I hated my life so fricking much in tat moment. Just when I thought Abby and I would have a day to fully act as a couple, everything came crashing down, and the nice clothes I had picked for the date now were a mocking reminder of yesterday’s optimism.

  What exactly was going on? Well…

  To begin with, let us start with me feeling a bit under the weather the whole of yesterday serving as a base for our pizza of hellish misery.

  To that, add on top the clothes I picked. It was the dress Abby gave me when we were just starting to get to know each other, a nice pair of sandals that Abby said made my feet look even prettier, the matching choker Abby and I always wore, a wide brim hat that had a blue ribbon the same colour as the flowers adorning the dress, and one of Abby’s favourite underwear, ones that she liked watching me wearing and tease me about. The tter piece of clothing was what irked me the most about what I had pnned to wear to our date because I wouldn’t get to wear it at all! Stupid menstrual cycle couldn’t have waited until Sunday… Instead, I’d have to wear some boring, old panties. Not that it mattered because there wasn’t going to be any action at all. And it’s not really my body’s fault for that. How could it really be? I’d just been so tired and worrying about so many things tely that I forgot about it until the moment after I dirtied my bedsheet, because of course that had to happen too. You’d also think that yesterday, about half an hour after getting home from school, I’d go like “hmm, I’m starting to get cramps. Isn’t it time for that already?” but no, dirty sheets and changing the bed at one in the night was what I went with instead.

  And those said cramps, oh my God, the cramps! They started mild enough that I could pretend they weren’t there, but around dinner time, they had gotten very strong, strong enough that they ended up making me throw up, not to mention how the pain spread to my legs and back. The painkiller I had taken to provide some measure of relief had also been thrown out when that happened. I didn’t take another one afterwards to py it safe and right now, that being ten-past-eight in the morning, I still had to wait at least another hour for that. They were the super strong kind of pills.

  Finally, there was the heat. Nothing new there, but supposedly, today was to be the hottest day of the year. As the saying goes, “when it rains, it pours” right?

  Any moment now, Abby would pop her head inside our bedroom, all smiles and excited for our date, maybe even about making some love before we got in the shower, but… haah, nothing like that was going to happen, was it…?

  “…And she was looking so much forward to it…”

  Starting the day as I said, then go have breakfast at her favourite bakery, take a small walk around the park, come home to prepare lunch… snuggle at the back for a nap with our feet dipped in water, some kissing and love talk… That had been my pn. We could still do some of that, but… I didn’t think I’d be able to fully enjoy it and neither would Abby because she’d be worrying over me and watching me being in pain. Calling her to cancel the pns didn’t work either because she’d come over to check on me. I’d still end up troubling her, and that was what got me really mad.

  I could tolerate the pain, the fact that I didn’t sleep, the heat, all that bundled up, if Abby had a good time at least. I’d take ten times this over the fact that I’d be causing Abby to worry about me when all she needed was a good time to help somewhat offset the hard time she had that past week.

  “I hate this so much!” I said through clenched teeth as I held back tears from frustration.

  And because misfortune has a bone to pick with me, as I was clenching my teeth, was when I heard the front door opening and Oliver cry out a welcome immediately followed by Abby’s voice telling him to be a bit quieter so not to disturb me.

  “…No. I refuse to let things go down like this.”

  I forced myself to unfurl and sit on the side of the bed, putting up the best possible face I could to greet Abby.

  “Hi babe!” Abby said cheerfully once our eyes met, through the small slit she opened to peek inside.

  “Hi honey!” I said back, sounding convincing enough that I was in good spirits. Rather, that I was in better spirits.

  With a hopping step reminding me of a sparrow walking around, she came to sit by my side for a kiss and them pcing her hand on my lower stomach.

  “How are you doing?” she asked as she massaged the area.

  “A bit sore,” I told her, her magic hand somehow making it worse this time.

  “Oh good. I mean, it still suck, but—”

  “I get you,” I told her, grabbing her hand and resting it on my p with our fingers entangled. “What about you?”

  “Would you believe me if I told you that I almost forgot it was that time of the month?” she said with a ugh. “It just suddenly came up to me when I checked the weather st night and saw what day it was.”

  She meant it as a light-hearted banter, but hearing her say that made me a bit more worried. One thing was me forgetting about it because I was fussing about so many things, another thing was Abby. Did that side of me have to rub off on her too?

  “So? Shall we take a shower?”

  “…Sorry honey, not today,” I told her. “I don’t feel comfortable doing that today…”

  “Oh… ok. I understand,” she said, trying not to look and sound disappointed, but today really wasn’t a good day for that as much as both of us wished to be otherwise. “Does that include drying hair?”

  By that point, I’ll be clothed, so I was ok with it, but I still felt guilty for lying to her about how I was feeling, so I gave her a big kiss and squeeze as a parting gift.

