” Isa said with a sigh. She stroked her chin. “Our elder spoke to him fluently in that tongue in the privacy of their room, or what they thought was private. But I couldn’t go and ask them what they were talking about. I was merely a child at the time; if I were caught listening, I would’ve been punished harshly.”
I gnced over at my mother, who seemed to be stuck in her thoughts. “What if we tried to contact the elder now? Or maybe track down that mage?”
Isa smirked and shrugged. “Unfortunately, Elder Y’Nari is long gone. She has passed into the Current and is hopefully living a more peaceful life now. As for the mystery mage…” She trailed off and tapped her chin. “The man is a ghost.”
“What do you mean?”
Isa lowered her voice. “Perhaps it was just my childish fears at the time. But when the man left Elder Y’Nari’s room, he drifted past me and went outside. I tried to follow him, yet when I neared the vilge gate, something blinded me for a second, I do not know what. When my vision came to, he was gone; perhaps I tripped, or something got in my eye. But I swear, no human man moves that quickly.”
“What happened after?” I asked with a bit of excitement. Isa was finally telling me a story of hers.
She defted slightly. “Our elder acceded to the demands of the Veillites. For so long, she was adamant that we reject their gifts and orders. Yet after that, a strange mage showed up. She folded.”
“Oh…” I leaned back.
“What did this man look like?” my mother asked.
Isa pursed her lips. I could tell she was digging deep into her mind. “He was a weird one. Wore clothes I had never seen before at the time. He wore an all-bck suit, had a fine hat, and carried this suitcase. His beast tongue was excellent and posh, his Common even more exquisite; I think he had brown or bck hair.”
“That could be anyone.” My mother sighed before Isa snapped her fingers.
“Oh, wait, I remember this clearly… The left side of his face had a scar, a long scratch.” She nodded. “It always scared me when he smiled in my direction.”
“Okay, that’s a nice detail to go off of. If he’s a mage, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still around. Very rarely does a wizard keel over from old age, assuming they’re human. They’re always scrambling to find ways to live longer.”
Isa nodded. “Perhaps, though he may not look the same as I remember. But as…” She waved her hand. “That is a job for another, much calmer day. For now, to end what I was going to say… Luna.” She turned to me. “Please let me know if you have any more dreams like that as soon as you can. If we start noticing a trend, it may be best to find a spirimancer.”
“Isn’t spirimancy, like… not approved for practice?” I gnced at Mother, who nodded, but Isa was firm.
“Only in states that’re within the Magus Concilium. I could always take you to my homend, where we could have you checked.”
“Okay, hold on,” my mother interrupted. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves.” At this point, I heard a door upstairs open, followed by an obnoxious belch and chuckle from my father.
The man of the house is awake. I smirked.
Mother rexed back in her seat. “How about we enjoy the rest of our breakfast and pick this conversation up another time?”
Isa straightened up and bowed her head. “Agreed, and I do apologize if I overstepped.” My mother smiled and gave her a reassuring nod.
“Luna, when you’re finished with your breakfast, help me with the dishes and your father’s meal,” Mother said as she got up and went over to the range to prep a cup of coffee.
It was around ten in the morning when Varis woke up and came down to join the rest. I was in the middle of helping Mother finish up in the kitchen, taking care of Father’s mess as he sat there sipping his coffee and reading the paper.
“No news yet on the Kaiser’s response,” Father said softly to us as Varis entered.
“I hope that old fart waits till the st second to respond,” Mother said. “More time we have, the better.”
“More time till what?” my sleepy brother asked, sitting down beside our father.
Mother motioned for me to bring the st bowl of porridge over to him. Taking the bowl in hand, which was kept warm by a heat stone, I walked over to him.
“More time till something that I’ll be wanting to talk to you about shortly.” Father was gruff; he always sounded like a grump in the morning.
Varis jerked up in his seat and gnced at me, worried. I shrugged and pulled back, though I had an idea of what Father wanted to talk to him about.
“Isa, Cailynn, and Luna.” Father eyed us. “Once you’re finished with the kitchen, can you leave the two of us alone in private?”
I blinked. Okay, now I was curious.
The women nodded as my mother gripped my shoulder. “Luna, why don’t you go to the backyard? There’s something we need to tend to. As a matter of fact, take some of the salted juni to Ruby.”
I nodded before going to grab the small wooden keg stuffed with pork-like meat. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that heavy. Carrying it on my shoulder wasn’t so bad as I went out the back door.