  Walking a straight line after that was harder than it should, but I think I made it look normal enough until I got inside the bathroom and closed the door. There, I crouched down hugging my stomach with my forehead pressed against my knees.

  “Will I even be able to make it to the bakery?”

  That was my sole objective. If I got through with the date until that point, then I’d tell Abby I wasn’t feeling too good and we’d come right back here. It would still be far from the date I had pnned, but at least we checked most of the outside activities and Abby got to eat one of her jelly-filled donuts that she loved so much for breakfast, and I’d have watched her nibble it gleefully and getting the corners of her mouth covered in frosting sugar. Quite frankly, maybe having something sweet might make me feel a bit better too, so…

  ???

  My girlfriend was looking just as pretty as always. I should be beyond happy walking by her, holding hands as we made our way to one of my favourite bakeries to have breakfast, especially since she was the one who came up with the idea, and yet… all I felt was misery as we got further away from her pce and closer to our destination.

  Most of the times since January that Violet had her period, she had a terrible time. I also know very well that she can’t handle hot weather at all. I also knew that sleeping was being hard on her since we had grown used to sleeping together over the summer. Today however, it was a whole other level.

  There was something very wrong with Violet… she looked both flushed and pale at the same time. Pale lips, flushed cheeks. Add heavy sets of dark circles and having started to breath from her mouth a while ago to the list, and if it doesn’t make you worry, then there’s something far more wrong with you. Her footing was unsteady too, her posture bent awkwardly, and sometimes the hand holding mine twitched, and so did the corners of her mouth and eyes.

  “Is everything really ok?” I asked, this time hugging her arm.

  “Yeah, I’m fine honey,” she said, sounding… out of breath.

  Another thing that was bothering me was the way she was addressing me. Ever since we met up, not even once had she referred to me by name, it always being “honey this” and “honey that” when in fact she calls me that sparingly.

  “Are you sure?” I insisted, hugging her arm even tighter. “You don’t look so good.”

  She attempted to smile at me, but it only made her face look even more frightening.

  “I’m fine, really,” she told me as she leaned her head to kiss me, but just as she was about to touch my forehead, her body went almost completely limp, giving me the scare of my life as I sat her down while calling out to her repeatedly and asking if she was ok. If I hadn’t been clinging to her as I was, she’d likely have fallen down and smacked her head against the pavement without me being able to stop her once her body had built momentum.

  “S-sorry, I… dizzy…” she huffed as she pced a hand on her forehead.

  I pushed that hand aside and my worry deepened even more. Her sweat was cold, but her forehead was burning up and the idiot kept telling me she was fine, just a bit dizzy.

  “You idiot! There’s no way you’re fine!” I shouted at her.

  Somehow, she still found the strength to argue with me, still saying she’d be fine if she took a little rest and for me to put down my phone and not call an ambunce.

  “Will you stop it already!? There’s no way we can carry on with our date like this!” I shouted at her, this time holding her face between my hands as I made her lock eyes with me.

  That was what finally broke her, tears now running down her face as she sobbed apologies.

  I took a few deep breaths to cool down and think.

  She didn’t want to go to the hospital and she kept saying between sobs and apologies that it was just the heat, ck of sleep and her flow that made her almost colpse. Maybe it had been that. Still, I didn’t know what to do, so I called dad.

  Right as he heard Violet sobbing and my own distressed voice as I told him what was going on and what Violet told me, I could tell he was getting ready to leave the apartment before even telling me he was on his way to meet us wherever we were. He wanted to take Violet to the hospital himself, but I told him that she wasn’t willing to, and asked what we should do.

  “All right, ok… I’m acquainted with a doctor from the hospital, so I’ll see what he advises us doing and if he can come check on her. In the meantime, just worry about taking care of Violet and let me worry about warning Stan, ok?”

  “Thanks dad,” I told him, feeling calmer already.

  “Just hand tight, I’m already in the car.”

  I thanked him again before hanging up and turning my attention to Violet.

  “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!” she kept sobbing on repeat.

  “…Just shut up already,” I told her as I hugged that idiot head of hers. “We are taking you to my pce, and if the doctor says so, then you’re going to the hospital next, but for now try to calm down, ok?”

  She nodded as she clung to my clothes, still sobbing like crazy, but at least she wasn’t getting on my nerves with her shower of apologies.

  I never knew I could be so mad, worried and feeling pity about the same person at the same time as I was right now.

  “Is everything ok?” the voice of an old dy asked from behind were we sat.

  The dy living in the house we sat in front of had heard the commotion and came outside, now standing just a few steps away from us holding a hand to her chest as she moved the head side to side to take a better look at us.

  “Y-yes! Sorry for the commotion. My dad will be here in a minute, so don’t worry about us,” I told her.

  “Well, all right,” she said, still sounding concerned. I’ll be inside if you need anything, she added, pointing at her pce with a wrinkly finger form the same hand clutching her chest.

  I thanked her before looking down the street. Dad’s car was already visible since we were just five minutes away from any of our pces.

  With some struggle I got Violet to stand up, and told her it was time for us to go home as I helped her stay upright.

  Dad parked right in front of us, not even bothering with the legalities of the manoeuvre he did to do so, and stepped out of the car to give me a much-needed help in getting Violet inside the car.

  Just before we drove off, I rolled the window and stared at the house of the nice old dy. I could see her standing by the window, watching us either out of morbid curiosity or still concerned. No matter the reason why, she was still looking at us, so I waved at her to let her know we were good, as a thank you, and as a farewell.

  Looking at Violet as she leaned on me, my chest tightened again as I saw her face and heard her ragged breathing.

  This would be the one date I’ll never ever want to remember.

  ???

  When I came to, I didn’t even open my eyes. I didn’t want to.

  I could also immediately tell that I wasn’t in my bed, but in Abby’s. The room was too nice of a temperature to be mine, and Abby’s scent surrounded me.

  I wasn’t feeling comforted by any of it, however, because Abby was clearly mad at me. That much was clear by the fact that she wasn’t even bothering with wringing the excess of water from the wet compresses she was applying to my forehead, deciding to let it all run down my face.

  Except… it wasn’t Abby? She certainly didn’t smell like her, now that my senses were more awake. I could smell sweat and coffee—a very intense smell of coffee, and that wasn’t Abby at all. What’s more, as I opened my eyes to take a look, she looked… taller? No, the person in question was taller and looked a lot like Abby, but she wasn’t Abby at all, but her sister who I was now staring at, both of us too dumbstruck to utter a word.

  “Erm… my sis… Abby went with our dad to the pharmacy to get some medication for you…” she said in half a voice, her body nguage screaming that she wanted to up and disappear from the face of the Earth.

  “Huh… I see…” I said, my voice also sounding weak but for a whole other reason.

  Yeah, I was remembering it now. How I made Abby worry and caused William to call a doctor home just to check on me. It was all a bit hazy, but I remembered well enough to know that I created a colossal mess for everyone to clean after.

  A new voice chimed in, this time belonging to my dad as he came inside the room. He was looking angry but also worried when our eyes met, but his attention went elsewhere first.

  “Hold on Sophie, you need to twist the excess water before putting it on her forehead,” he told her as he showed how it was done, me silently thanking him the kindness.

  “O-oh! S-sorry, I…” she said, very armed, but her voice choking up as she looked away and grew deeply embarrassed. “I didn’t know I was supposed to…”

  My dad pced a gentle hand on her shoulder and gave her a friendly smile as he told Sophie it was ok and that no harm would come of it except maybe a little bit of discomfort from me. And now that he mentioned me, his gaze locked on mine, that rare stern look coming back to his face.

  “Dad, please…” I begged, already on the verge of tears as I partially hid my face with the bedsheets.

  “I wasn’t gonna say anything,” he told me as he crossed his arms. “Besides, there’s nothing I can tell you that you won’t hear from Abby that’d cut as deep.”

  Abby… I messed up so bad, haven’t I?

  What would I even tell her? I could only tell her the truth and deeply apologise, but it still didn’t feel enough for what I made her go through. Really, what a mess I’ve created.

  “…Haah, foolish girl,” my dad sighed, snapping me out of my thoughts with his words and getting me confused once he started ruffling my hair with a smile. “You should have learned by now to take better care of yourself.”

  “…Sorry dad,” was all I could muster under the embarrassment of having him pampering me in front of a stranger and being too debilitated to do anything about it. Well, pampering me in front of anyone, period.

  Happy to see that I was going to be ok, he asked Sophie to keep an eye on me for just a bit longer.

  “Y-yes! Of course!”

  “Also,” he said, now scratching his head. “Look, I know you three aren’t in the best of terms, but… would it be possible for Violet to stay here a few nights every now and then like she did before? At least until the weather cools down or that I can budget an AC for her room.”

  Sophie’s eyes and mouth slowly widened after my dad asked her that.

  “I, erm… is she not staying… because of me?”

  Now it was time for dad to mess things up by revealing to Sophie that not only did I stay here overnight quite often before, but also that I stopped coming over after she came to live at the apartment.

  “She can stay,” Sophie said, her voice almost muted, her eyes locking into her knees. “My opinion shouldn’t even matter anyway…”

  My dad threw a gnce at me like if he was asking what he should do, but how should I know!? I only know how to deal with Abby, not her sister, or anyone else! Don’t go around starting fires and then ask me for help when I can only deal with a very specific one!

  Oh no… my head! It’s starting to spin again…!