We didn’t have a stable here at the Ashflow house; my parents never saw the need to have animals on this property until recently. So, to make up for it, my father hastily built a makeshift hitching post near the lone sycora tree.
Ruby was a beautiful strider, but horribly intimidating. Her red scales sparkled in the sun’s light, and her purple and blue feathers looked extremely fluffy. Yet her piercing blue eyes made me shiver as the velociraptor-like creature gred down at me. I say velociraptor; this thing was a T-Rex compared to my short height.
Ruby tilted her rge head and shifted her massive form to look at me. She had been standing, yet as I drew near, she squatted down before me, like a chicken over its nest. Despite bringing herself down to my level, she still towered over me.
“H-Hey there, R-Ruby… I’m not… a wyer, so please don’t eat me.” I gulped. “Instead, uh… take this.” I popped open the keg, and the dragon’s head lifted curiously and cocked to one side.
I reached into the keg and pulled out a salty, purplish sb of meat. Though it looked grotesque, it smelled pretty good as I chucked the meat at Ruby, who, in a fsh and vicious roar, caught the hunk of flesh midair and swallowed it.
With a yell, I fell back on the grass as the rge dragon leaned in. She began to nose at the keg, trying to get more.
“Holy hell, why would she send me out here to do this?” I panted heavily. “I could’ve gone to a world with horses and been better off.” I sighed, rolled over, and got to my feet, gncing around to make sure no one heard me. Seeing I was alone, I turned to see Ruby using her talon-like fingers to poke at the keg.
I gulped once more and stepped forward, hands raised. “Hey, girl.” The strider looked up at me. “I—I can get more meat out for you.” I pointed to the barrel.
Her eyes followed my finger. She gnced back at me and then back at the keg. This continued for a few seconds while I inched forwards and reached for the juni. A horrific snarl came from deep within her throat, and I immediately backed away. “I—I was just trying to get some more food for you, but hey… if you don’t want it, sure.” I turned around and walked away.
Mother said she was going to come out here; what’s taking so—
“GYAAAK!” I cried out as my vision was hit by stars. A sharp pain erupted in the back of my head as my face met earth and grass.
Behind me, I could hear deep grunting and hissing, almost like ughter. I lifted my head and whimpered, rubbing the lump on the back of my head. Turning, I saw the keg of meat beside me and, further back, the strider lying down and ughing…
These things can ugh? I blinked at the meat beside me.
“Why did you hit me?!” I yelled, and Ruby stopped her ughter and looked at me with a bnk face.
I pouted and stuffed my hand in the keg, started yanking out all the meat, and kicked it towards the strider. “Jerk. I offered to help!” I huffed, tossed the keg aside, and walked away.
“GAH!” I shrieked as a wet sp of meat cpped me right in the back. Thankfully, it wasn’t a wooden keg, but it still startled the shit out of me. I spun around to see Ruby chortling and licking the meat off the ground. “You’re a bully!”
“Why are you yelling at Ruby?” Mother asked just as the back door shut behind her.
“She threw the keg at me!” I said. Mother looked at Ruby, who was looking at the sky innocently.
“Did she, now?” she asked, and I nodded.
“It really hurt.” I rubbed the back of my head.
My mother looked at Ruby once more, and in a voice that shocked me, she spoke in a deep, guttural nguage I hadn’t heard before. At least, I thought it was a nguage; it sounded like throat singing and throat clearing at the same time. Ruby shot to attention, then let off a loud whine and settled down.
Mother then cleared her throat before rubbing it tenderly.
“What was that?!”
“That was Draconian.” She coughed and pounded her upper chest. “It’s killer on the throat for us elves and humans.”
“You can speak dragon?” I gawked.
“A little bit. Isa knows more than me.” She walked away and motioned for me to follow.
I began to trail behind Mother. “What did you say?”
“I said that if she touches another hair on your head, I’ll put her on a spit.” Mother said it so nonchantly, I blinked.
A bit extreme, don’t you think, Mother? I thought, but then stopped when I noticed where we were walking.
The cabin.
“Uh, why are we going to the cabin?”
“Because I’m going to grab a few final things, and you’re going to help.” Mother hummed a soft tune as she reached into her pockets and pulled out a key.
“W-Wait, I can go in there?” I asked, wide-eyed.
Mother gnced back at me and smiled. “Just this once.” She winked and unlocked the door.
The Empress has been acting rashly and unpredictably. I’ve seen undocumented trains carrying vast quantities of weapons to the western border...