  Why was I born so fragile? It really sucks. It sucks almost as badly as having to share the same space with Sophie now that dad left because he needs to get back to work, otherwise, that woman will use that as an excuse not to pay him for his job.

  Is there anything worse than having to y in silence with someone who’s clearly engaged in a session of self-loathing?

  “Hey Sophie, Stan told me Violet is awake?”

  I took my previous thoughts back, being in the same room as your pissed off girlfriend while you’re guilt-ridden is infinite times worse than that!

  “Yeah, erm, she is,” Sophie answered as she got up, almost running.

  “Ah! W-wait!” Abby called out, just barely catching Sophie on the doorway. “T-thanks… for looking after her.”

  “Hmm,” Sophie hummed, clutching the door frame. “I, erm… I… I think she should… stay tonight. Erm, whenever she wants to.”

  I saw Abby’s mouth hang open, perhaps to say something, or perhaps simply from being caught off guard, but whatever the case may be, she didn’t say a word, nor would any words get heard by her sister, because the tter sprung back into movement and we only heard the door to her room shut.

  Is it… is that some sort of progress between the two?

  It sure didn’t feel like it, but I had another thing to worry about right now. Abby was staring at me with a huge pout, and this time around, it wasn’t cute at all. Then, she started fpping about, the small pstic bag she was holding making a racket.

  “You’re such a… a… a poopy head!” she spat loud enough for the whole building to hear after all that fluttering.

  “P-poopy head!?” I said, sitting up but immediately colpsing down from the vertigo that hit me.

  “Yes! A big poopy head!” she huffed as she sat down where her sister previously was, now in a lower, but still audible enough for the whole apartment to hear, voice.

  From the bag she produced a few boxes of medicine that she almost forcefully fed me, along with some water, all the time only opening her mouth to give me orders to open mine up or swallow.

  “Abby, I’m sorry,” I said after I was sure I had been fully medicated. “Truth is, I started feeling a bit ill yesterday and had a terrible night, but… we were looking so forward to today’s date that I—”

  “That you decided to almost pass out and smack your head open on the cement floor and leave me a widow,” Abby said with a gre.

  “…I’m really sorry for today,” I told her, sliding a hand out of the side of the bed to hold her hand. “I promise, I’ll… I’ll make it up to you next time!”

  “Make it up to me next time,” she uttered under her breath and through her teeth, giving me a chill. “I don’t want that. I want you to stop being so… so one-sided when we are talking about things that affect us both. You need to be a bit more selfish!”

  I was going to say that I wasn’t doing anything like that, but her raised hand that I was just holding her a second ago and her gre stopped me from finishing. She then started counting fingers.

  The first was for that while we had both agreed on sleeping separate, I was the one with the worst conditions and that it was the top-most pressing issue she had.

  The second finger she pointed was for the fact that I had the most sex drive out of the two, and if things went on like this, it’d be another week with us not making love a single time, making it two in total next weekend and there was no way that I wasn’t feeling pent-up about it.

  “Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little bit pent-up these past couple of days too,” she said, her face softening up as she blushed adorably.

  “Wait, you have? But I—”

  “Shush! I’m not done talking yet!” she barked, most of her adorableness disappearing despite her cheeks still holding their rosiness.

  The third finger was for the fact that just spending an hour after school together didn’t feel enough, especially with us counting the time.

  The fourth was that I had no hobbies that I didn’t have her at least close by, even if technically, I was doing them alone while she had the gym and her morning runs.

  The fifth was that she had Mr. Sealy to snuggle with while I had nothing.

  The sixth was one that I actively tried to stop her from saying, but she carried on as she came to straddle my stomach under my bellybutton, this time it feeling comforting compared to that morning when she was rubbing it thanks to some medicine the doctor had given me from what we had in stock. That was also her point, by the way. That having her around made this time of the month significantly easier for me, and as a positive side-effect, to her too.

  “…I’m not hurting you, am I?” she asked, her pout now turning very cute.

  “Not at all,” I said with a relieved moan as I pced my hands over hers to entangle our fingers. “It feels good.”

  “Hehe, good,” she said, now putting all her weight on me and rocking slightly back and forth, effectively massaging the area.

  “Mmh… Erm… About what you told me… I’ll try, but it’s not something that comes naturally to me so...”

  “I think it’ll be fine as long as you’re more aware. You’ll see that it’ll be good for the two of us.”

  “Mm-hmm… Mmh, this is feeling so good.”

  “Pfft, hehe.”

  “What the hell are you two doing!?” William’s voice thundered.

  The position, the movements, the moaning, Abby’s red face, our exchange… Please, kill me now!

  “I-it helps relieving her pain!” Abby shouted at him while dismounting me. “The pressure and the warmth of my body does! Look it up if you don’t believe me!”

  Please God, if you exist, make it so I never have to remember this day ever again!